'The House of Cool'

You may wonder what could be so amazing about 'The House of Cool' for me to take time to write about it. Well the truth is that it doesn't exist, at least not to me.

It's a title one of my housemates has given to our house, even their girly mates have started referring to it as such. If only they new the truth. We are far far from cool. I myself am I totally devoted geek queen.

So let me tell you about my housemates. The first, the one who gave it the title, is a business studies student, half Iranian, thinks every single girl he comes across is hot, and I swear this is just a cover up for the fact he is blatantly camp. He boasts that he was once a model ('has been' comes to mind) and he plays on his laptop comstantly when he isn't sat in front of the telly. He has a ridiculously high pitched girlish laugh that goes right through me, and it seems to be loudest at night when I'm trying to sleep. His sense of humour involves lying. For example, the week before we moved into the house I was going to set up the internet, and he said its fine, its sorted and gave me a date and an internet provider. He hadn't sorted it out at all and we didn't have internet til week 1 of the second term. Very funny.

The second is on his laptop even more than him, playing world of warcraft day in day out. He has big hair that he gels into big flicks, his trousers are too tight and he collects samarai swords. He also claims to play guitar but in fact he only owns one, he cant play a single song all the way through. He's the only one of the lads who has a girlfriend. His lack of over the top is made up through her, she wakes me up around 3am every time she is over. Clearly she isn't used to the concept of closing doors and being quiet in the early hours. Overall, this is the best housemates. He has a habit of getting up early every morning and cleaning the kitchen. He's worth putting up with just for that.

The last but not least worse housemate, the rugby player. Rugby player behaviour doesn't normally need explaining, but to give you an idea the rugby team have a social event every wednesday which normally involves downing pints and bottles of red wine as fast as possible. His pint drinking record is 2 seconds, but he has been beaten to the title. Once he came home from one of these socials and ****ed on the stairs whilst stood stark naked. The second time he attempted to do this in the same night I managed to push all 18stone of him up the stairs into the bathroom where he ****ed all over the toilet seat. Is this cool? I think not. He is also the messiest dirtiest housemate in existance and nobody could possibly want to live with him wilingly. He studies philosophy (not through choice) so he talks crap constantly as well, and he clearly isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. I actually hate him.

I am a self confessed geek. I stay in, I study, I sit on the forums all day like I have nohing better to do. But I kid you not, this is certainly NOT the 'house of cool'. I feel like I am back at school in this house with their weird popularlity contests and their childish behaviour. Yes I have a lot of studying to do, and I shouldn't sit on accyweb all day, but I honestly think accyweb keeps me sane. Is that even possible?

I think I need to go on holiday with Britney. Where's she gone again?