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Old 27-01-2019, 23:47   #1
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2018/19 Prediction League; Game 29 v Gillingham (away)



Accrington Stanley

2018/19 Prediction League; Game 29 v Gillingham (away)

Be sure that the Voodoo Gods of Football will always get you in the end! And on Saturday they Got that Nice Mr Evans (that’ll teach you to beat us 4-0 on 29th December! Mwahahahahahaha); he was “Released from his Contract With Immediate Effect” – which, I have to say, sounds awfully like being sacked – for the crime of Drawing 0-0 With Charlton and Thus Remaining In 6th Place In The Table ..................... makes you wonder what the heck they’d have done to him if they’d lost, or been in 10th place! “Something lingering, with boiling oil in it, I fancy” (whose line, and from what stage show, is that?) .........................and who replaces that Nice Mr Evans? Our Alex’s Lad, that’s who – back for a third shot at getting it right (but only until the end of the season, I rather think) ............... Some local journalist called the Owner “trigger happy”; hard to argue with that as an assessment!

So; the Cup dream is over for this season ................. been a funny old month, really ........... we have scored (although you could be excused for not recalling the fact) – two against Bury in the EFLTroffy (but they scored 4) and one against Nipswitch in the ProperCup – but we didn’t manage to do it often enough, or in any great quantity; nil against Southend away before Christmas (“Happy Xmas’ing” them 3); nil against the Posh (who helped themselves to 4); nil at Bratfud, who got 3 but are STILL 23rd, 3 points from safety, and with the joint third-worst GD in the Division: nil at Charlton (who scored a late, late penalty after our Secret Weapon Jonny Maxted had been wrongly ID’d and sent off for not doing anything wrong = WE WUZ ROBBED!), followed by Sam Finley being given a five-game ban and the club being given an FA misconduct charge, and nil against the Rams, with Dan Barlaser red-carded where many wouldn’t have been, the new lad (welcome Paul Smyth) cynically and profitably fouled when through on goal (the penalty for doing that needs to go up – “Taking one for the team”? I don’t think so – try the word “cheating” for size!) and Coley’s Monumental Rant (which was, to be fair, one of the Ace-est Rants Of All Time); hope the social media contrition brings the fine down Coley, but it’s Get Your Cheque Book Out Time ...................... Or should we crowd-fund him? Now there’s a thought! Anyone?

Currently we’re 15th; P27 W9 D8 L10 GF27 GA36 for 35 points, two behind the OldIron (“Any OldIron, any OldIron, Any, Any, Any OldIron”) and Burton (who’ve played 3 and 2 more games than us respectively), 3 plus some goals (13) behind Southend (as regards whom we have 2 in hand), and 4 plus some goals behind Coventry and Fleetwood (11th and 10th) with three games in hand over them both ................. trouble with games in hand is that you have to get something out of them; our record over our last ten games isn’t thrilling, to be honest - we’ve won two (Plymouth and Shrewsbury), drawn one (Coventry) and lost seven, scoring six and conceding seventeen ........ currently we’re in the Numpty League places, but not the brown and niffy; Rochdale are Chief Numpties, with one point from 15; they’re also in 20th place with 31 points, one above Oxford and Brizzle but with two games more in the “played” column than them, and the worst GD in the League (-25, with 36 scored and 61 conceded); they also have 15 defeats (as have Gillingham and Plymouth), better only than the bottom two (Wombles with 18 and Bratfud with 17). Next Best Numpties are the Wombles (2/15), who are 24th of 24, five points behind the 23rd placed Bantams, and 8 points from safety, Shrewsbury (3 draws and two losses from five), and then it’s Oxford, Coventry, Walsall and Us, each with 4/15

Looking back, no side has ever been relegated from League One in its present format with more than 51 points, and only one side in 21st place has gone down with 51 (Torquay in 2004/05); of the 14 seasons, one side in 21st place went down with 43 (Wycombe), one with 51 (above), and all the rest of the “Nearly Saved Ourselves But We Ran Out Of Games” teams had 46, 47, 48, 49 or 50 points (actually, four sides have slid down the Greasy Pole of Oblivion (League One Model) on 50 points ................ Starter for ten, then; there have been 14 teams relegated while occupying 21st place in League One; but how many different clubs have been relegated in 21st place since League One began in 2004/05?

Their dealings in the Transfer and Loan markets since last summer have been very much like Flanders and Swann’s “Slow Train” ................ “No one departs, No one arrives, From Selby to Goole, From St Erth to ...........”; where? No transfers or Loans In; two transfers out (CB Finn O’Mara – guess what nationality he is? – to Folkstone Invicta and CF Conor Wilkinson to the Daggers, where he’s been on loan since last November); lots of loans out, but all to non-League ..................

The sort of good news is that the Gills are below us in the League; home form is W4 D2 L8 GF20 GA26; away, it’s W5 D2 L7 GF19 GA22; overall, P28 W9 D4 L15 GF39 GA48, for 31 points and 19th place; their last six games show two wins and four defeats, but curiously they’ve beaten Pompey twice, 2-0 each time .............. Pompey off the top, of course, while making heavy weather of their 4th Round game (a half-Desmond at home to QPR), replaced temporarily by the Luton Louts, but although they’ve lost three of the last five, Pompey are two points behind but have a game in hand .............. Gillingham were rather humbled at Swansea in the FA Cup Fourth Round on Saturday (1-4); they went out of the EFL Cup to Millwall on pens after a goalless Desmond in Round One; and they didn’t progress from the EFLTroffy group, possibly because they lost two of their three group games by 4-0 (away at Pompey, and at home to Spurs u11s) ........... 39 goals scored in the League, and nine more in their Cup forays; 48 goals in 37 games in all; leading scorers are Tom Eaves (15 – that’s goals, not his age, by the way), Elliot List with 6 and Callum Reilly with 5

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 7.45pm on Tuesday 29th January; we really do need to start scoring a few, and picking up some points (16 as an absolute minimum, if the stats stay the same and the VGofF don’t decide to punish us for some imagined misdemeanour) .............. Can we do it? Can we build it? YES WE CAN! So let’s do just that!

Oh – and the line about “something lingering, with boiling oil in it, I fancy” is the Mikado’s line to Katisha from G & S’s show of the same name (it’s the “punishment for compassing the death of the Heir Apparent”, seemingly); and the 14 sides relegated from 21st position in League One have all been different, so no club has slid the Greasy Pole twice from that exact spot .....And the slow train from St Erth ran to St Ives ….. but you all knew that!

Blackpool on Saturday! Whooppee!

Good luck to everyone! ............... Keep the Faith! ............ Don’t be a Lidl, be a Waitrose! (if you can afford their prices!) ................. And thanks for playing!

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