Anything I want it to be
Day one -- It begins.
Posted 01-03-2005 at 07:31 by Acrylic-bob
I smoked my last cigarette at 10:30 last night. I cockily screwed up the empty packet and ceremonially cast it into the inky depths of the dustbin. I felt quite pleased with myself and marvellously empowered! I took a deep breath of clean night air and noticed Acrylic-Biff looking at me from the depths of the Rhododenron bush. This is a favorite place, what he gets up to in there I cannot imagine and prefer not to enquire, but if ever I cannot find him that is usually where he is. There was a quality of scepticism in the baleful glare he levelled at me. An unexpressed "Yeah, Right!" hung in the gelid air between us and for an instant I felt the solid wall of my resolve tremble a little.
Undaunted by the curr's misgivings I went to bed and slept the sleep of the righteous.
My first thought on awaking this morning was "FAGS!" And then a little alarm bell began ringing in the part of my brain which we inherit from our ancient reptillian ancestors. You know, the bit that wants either comfort food or sex and is gonna give you hell till it get's what it wants. My second thought was "I DON'T HAVE ANY ! ! !"
You do not know what the last hour and a half has been like, you cannot even begin to imagine the titanic struggle of wills that continues to be fought between the rational, sensible, grown up part of my brain and the screaming kicking spitting infant which sits at the heart of who I am. And that is before my body begins to notice that lack of Nicotine.
Oh God, what have I done!
Undaunted by the curr's misgivings I went to bed and slept the sleep of the righteous.
My first thought on awaking this morning was "FAGS!" And then a little alarm bell began ringing in the part of my brain which we inherit from our ancient reptillian ancestors. You know, the bit that wants either comfort food or sex and is gonna give you hell till it get's what it wants. My second thought was "I DON'T HAVE ANY ! ! !"
You do not know what the last hour and a half has been like, you cannot even begin to imagine the titanic struggle of wills that continues to be fought between the rational, sensible, grown up part of my brain and the screaming kicking spitting infant which sits at the heart of who I am. And that is before my body begins to notice that lack of Nicotine.
Oh God, what have I done!
Total Comments 2
Comments
-
Re: Day one -- It begins.
I knew it'd be good, can't imagine what you're going through as l've not tried to stop yet. Please keep writing it might help you take your mind off it. You should write a book, l'd be first in the que to get it signed.
garinda.Posted 01-03-2005 at 10:14 by garinda 
-
Re: Day one -- It begins.
Good for you A-B......keep up with that iron resolve.
I am going to watching for your progress reports.....keep 'em coming!Posted 01-03-2005 at 19:51 by Margaret Pilkington
