2018/19 Prediction League; Game 1 v Gillingham (home)

Div3North · 02-08-2018, 01:33

Accrington Stanley

V

Gillingham FC

2018/19 Prediction League; Game 1 v Gillingham (home)

There’s really only one thing that you need to know about Gillingham, and that is that on 2nd October 2010 we beat them 7-4 – and I WAS THERE! On 28th January 2012 (Coley having left for Rochdale four days earlier, and Cook being two weeks away) we beat them 4-3 at home (Michael Smith hat-trick), and by season 2012/13 they were so concerned that we might carry on embarrassing them every year that they decided to win the League Two title and go up ................. and they’ve been up ever since!

Last season the Gills (that’s “Jills”, like the girl, not “Gills” like the fish) finished 17th with a season’s record of 13 wins, 17 draws and 16 defeats, 50 scored and that many plus 10% conceded – level on points with Donnie and Oxford, but behind them on GD (Donnie) and Goals Scored (Occie); only five sides scored fewer than 50 goals (and three of those were regulated down the Greasy Pole of Oblivion) but only seven sides conceded fewer, and six of those filled the Top Six places in the table; bit of a duck’s arse at both ends of the field, really – a double-ended Duck’s Arse to boot!

Founded in 1893 as New Brompton (to distinguish them from Old Brompton, which I think is a space on the Monopoly Board) Gillingham joined the Football League in 1920, but were kicked out at the end of 1937/38, not getting re-elected, and being replaced by Ipswich (see below, and starting to be a bit of a bête-noir); they got back in 1950 when 88 teams became 92, and eventually reached the Championship between 2000 and 2005 ............ Famous Managers include Len Ashurst, Keith Burkinshaw, Glen Roeder, Tony Pulis, The Hess (three times), Peter Taylor (twice), Mad Dog and now Steve Lovell; famous players include Ron Hillyard, with 665 games (good thing it wasn’t one more!), Steve Bruce (ex Man U), Brian Yeo, The Hess, Tony Cascarino, Tony Meccano, Tony MaraschinoCherry (ok, I made them up), Cody McDonald, Nyron Nosworthy (no I didn’t make that one up!), a Carpenter, a Bacon, a Butler and a Warsap ..............

This week’s starter for ten, then; the day we beat The Jills 7-4, there was another game in League Two which finished with double figures of goals? Who was it between, and who won it ?

They had a very strange pre-season this year; seven away games against non-League opposition (draws at Folkestone, Deal, Margate and Chatham, and wins at Tonbridge Angels 5-1 and at Bananarama sides Dover Athletic 3-0 and Eastleigh 4-0). They only played one League side (Colchester, last Saturday) and they lost 5-1: I wonder what that tells the Manager about how well prepared they are for the SeasonOpener at Fortress Wham? (Well I hope it’s still Fortress Wham with the Don having gone to Ipswich) ...... and I thought they were supposed to be after SpecialK ............... and Tractor Boys’ Manager Paul Hurst (who’s the ex Shrewsbury gaffer) has had a joint bid for Toto Nsiala and Jon Nolan (both at the Shrews) turned down, so now JonBoy and Tonto – sorry, Toto – have both put in transfer requests ............... I can feel a complaint for up-tapping coming!

They got rid of a Hessenthaler in the summer (not for the first time) when Andy’s lad Jake – a CMF - left and joined Grimsby; AMF Lee Martin moved to Exeter, Ben Nugent turned down a new contract in Kent for the fleshpots of Stevenage - Stupid Boy – and Scott Wagstaff, yet another MF (but this time a RMF), went A-Wombling ..................CF Greg Cundle, AMF Franck Moussa, DM Aaron Morris (how many MFs did they HAVE?) and CF Rhys Murphy all went to play for the DWP ...........

In came six in three days (but none since!); RBs Regan Charles-Cook and Barry Fuller (have you ever used his earth?) trundled in from Charlton and the Wombles respectfully (or do I mean respectively?); Charlton also provided striker Brandon Hanlon, and the aforementioned Wombles un-wombled themselves of CM Dean Parrett (can you be a parrot and a Womble at the same time?); Bromley furnished CM Josh Rees, and Bury allowed them to have CM Callum Reilly for a fee described as £undisclosed, but which I can exclusively reveal was paid in black puddings

They’ve got Millwall (away) in the EFL Cup, Crawley, Pompey and Spurs u12s in the EFLTroffy, and after us in the League they play Burton at home, Walsall away, and Sunderland and Coventry at home; two promoted sides, two relegated sides, and the Saddlers ................ and they might not get a shed-load of points from those five games, mayhap .................

So; here we are then ................. two days off our first-ever League One fixture, with the vultures circling for another week to decimate our squad if they can, and money in the kitty shortly to pay for new changing rooms (which should at least be named after the man who made us the money; I suggest “The Janoi Suite”) ............ in the past when players have moved on we often haven’t made enough to pay the milk bill, so things are better ............ and maybe crowds will be better .............. and maybe we’ll do very well indeed, because we’re frightened of No Buggar, ‘cos we’re The Stanley ................. and long may it stay that way!

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm on 4th August 2018; good luck to the team, the club, the Referee and his Mates (I suspect they’ll still feel the wrath of some of our better known correspondents and Referee Exterminators) and anyone and everyone who loves Stanley ............ and the answer to the starter for 10 is Chesterfield 5 Crewe 5 (so no-one won); and give a thought for my older granddaughter’s boyfriend, who’s on AFC Fylde’s Academy u15 squad, which had the effect that she watched more of the World Cup than I did; wonder what it’s like being the Granddad of a Premier League WAG?

Good luck to everyone! .......... Keep the Faith! ........ And thanks for playing!