[Div3North]

Accrington Stanley

V

Exeter City

2017/18 Prediction League; Game 42 v Exeter (home)

Everyone knows the maths; we have, currently, 83 points with 6 to play (the Grecians (4th) and Yeovil (16th) at home, Wycombe (3rd) and Newport (13th) away, Lincoln (6th) at home and Swindon (9th) away ............ ignoring Luton and Wycombe for the time being, of the followers Swindon (9th) and 8th-placed Mansfield – whose bubble has burst big time – can only reach 76 points; Coventry (7th) can reach 80 points, Lincoln (6th) can get 85, Notts Co (5th) can only get 82 and Exeter (4th) can reach 87 ................ so only Exeter or Lincoln could get more points by winning all their remaining games than we have already ......... and if we beat Exeter, we’ll have 86 (so Lincoln can’t catch us) and Exeter will only have a maximum possible figure then of 84 ..................... so we would (make that “we will”) be promoted automatically. It’s a bit scary, innit? “Football League Division One – Accrington Stanley 6 Sunderland 1” ................... I can just hear the voice of the late-lamented James Alexander Gordon reading that one out at 5.00pm on a Saturday ................

This week’s starter for 10 is adapted from a stat that Exile sent me on Thursday; of the last six Lancastrian meetings between Stanley and Exeter, how many have Stanley won? And what are the respective goal tallies? (Exile did it over 9 games, but I use 11v11 for head-to-head, and they only go back to 2009) ................The answer is two, and in those six games we’ve scored 11 and they’ve scored 14 ................ going backwards through the years, the games have ended 1-2, 4-2, 2-3, 2-3,0-3 and 2-1 .............averaging 4.16 goals per game (you can only score 0.16 goals if you use VAR (a system which Alan Shearer called “a shambles”); that makes Exeter a bit of a Boogie Team for us (Boogie? Bogey? Which one is kids sticking their fingers up their noses?) ................. that’s “boogie” as in “oh boogie it!”. To make matters worse, they did us 2-0 at their place back in late November (they lost the two before and the one after, naturally) ..........and if we go back over the last nine games played at Accie, as Exile did, then it’s even worse, because Exeter have shafted us six time in nine, and we’ve had 2 wins and a draw ...........which is not what you want!

They started on a flyer, winning 7 of their first eight and drawing the other (Swindon (away) in a half-Desmond); from mid October to the New Year they won 3, drew 1 and lost 6 out of ten; out of their last 8 they’ve won 4, drawn 2 and lost 2 ................ strong at home, on the road they’re a deal more fragile – nine defeats away from St James’s, many to the mid-table teams (only Coventry (2-0), Luton (1-0 – the only team to have done the double this season over them) and Lincoln (3-2) out of the Top Lot have won in Devon .......overall P41 W22 D6 L13 GF57 GA47 Pts 72 and 4th place; over the last five games they’re 3rd-best of the top 7 (we’ve taken 15/15, Lincoln 13, Exeter 12, Wycombe 11, Luton 10, Coventry 7 and Notts Co (who apparently want to sign Joey Barton when his ban, or prison sentence, or whatever he’s on this week, ends; why would you want to do that?) have a mere 5 .............................. and watch out in the last 10 minutes, by the way – they beat Cambridge last time out with goals in the 84th and 87th minutes, Cheltenham in the game before that with an 81st minute winner, and got their third in a 3-1 win over Swindon two games before that on 87 (although Lincoln bit them on the bum in between with an 86th-minute winner at Sincil Bank – Lincoln being one of the few teams who haven’t changed grounds, thus forcing me to look the new ground’s name up because I know the names of the Old Grounds, like Pride Park, Layer Cake Road, Plough Lane undsoweiter)

They did very well in the FA Cup against Heybridge Swifts, winning 3-1, slightly well against Vegan Greenpeace in Round 2 (2-1 at home after a DesmondAndAHalf away), and not well at all against the SaggyBaggieThrostles at home in Round 3, losing 0-2; the EFL Cup lasted one round (1-2 at home to Charlton), and the EFLTroffy gave them 3-1 home defeats by Yeovil and Chelsea u7s, and a “losing penalty” point away at Plymouth (3-5 on pens after a ProperDesmond)

In the Transfer Window they ProperSigned no-one, let Toby Down (I know his brothers, Bob, Neil and Duck!) go to Taunton for free and Reuben Reid go to Vegan Greenpeace for £Undisclosed, let several people you’ll never have heard of go to places you’ll never have visited, and LoanSigned Goalkeeper Paul Jones (Manfred Mann must have disbanded, I assume) from Norwich and striker Ryan Loft from Spurs ..........

Their leading scorer is Jayden Stockley (once on loan with us) with 15; Reuben Reid has 10, but some of those are at The Quorn Farm (they got naming rights for Vegan Greenpeace’s ground – not) so don’t count ............. Billy Whizz, if you haven’t kept up, is still Top of the ScorerBoard with 22 – 2 more than Mohammed Eisa, and three ahead of Danny Hylton and James Collins (19); You Fat Bastard has 17 ...............

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm on Saturday 14th April ...................... and if it doesn’t go right – which I doubt - we’ll do it all over again on Tuesday by doing it all over Yeovil, who are 10 points clear of trouble with six to play, and who’ve taken four points of Exeter in the League and put them out of the EFLTroffy, and are therefore officially Exeter’s BoogieNights team too

On Stanley! I want to see the Posh Teams’ Players flinch in fear at the state of our loos! I want them rushing for their team coach after a Right Pasting at the Wham – and I don’t mean wallpaper! I want to see us promoted! I want everyone to Keep The Faith! I wanna hear “Temptation”.

Good luck to everyone! .................. This is Our Moment! ................ And thanks for playing!