[Guinness]

Just watched an old clip on youtube of Walter Matthau telling this one..

3 old guys sitting in a care home bemoaning their youth.

1st guy says, 'damn I wish I could take a leak like I used to. Every morning I squeeze and strain just to get a bit of a dribble.

2nd guy says 'yeah, I'd love to take a proper plop like I used to. Every morning I squeeze and strain for half an hour just to get a couple of little plips.

3rd guy says 'every morning at 7.30am I take a leak, don't strain or squeeze, it gushes like niagara after a downpour, at 7.35am my backside erupts like Vesuvius without me needing to prompt it at all'

The other two, completely confused, look at him and say 'what the heck are you whining about?'

And the 3rd guy says 'I don't get up until 9.00am'