[Div3North]

Sheffield Wednesday

v

Accrington Stanley FC

2021/22 Prediction League Game 23; v Les Harfangs des Neiges


What a clever marketing ploy, I thought - playing Wednesday on a Wednesday ... limitless opportunities, of course; on Saturday we'll be playing Cambridge Saturday (away), and next Tuesday we play Donnie Tuesday (brother of Ruby Tuesday - who remembers Melanie's version rather than the Stones's?) ... or maybe not

Have you ever wanted to be a football commentator or summariser on the tele? Fancied yourself as the next Wolstenholme, or Motty, or sitting in Big Ron's seat pontificating (isn't that discussing bridges?) ... And who said, "I never comment on Referees, and I'm not about to change the habit of a lifetime for that prat"? (It was Big Ron, if you didn't know)

But how do they learn all the names and draw them out of the memory banks in an instant? How do they avoid going, "Err ... thingamajig's got the ball on the far side, and he chips it towards whassisname in the corner who crosses it to the head of whassecalled, and it's a GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLL" ... and then, what about the difficult or sensitive names, or the unpronounceable ones, or especially the foreign ones that come out rude in English?

The question someone asked was, "Has a footballer’s name ever been deemed too offensive to broadcast?" (not that I know of).... and then there was the supplementary: “Have any players or team names ever been refused to be broadcast in another country as it would translate to an obscenity or offensive term?”

For much of his career, Stefan Kuntz wasn’t a problem for TV stations in the UK because he played mostly in the Bundesliga in the 80s and 90s when their games weren’t shown on British TV. However, when he was selected in Germany’s Euro 96 squad, those matches were very much being shown in the UK. Commentators generally plumped for referring to him as Stefan Kunz – strategically leaving out the letter ‘t’..... And there was John Toshack, when managing Beşiktaş, who found himself the source of amusement when referred to as ‘Taşak’ – which sounds suspiciously like his name, but which actually is the Turkish word for 'testicle': that might, of course, be a load of b*ll*cks

Top of the list, though, was a neat bit of profanity-swerving in Portugal: broadcasters there had some trouble with Austria’s manager, Franco Foda, whose surname ("Foda") is Portuguese for ‘f*ck’. Throughout decades of his career, Portuguese broadcasters contorted his name into all sorts of unnatural positions – Foo-da, Fo-day, etc – to avoid offending listeners. In the Euros, the announcer gave up and conceded: ‘We’ll just call him Franco, OK?’

Good idea! And as a Brucie-bonus, you've all just learned how to say "f*ck" in Portuguese .....

I started the original draft of this thread, of course, for the post-ponied game in December gone, and recorded then my award of a Gold Star For Being A Plonker to Paraguayan GK Jean Fernandes who, playing in a Cup Final for Cerro Porteno against Olympia, was red-carded before the game kicked off .... having put his rosary inside his left-hand post (as you do) he stood up and made a 'provocative' "cut-throat" gesture towards the rival fans ...... the Ref wasn't having any of his claim that it was "a Brazilian funk music gesture called a 'vapo' " which in his homeland is used by footballers as a celebration". Not only did his team lose 3-1, but - he was on loan at Cerro Porteno with a view to them signing him - that prospect may now be sailing down the Amazon without a Satnav ................ (my satnav once instructed me, on the Isle of Man, "At the roundabout, take the first exit, then catch the ferry" ...............Couldn't make it up, could you?)

And on the topic of 'Celebration Time', lets hear it for the international team who broke their 21-year duck by winning a Qualifier for the Qatar World Cup recently, beating their opponents 4-0............ Their national championship isn't completed every season, and their homeland was hit by huge destruction when the local volcano fired off a few years ago, so facilities aren't thrilling ............. their League has (or may have, or has had) somewhere between five and ten teams in it across the years, including Jolly Roger FC, Little Bay, the Seventh Day Adventist Trendsetters (like that one!), a team called Volcano Observatory Tremors, and the local Police Force ............ so with all those clues, your Starter for Ten; which National Team broke their World Cup Duck ("Quack!") with a 'confident 4-0 victory', and who manages their National Team - known as the Emerald Boys?

And I wished - and still do - a long and happy retirement - much too early - to Sergio Aguero, undoubted star of Man City and goal scorer extraordinaire: 4th-highest scorer in the Prawn Sandwiches, with 184 goals in 275 games, including twelve hat-tricks (wonder where he keeps his balls?), 20+ in a season 12 times from 13, and a goal in the PremLeague every 108 minutes .......... but - bit of trivia, and second Starter for Ten - how many different teams did he score against in his career?

The Owls have won four league titles (1902/03 - one point ahead of Villa and Sunderland, 1903/04 - three points ahead of Man City, 1928/29 - a point above Leicester and two above Villa, and 1929/30 - ten points above Derby), three FA Cups (1895/96, as "The Wednesday", when they beat "The Wolves" 2-1, all three goals being scored in the first 18 minutes), 1906/07 (when "The Wednesday" beat Everton 2-1 (none f the goals coming in the first 18 minutes) and 1934/35 (when Sheffield Wednesday beat the Baggies 4-2), one League Cup (1990/91) and one FA Community Shield. They've also competed in UEFA cup competitions on four occasions, reaching the quarter-finals of the Inter-Cities Fairs Cup in 1963. In 1991, they defeated Manchester United 1–0 in the Football League Cup Final as a tier 2 team, and they remain the last team to win one of English football's major trophies while outside the top flight. They became Sheffield Wednesday (to distinguish them from all Other Wednesdays ..... or Happy Mondays ....) in 1929 ..... and did you see that Slumberland have appointed Alex Neil to the electric chair .... sorry, Manager's Chair?

Wednesday's biggest-ever win was a 12–0 home victory over Halliwell (who they hell are they?) in the first round of the FA Cup on 18 January 1891: their biggest league win - also at home - was against Birmingham in Division 1 on 13 December 1930 (Wednesday won 9–1). The heaviest defeat was away against Aston Villa in a Division 1 match on 5 October 1912 which Wednesday lost 10–0. The most goals scored by the club in a season was 106 scored, in the 1958–59 season. Their highest league points total was in the 2011–12 season when they racked up 93 points.

Also relevant: the fastest sending off in British league football was held by Sheffield Wednesday goalkeeper Kevin Pressman, who was sent off after just 13 seconds for handling a shot from Wolves' Temuri Ketsbaia outside the area during the opening weekend of 2000. Not sure if that's still the record for a GK

And, from "Trivia Corner": the fastest shot ever recorded in the Premier League was by David Hirst against Arsenal at Highbury in September, 1996 recorded at 114mph .......... it hit the bar!

In the Window they LoanSigned CB Jordan Storey from PNE, Arsenal forward Tyreece John-Jules, and Harlee Dean from Brum (another CB) ... The only permanent departure was Korede Adedoyin, who we bought for £unknown

Their first four games of the season had them top of the League - three wins, one draw, 10 points and no goals conceded ..... they recently bettered that, winning four out of four (home to Ipswich, Morecambe and Wigan, and away at Burton - again, without conceding ...... stats say they should have done Rotherham on Sunday but didn't ......... at home, W9 D4 L2 (Oxford 2-1 and Rotherham) GF23 GA12, and away W5 D6 L5 GF19 GA22 for a total of P31 W14 D10 L7 GF42 GA34 for 52 points and 8th place ......... if they'd won half the drawn games they'd be on 62 pts, and 2nd .......... They made the First Round of the FA Cup, losing 3-0 in a replay to Plywood, lasted until the First Round of the EFL Cup too, losing 4-2 on pens to Huddersfield after a goalless Desmond, and topped their Group in the Troffy before Hartlepool did them over 3-0 at Hillsborough ... Leading scorer is Lee Gregory with 8

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 7.45pm on Wednesday 16th February ....... Head to head - if you discount the games against them played by Accrington in 1890 (FA Cup - 2-1 to them) and 1892 (a 5-2 defeat at theirs (which was Olive Grove, not Hillsborough - they only went there in 1899), and a 4-2 revenge win two weeks later) consists of the one game on 20th November 2021 at the Wham, when they got three goals in ten minutes, leaving us to try and claw something back, which we nearly did (goals by Lewis Mansell (33) and Joel Mumbongo (53) getting us close at 2-3, but not close enough) ......... we've never been to Hillsborough that I can see, so let's make it a perfect away record when we do!

And the triumphant 4-0 victors World Cup Qualifier Winners were from the Island of Monserrat in the Caribbean (population less than 5,000), currently managed by ex Man City and Scotland LB Willie Donachie, who beat the US Virgin Islands 4-0 ........... and Sergio Aguero scored, in all, against 128 different sides (although who counted that up I know not ............ needs to get out more ........... rather like Me ...... and probably Him, too)

Good luck to everyone! ............. Keep the Faith! ............ And thanks for playing!

COYR!