Evening Chronicle Football Pink
Edition One
It occurred to me that since the Stanley haven’t got a game until – at earliest – Saturday week, in the Cup at the Trannies, or a League game until The Cobblers on 14th November, and so we can’t watch them, or even follow the teleprinter a Saturday afternoon on Auntie Beeb, or “I’dWatchThe GameOnIFollowIfICouldMakeThe PiggingThingWork”, or failing that,
James Alexander Gordon at 5.00pm on Grandstand, it might be a good time to cast an eye around the footie world more widely for a couple of weeks instead ..........
The title (if you were brought up in Manchester like I was, c 1957 – 1972, you’d know it at once) comes from one of the two Saturday evening papers they published – often from presses in the back of Paper Vans parked by the grounds ........... The M/c Evening Chronicle published the Football Pink (red-top sized – well, pink-top sized) while the Evening News was a green broadsheet; they cost 3d, if I remember, same as a programme in the late 50s (and who else cut out the tokens from said programme which would qualify you for a Cup Match ticket?)....the Pink was first published around 1904, and Pink and Green merged when the Chronicle and the News merged, producing a paper which was then the Football Mucky Brown, and therefore illegible; by 1970 it was the Football White, but I gave it up before then anyway............ Most of the scores you wanted to see were in the stop press down the side of the front page – the late kick-offs (which was 3.05 or later) or the games that overran, and the only thing on P3 was reports of matches, although through printing deadlines they never managed to report anything that happened in the second half .......... and games kicked off at 3.00pm, and the half time was 10 minutes in those days, to include Bovril and a pie (if you were flush)
We had a paper shop (they hadn’t invented Newsagents then) at the end of our road, and at 5.50pm – if I wasn’t at the match - I’d run to the shop (passing and trapping my tennis ball against the garden walls as I ran) ............ and
Charles Buchan’s Football Monthly, which I’ve mentioned a few times before, was 1/6 (I think?) from the shop by the Swimming Baths .................. so – for those missing All Things Football – here’s Issue One of my fromage to the .......... no, hang on, that’s cheese ....... my homage to the football reports and discussions of my youth, but applied to the football of today (except Le Ligue de sandwichs aux crevettes).....
FA Cup Round One
(by Our FA Cup Correspondent)
Anyone know how many former FA Cup Winners are in Round One this season? Answer is .......... Nine! Blackpool (1953), Bradford (1911, after a replay), Bolton (1923, 1926, 1929 and 1958, when
Lofty Nathouse “bundled”
Harry Gregg – who later made a career out of selling sausage rolls on Retail Parks – into the net from 30 yards out), Charlton (1947), Ipswich (1978), Pompey (1939 and 2008), Sunderland (1973), Wigan (2013) and Wimbledon (the PhoneyWombles version, sort of, goal by
Lawrie Sanchez) in 1988
Some brilliant games drawn out of the hat by
Whoever and the Woman last Monday ............
Marina – the brassy blonde from Last of the Summer Wine – is on her way to take on the Eleven Good Men and True of Colchester United single handed (and I bet she could!); Exeter v AFC Fylde; Tonbridge Angels v Bratfud (“Come on you Angels!”); Wigan v Charley; Maldon & Tiptree v Morecambe (they could sell Commemorative Shrimp Jam); Eastbourne v Blackpool (“Come on your Seasiders”); Harrogate Town v Skelmersdale Council Estates – once Skelmersdale Wesleyans; (Skem – who beat Portsmouth Rovers in the Final of the Lancashire Junior Shield in 1908 (who the hell moved Portsmouth?) were last in the FA Cup proper in 1971/72, losing 4-0 at home to ............ Tranmere!) ........ Then there’s Donnie at FC United of M/c; Scunnie v Solihull NoMoors; Hampton and Richmond v Oldham ( all together, “On the day that
Good King Harry got his Hampton Court”); King’s Lynn at Portly Vale; and Avast and Waterlooville v Cray Valley Paper Mills FC ........... tie of the round might be Ipswich v Pompey, or Bolton v Crewe ......... I can see several cricket scores in that lot; any predictions for Biggest Win, and Most Goats in a Game? Or if that’s too hard, most Goals in a Game?
The FA Competition Rules are a scream, if you read them; for example, in these days of the Multiple Ball System – you know, kick it over the stand and someone will throw a new ball on the pitch - how many balls are allowed to be used in the First Round? (One) .............. and what does the home team have to supply to the Away Club and the Referee? You might think “a cup of tea at half time”, but actually, it’s “a DVD of the match in its entirety with an uninterrupted view” ........ and if an un-used sub then joins another club on loan or transfer, can he then play for the new club in a subsequent round? (Yes) .................. and if the game goes into extra time and you haven’t put a sub on the pitch, how many can you put on in the extra 30 minutes? (Four – you get an extra one in ET .... and no,
ET isn’t one of your subs)
And hands up if you didn’t watch or read the draw and say “Not again!” when you saw who we’d got? Liar! Since we got back in the League we’ve played them in the FA Cup in 2008/9 (0-0 at home, 0-1 away) and 2013/14 (0-1 at home), but against that we’ve also made Round 4 – I think – three times ........... it might be a bit of a banana-skin game, but there’s loads more that are a barrel of scrumpy by comparison
EFL League Two
(by Our League Deux Co-respondent)
AF – After Fleetwoof – we were 7th, with 12 points from our 7 games played, and the highest-placed team with a –GD; Hull were top on 18, Ipswich and Lincoln next on 16, and the bottom four were Wigan (6 pts), MKDonuts (5), Blackpool (4) and Burton (4) ............ the two games in between saw Lincoln move top on 22 pts (1-0 v Ipswich and 1-0 at Crewe), Hull are now second (losing 1-2 to Posh and beating Brizzle 3-1 away) and Ipswich ahead of Posh in third ............. we’re 12th, but we have one or two games in hand on everyone except Swinedon ............. and the bottom four are now the Pointy-Nosed Furry things, Swinedon, Oxford and Burton, all with 6 points (although Burton have played nine and Shrewsbury 8), ordered by GD, which goes -3, -4, -6 and -7 ............ Everybody’s lost, everybody’s won, and only Hell, Swinedon and us haven’t drawn yet (unless they’ve dashed off a few still lifes in lockdown) Form teams are The Posh and Charlton, each with 13 points from their last 5 games, followed by Pompey on 12, and Lincoln, Floatwood and Brizzle on 10 .............. Right Out of Form are Wigan (1 point in 5 games), while Burton, Swindon and the Cobblers have 3 from 5)
The Sack Race
(by Our Sack Race Correspondence)
Not many managers been cashiered yet this season – few broken swords and ripped-off epaulettes – but
Graham Alexander got the Big E from SalfordMoneyBags, and
Graham Coughlan (4 wins in 27) probably now rues leaving Brizzle after 12 months for the Stags, who impaled him on Tuesday ..... BetVictor, working from a short list of 48 (no, it’s true) have
Paul Heckingbottom as 7/4 favourite as the next Imperator at Field Mill, with
Gary Caldwell (lately at Patrick Throstle) on 7/2,
Cloughie Junior at 9/2,
David Flitcroft - who only left Mansfield in May 19 – on 6-1, and
Paul Cook on 10s; as far as
Gary Neville’s Red and White Ammies go (and before The Takeover they wore orange and black, did you know?)
Mr Patrick Power’s list is 25 in number – including
John Coleman @ 33-1, both
Nevilles (no, not
Tracey), R
oy Keane, Mark Hughes, Paul Scholes, Ryan Giggs, Sam Allardyce, Keith Hill, Nigel Adkins, That Nice Mr Evans, Danny Cowley, Ole Gunnar Solskaer and – I kid you not –
Sir Alex Ferguson @ 20-1 ..... favourite, though, is Swindon’s
Richie Wellens (odds on with all three bookies), with
Paul Cook second (7/4) and
Warren Joyce third (4-1)
Our Mates in the Bananarama
(by Our BananaArmour Corresponding)
Top of the Bananarama reads “Torquay (one defeat, 2-1 at the Spitfires), Stockpot (one defeat, 1-0 at Torquay), Sutton, Hartlepool” (there are 11 former League sides in there, ignoring Phoenix teams and the like) ..... bottom are Altrincham – who I used to follow some decades ago – but they’ve only played four games; no wins for them, none for Yeovil; only undefeated side is Hartlepuddle; also in the brown and niffy are Chesterfield and King’s Lynn (shouldn’t that be “Lynn’s Queen”?)
North Bananarama table (and they’ve got 9 former League teams) has Gloucester top (3 games, 9 points, +8 GD), AFC Fylde also with 9 points from 3 but second on GD (+3), Chester (9 points from 4 games), and also features Boston and Southport in the play-off places) ......... Chorley went straight from being bottom of National League National, to being bottom of NL North – P4 L4 GF2 GA8 Pts 0 (and Leamington and Darlington are keeping up with them nicely, also with nul points, but only lost two each ............. Maybe
Erico can change their fortunes ..... and Blyth Spartans have conceded 14 in 4 games, so maybe not so Blyth, eh? Innit!
League Two
(by ........... no idea who!)
Newport top (W7 D1 L1), two points clear of Cambridge, and four from Vegan Greenpeace; Harrogate 8th, Mansfield (P9 D5 L4) are 22nd, The Iron are 23rd and Sarfend – who obviously had a Lucky Win on the Dogs (or banked where
Ken Dodd used to bank), because they just paid off almost £500k to the
TaxMan overnight – are plumb last; two draws, seven defeats ............
The Highland League hasn’t started yet, so for the record, Fort William (should that be Fort
WilliamandCatherine?) are still joint top with everyone else ......
Starters for ten
(no guesses who this is by!)
1. What is unique about
Chloe Kelly playing for Man City Women in the 2019/20 Cup Final, scheduled for this Sunday, 1st November?
2. Which team in the Scottish League (ie the “proper” League, not Highland, Lowland or Middle Land) finally relinquished their amateur status last season, having been in the SFL for many years?
And sad to learn of the death of
Nobby Stiles MBE, announced today at the age of 78, he having been ill with both prostate cancer and dementia for a long time; I doubt any of you have ever seen a player with a bigger heart than he had – so thanks for the memories
Nobby, and thanks for the World Cup, and Rest in Peace.
And
Chloe Kelly played for Everton in the first two rounds of the Womens’ FA Cup (which took place earlier in the year), and then transferred to Man City, for whom she played the last three rounds; because it’s last season’s cup, but the later rounds are in this season, she can try to beat the team which she helped to get to the Final by playing for the other finalists ............ who she also helped to get to the Final!
And the “No Longer Amateur” Scottish side are League Two Queen’s Park; they’re the oldest football club in Scotland, founded in 1867; they’re the only Scottish FC to have played in the English FA Cup Final (1884 and 1885); their home ground is Hampden Park in Glasgow; and the Club motto was/still is
“Ludere Causa Ludendi” – To Play for the Sake of Playing”
Doesn’t get a lot better than that!
Stay safe, keep well, until we meet again (which might be next week if anybody reads this week’s issue!
Cheers
