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Meanwhile of course strike breaking measures will be pulled into place.

Members of the armed forces will be withdrawn from key positions around the world, sent on refresher courses in first aid where they will learn such techniques as applying an elastoplast to a burst appendix and what remains of our Police force will be re-trained so that they no longer say,

"ello, ello, ello, whats goin' on 'ere then?"

Instead people will be greeted at the hospital entrance with,

"there, there, never you mind, let me kiss it better for you!".