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There was once a guy in the army, his officer didn't like him and kept trying to get him on a charge. One time the officer was stood in front of him goading him, trying to get him to say something so he could get him in trouble.
The bloke said, 'excuse me sir, if I was to call you a clunt would you put me on a charge?
Yes replied the officer.
'And sir, if I was to think you were a clunt could you put me on a charge'?

Of course not, said the officer a man can't be charged for his thoughts.

'In that case sir, I THINK you are a clunt'!