Spug has got his new works uniform today... the only snag is (and this is in his own words hes dictating it) for them to sit right he would have to hang them from his nipples - im piercing em when he comes down.... he says they are 6 inches too long ... anyone got miracle gro?

Its a pain having short legs... Spug says anyone got a medieval rack where he can be stretched? He also says he's no padding for when hes on his bike.... His bum has shrunk he says its an anorexic backside (he said something else but i dont want to get banned) its all the exercise he gets cycling to and from work - all of 25 miles and on top of that his shopping trips ... i suggested botox or bum implants ...

This is going into the...

shillelagh

Before we went away Ma phoned the hotel to ask to be put in the dining room at a table waited on by David.....he had been our waiter on a couple of visits before......Mum had a real soft spot for him (her bed, I think)......he always made a fuss of her and he was easy on the eye...and delightfully young.
The last time we were at the hotel, David had just done his exams to enter the Royal Navy.
I suggested to Ma that perhaps he would have left by now...and that is why she rang up.
They told her he hadn't left yet.
On the first night down at dinner we were allocated a table that was waited on by a very pleasant(but ditzy) scots girl.
I could see Ma scanning the dining room for David. He was nowhere to be seen....

Margaret Pilkington

I was talking to Ma today.....we were saying what a lovely time we had last week......and wishing we were still on holiday...well, except that the Isle of Wight will be over run with pop music lovers......and both of us are a bit long in the tooth for shaking our booty.

Ma was saying that if we ever go again and it is in the season, we are going to get tickets for the Island Breezer...this will let us be more independent about where we want to go....and of course we will be able to stay in places of interest a little bit longer.
That is one of the problems (if you want to call it that) with coach tours......you sit all day on the coach and are given maybe an hour at places where you'd like to perhaps spend half a day....

Margaret Pilkington