[Margaret Pilkington]

I agree whole heartedly with you Son.
Rowlf...tough love is what it is called.
Parents use(usually) the same codes of conduct that were exercised on them as children.
I certainly did, and I can see my daughter also using the same approach.
So I think that to be an effective parent....you have to have had parents who were effective.
It is not about control, it is about instilling in your children the right social/moral values.
The values of doing what is right(because it IS right) even when there is no one watching/checking.
My mother always told me that she had eyes and ears everywhere and that because we were a large family, people expected the worst from us....and if we did bad things then that would justify other people's low opinion of us...and we would let her down...that and the threat of a skelping.