There was a young woman from Ossy
Who was taken up to the hozzy
A lift she did cadge
With a woman called Madge
Whose left eye had gone gozzy
They got back from the hozzy quite late
They were both in a terrible state
And poor old Madge
Hadn't got a blue badge
So she'd had to pay for her wait.
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Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs, cackling and telling me
'You'll be next.' They stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
