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leahs last week

Posted 20-10-2006 at 16:41 by cherokee

Well its Wednesday morning and my dog leah of 14 years were booked into the vet to have her bladder checked for stones because over the past few weeks she has been struggling to hold herself for very long.So 8.30 in she goes and i was told to ring between 1pm and 1.30pm for an update .
Leah has also got epilepsy and has had breathing probs for a while now so I knew her health wasnt too good and the vet had also told me that she wasnt expecting to find any stones but she had to do the tests as a last resort,so i was kind of fearfully expecting what came next.
At 12.30 the phone rings and it was the vet , MRS ......
" yes " i replied
"I am ringing to let you know that we have completed leahs test,and im so sorry to to say ,but we have found a massive tumour on leahs bladder."
I froze.
"is there anything you can do?" I asked
"Unfortunately because of the size of the tumour there is nothing we can do im affraid , and although leah seems to be in very little pain at the moment it is only a matter of weeks maybe before she really starts to suffer with it"
"SO WHAT NOW " I ask desperate to hear something positive ,
"Well thats upto you mrs ...... she is still under the anasthetic and thats why im ringing you to see if you want me to bring her round "
OMG what a decision my mind goes blank ,i cant think straight , Ive had this pet for 14 years shes been loyal to me and the children as they were growing up ,what do i do ?
"Ok " crying by now
" I would like you to bring her out of the anasthetic please , I want to bring her home for a few days so we can all say goodbye properly to her "
" Ok then you can pick her up at 3pm"

3pm ... Back to the vets to bring her home , I had talked to my hubby and came to a decision to let her go next fri 27th oct
.well its now friday ,leah has one week left with us im not crying at the moment , just ensuring she is getting spoilt rotten , im going away for the weekend and my eldest two sons are having some time with her , I know when i return on tues im going to start to feel it . I just cant imagine not having her around ..Ive never lost a dog like this before and the emotions are horrific , I feel like ive been left with no choice but to name the day in which leah takes her final breath / Ihave asked the vet if i can hold in my arms while they put her to sleep and its ok , im not looking foward to it but i want to be with her.

Well its leahs last night with us and i must admit i feel totally cr@p..She has been absolutely spoilt rotten tonight ie chocs ,sweet stuff and even a cider with me ,but ive had to try and keep it as close to normal as poss if not for her sake ,mine .I have got a lot of comfort out of reading your comments guys and i thankyou from my heart. The kids are coping probably much better than i am ,but that is what i was hoping , Jim has been down to the allottment today and dug her grave which i hope he realises just how much i appreciate because i could never have done that. and totally out of the blue, a knock came to my door tonight and it were my ex husband (who were actually the one that went out to buy me a sewing machine 14 yrs ago and came back with leah ) He brought his old leather jacket round and asked if i would wrap it around leah when we buried her as it was the one he always wore whenever he took her for a walk . must admit it started me cryin again ..

Anyway i am going to get as much out of these last few hrs as i can , she is now led down here by my side as usual fast asleep but when we get up tomorrow we are goning down to the beach for a final walk . she is booked into the vets at 2pm

2PM FRIDAY 27TH OCT Well the dreaded time has arrived Jim and myself arrived at the vets with leah , it took 3 attempts for me to enter the building, finally I went in and sat in the waiting room jim reassuring me that what i was doing were all for the right reasons . I was hoping they would have me waiting to long as the room started to fill up with people and i were finding it difficult holding back tears .. Thankfully 5 mins passed and the vet called us through , my heart was now thumping and i wasnt even sure now if i could go through with it..
I walked into the vets room and she started to explain to me just what was about to happen , I picked leah up and sat her on the table and the vet asked if she could muzzle her but both Jim and I refused ,there was no way i could have allowed that and told the vet if she was going to bite anyone then it would be me . I wrapped my arms all the way around her and brought her so close to me all the time I was talking to her telling her I loved her , then within seconds I could feel her relaxing in my arms I knew that was it I layed her on the table while the vet listened to her heart and confirmed she had gone . I broke down and couldnt hold the tears back anymore . the vet and her assistant left us alone with her for a few mins . Jim wrapped her blanket round her and i put a rose between her front legs and then he carried her to the car and wrapped my ex husbands old leather jacket around her .

Jim then took me home and went on to bury leah on our allottment , I was really worried about how I would cope when anything finally did happen to her and now the home feels empty even though we still have our other dog, but I know what I did were to stop her suffering anymore than she had to and im glad I stayed with her and held her throughout I saw how peacefully she slipped away and that is helping me cope with losing her. I will never forget her as she has played a very big part within the family for the last 14 years but she is at peace now her job done and now her time to rest so RIP leah xx
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  1. Old Comment
    Margaret Pilkington's Avatar

    Re: leahs last week

    Oh Cherokee, what a sad time for you. I know it is the hardest part of owning a pet....they become a part of your family...and they love you no matter what. I wish for you the strength to get through this hard time......I wish for Leah a painless end in the arms of someone who loves her dearly....and for you to have good memories of the times when she was fit and healthy...and also for you to know that no-one could have done more for her, given her a better life or a better end. I will be thinking of you and your family.
    Marg x
    Posted 20-10-2006 at 20:43 by Margaret Pilkington Margaret Pilkington is online now
  2. Old Comment
    harwood red's Avatar

    Re: leahs last week

    Don't really know what to say...but it def brought back memories of making the decision about my little freddie My thoughts are with you and your family...BIG HUGS (((((((xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx))))))))
    Posted 20-10-2006 at 23:11 by harwood red harwood red is offline
  3. Old Comment
    lettie's Avatar

    Re: leahs last week

    What can I say?? I was facing the same decision in April this year and it was taken out of my hands by terrible circumstances. The hardest thing about owning a pet is the stark realisation that they never last as long as you want them to do. Here is a big hug (((((((((((((((((((((.)))))))))))))))))))))))). My thoughts are with you at this sad time.
    Posted 21-10-2006 at 16:58 by lettie lettie is offline
  4. Old Comment
    slinky's Avatar

    Re: leahs last week

    So sorry to hear about this. Poor doggy. :-(
    Posted 21-10-2006 at 21:48 by slinky slinky is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Boeing Guy's Avatar
    Our German Shepard, Tess went in September last year. She was 13 and her back legs just went in a very brief time. I feel for your loss and know what a sad time it is, it is the hardest decision to make and we also had to make it. you are not alone.
    Posted 09-03-2008 at 09:07 by Boeing Guy Boeing Guy is offline

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