[Div3North]

Accrington Stanley

V

Swindon Town

2017/18 Prediction League; Game 21 v Swindon (home)

Notts County are being "challenged financially" because of their success this season, according to owner Alan Hardy. County are currently second in League Two and beat Oxford City 3-2 on Saturday to reach the FA Cup third round.

• "It's going the wrong way [financially] due to the fact the players are doing so well on the pitch," said Hardy. Each month we're paying out over £40,000 in bonuses to players and management because they are on great win bonuses"

……………. Which is probably about what our salary bill is for the month …… season ……….. year

I have some relatively bad news to share; Swindon are The Away Team of League 2; away from the County Ground, David Flitcroft’s side have played ten in the League, and have won seven of them (scoring 19 and conceding 9); in particular, they’ve won at Carlisle (2-1), Morecambe (1-0, which doesn’t count because everyone wins at Morecambe!), Luton (3-0), Vegan Greenpeace (2-0), Mansfield (3-1), Portly Vale (3-0) and Yeovil (2-1) ….they’ve lost at Notts Co (1-0), Cheltenham (2-1) and Grimsby (3-2) ………………….Happily, they’re pretty crap at home (W3 D2 L5 GF11 GA16) making it, overall, W10 D2 L8 GF30 GA25 for 32 points and 8th place, level on points with Coventry and Mansfield (who did unto Guiseley what we failed to did unto Guiseley) but with a worse GD (+9 plays +7 plays +5)

While we’re doing the stats, they smacked Dartford 5-1 away in the FA Cup, and then met Dartford’s Bigger Brother (Stevenage) last Saturday in Round Two, who smacked them in turn 5-2 for their temerity; they’re out of the EFL Cup (3-2 at Norwich), but did make the knock-out stage of the EFL Troffy, where they lost at home last night to Vegan GP by the odd goal in one …………….. if you reflect two cup exits in four days and that they’d lost their last two League games as well, that’s four defeats on the bounce, which makes better reading than a 70% away win percentage!

They came hurtling down the Greasy Pole of Oblivion last season, in 22nd place with 11 wins, 11 draws, 44 scored, 66 conceded, a GD of -22, and 44 points, which are really useful stats if you’re teaching your child its Eleven-Times Table (“One eleven is games won, Two elevens are our GD, Four elevens is goals scored ………………”) Maybe in part as a result of that, 15 players departed in the summer, twelve of whom I’ve never heard of, and the other three of whom have never even heard of themselves! They went to some weird and wonderful places (well, weird anyway), including Chesterfield, Boavista (is that a place?), Bratfud (I rest my case), Solihull, Northampton, Oxford, Hungerford, Leyton Orient, Linfield, Farnborough and Kolkata (who play in the 85,000-seater Salt Lake Stadium in the IPL and are managed by Teddy Sheringham )………. Of the players who left, EIGHT were MFs, and seven of those were CMFs, which is an entirely different way of parking the bus ….

They brought in 12, which group included two that they paid for (Pail Mullin from Morecambe and GK Reice Charles-Cook from Coventry (who will vie for the gloves with Chilean Lawrence Vigoroux, whose name translates - according to my "Chilean Phrases For Idiots" book - as “Vigorous Lawrence”, about which I have no further comment …….. also newly-joined are ex-Shrews CB Olly Lancashire, ex-Pompey and Stanley CMF Amine Linganzi, Ben Purkiss (a RB From Portly), CB Matt Preston from Walsall, CM Matt Taylor from the Cobblers, RB Kyle Knoyle (no, seriously) from the ‘Ammers, two or three more (but I’m getting bored now), and Wigan FW Kaiyne Woolery, for whom they paid £350k, apparently, and – since he’s scored twice in 22 games incl sub appearances – who might arguably be said to have been overpriced …….

In 1992/3 they were in the Premier League; in 2005/06 they were relegated to League Two, making them the first (but not now the only) ex-Premiership side to play in the fourth tier in its present form; their Asst Manager is Ben Futcher (remember him?); their second-best ever win was 10-1 in 1925/26 against Farnham United Breweries FC (!?), and for 3 years from 1880 they were known as “Spartans” …………. Leading goal scorer is Luke Norris with 8; because we’ve rather forgotten where the goal is in the last few weeks, Billy Whizz is now 6th overall (still with 10), behind Danny Hylton (Luton, 12), four on 11 including Christian Doidge of The Vegans, and You Fat Bastard (also on 10, but credited with one more assist than Billy is) …………… We met in the League in 2006/07, drawing 1-1 at home and losing 2-0 away, and again in 2011/12, when we lost both games 2-0 …………… P4 D1 L3 GF1 GA7 Pts1 (= pants!)

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm – shortly after sunrise round our way most days! – on Saturday 9th December …………….. soon be Christmas!

Good luck to everyone! …………….. Keep the Faith! ……… And thanks for playing!