[Sparkologist]

I have taken legal advice before posting this joke. My brief said my defence should be, 'it's implied, and all in the mind!' before putting his head in a bucket of sand....


An Englishman was travelling through the southern states of America when he came across a rodeo. Having never seen one before, he decided to take a look. He went and stood by the arena wall and proceeded to watch the bull riding competition. Well, the bull was very angry and the cowboys not very good, not one of them could hang on for long. The best cowboy managed to sit astride his mount for eleven seconds before falling off and nearly being trampled to death. The Englishman turned to a fellow spectator and remarked that the standard of riding wasn't what he expected. The American next to him got the hump and said, ' that's the baddest bull in Texas. If you think you can do better, Limey, lets see you try!'
'That shouldn't be a problem', said the Englishman, casually.
As the Englishman sat astride the bull in the holding pen, the organisers snapped an elastic band around its b**** to make it extra mad. The pain was intense, and when the gates opened, it launched out into the arena. One second...two seconds... three seconds...four. The Englishman clung on for dear life, and the crowd started to warm to his efforts. Nine seconds...ten seconds... eleven, the record was broken and the crowd went wild and the Englishman grew more confident. With one hand on the rope, he doffed his hat to a young lady in the crowd. Still the bull was bucking and turning, thirty seconds went by and by now all the arena were on their feet. Fourtyfive seconds he rode for, before the bull collapsed, legs splayed out, in complete exhaustion. As he dismounted the steer, the American spectator came running into the arena. 'Yo Limey! Where'd you learn to hang on and ride like that?' he hollared.
'Quite easy,' said the Englishman, nonechelantly, 'my girlfriend's epileptic.'