Quote:
Originally Posted by Less
Every word you wrote, I deeply enjoyed, how someone of your status could waste your time considering the plight of one so lowly as myself.
However you have proved to me that I am so lucky to live in such a caring society.
In fact, I am happy to inform you that thank's to the members of Hyndburnvigilante.com I no longer need to fear the lack of, or indeed the need for a winter coat.
Allow me to explain if you will,
It is Saturday, so I placed myself on my usual spot outside the Railway two hours before they open with my begging bowl and polite sign explaining my difficulties, (usually it is worth the time I often get enough coinage together to enable me to purchase a soda water by the time the place opens).
Today was different, I was approached by a group of people that were determined I should move on, not because they dislike beggars they were just supporting the one's that had had the correct training from Monday groove, it seems they hang around the Market Hall offering insults to those that donate.
To ensure that I would perhaps think twice about re-entering the Borough they tarred and feathered me.
Well all I can say is, yippee it took a while to get used to the fumes, but, as I walked home in the rain, I found that not only was I insulated from the weather, I also found that my skins reaction to this treatment had a very warming effect.
No longer do I need to fear the harsh weather that winter can provide, though I have noticed that every pub I have visited since, insist that they now put a couple of sheets of newspaper down before allowing me to be seated.
Could I perhaps sue for prejudice? It would after all be helping one of the only profitable industries we have left.
 |
Please do not assume that I am interested in your fate. As I originally stated, I wanted to use your alcohol ridden body as one of my myriad tax write-offs. As such your continued parasitic existence is worth precisely +£17 per month to me.
Moonday Grunge is one of my more lucrative tax break recipes, i.e. take one ex-nun, add an inept council, stir in gullible public to taste, simmer using empty shops, misinformation and doe-like eyes. Stir until mixture achieves charity status then add to write-off column. Rub hands with glee, drink champagne, laugh heartily and watch citizens squirm.
Need I elucidate further on the orchestrator of your penguin costume?
Regarding your thoughts on legislative remuneration, It is entirely dependant on the newspaper used...e.g. using the argument 'does my bum look big or what?' should they place a copy of the Times beneath your ample rump or alternatively 'do you think I talk out of my backside?' should they use the sun, mirror or mail.
Regardless, please be aware that as a shareholder in the 'no win, no fee' franchise, I would receive enough for another Lear Jet, whilst you would receive enough for an 'ASDA breakfast'