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The Musings of a Mule.

This being the thoughts & commentaries, musings & ponderation of said Donkey. A rather irrelevant look at life & its aspects seen through the eyes of someone who finds thistles ........ rather tasty !
Rating: 1 votes, 5.00 average.

Wondering about wandering

Posted 13-07-2013 at 13:04 by DaveinGermany

Once more the holiday season has snuck up on us & there's a multitude of snot noses wandering the streets & playing out late. The roads are clogged with Caravanistas causing untold misery & tailbacks as they dawdle through the countryside oblivious to the 3km disjointed tail of cursing motorists behind them! The sun beating down on this mechanical elongated snail causing chuntering & discord aplenty! Ah the joys of Summer. Best bet is to get away from it all by jumping on Cheapo airways sardine flight to sunnier shores!

And as happens at this time of year normally sane Folk are filled with "Wanderlust" & a desire for pastures new & "For'n parts" To soak up sights, sounds smells & culture of somewhere exotic (somehow a damp caravan in Rhyl doesn't cut it nowadays ). In fact the insanity in some cases is such that they're prepared to amass a fortune of debt (on top of their other debts) for a couple of weeks in sunnier climes! Stranger still they choose to go to places full of people that don't speak English, have blazing sunshine nearly 24/7, temperatures up in the 30's-40's, eat funny & strange foods, (crispy lambs nads anyone? Or if that's a bit much keep an eye out for eyeballs ) & are generally of a somewhat swarthy or dark complexion & whose general attitude is most certainly not in line with your average Brit outlook, absolutely scandalous!

Upon reaching this Paradise, this Shangri-la, where the booze is plentiful & cheap, or if you prefer, multi coloured, sticky, sweet & served out of an array of carved fruits or nuts, decorated with sparklers, tinsel & umbrellas (Something you'd never touch in your local Boozer for fear of ridicule!) but as you're on your Hols it's different & it's all in so that makes it alright then for "For'n parts" & it being a part of the local culture/tradition (so were the Lambs nads, remember ). With drink in hand what next? You look for some shade to get out of the blazing heat which is okay if you're a Johnny Foreigner but not a Brit. Next it's looking out for other Brits (usually the pasty looking or burnt red ones, wearing a Footy shirt/boob tube, shorts, either union jack or to tight) to talk to as you can't understand the local jibber-jabber! Then it's all off to to the" British Pub" for some proper scoff (a Lager & a Curry??? ) a watch of the box showing sky sports & maybe a look at the "Sun".

As the days blur into one another, a successive round of English brekkies, too much foreign booze in the sun, skulking into some dark & shaded corner for respite, visiting the Brit Pubs, bars & Cafes, all set up to give succour & solace to the weary travellers of Britain abroad, far from home, but gratified to have some focal points to remind them of home & hearth! ......................... Er? Hang on a minute, wasn't that the reason for taking a foreign holiday? To get away from the madding crowds of holidayists in the green & pleasant pastures of Britain's fair shores? Ah well, people eh? "There's nowt so queer as folk!" as the old adage goes.

Eventually your time of fun in the sun is up, it's back on the Cheapo airways sardine flight Blighty (not forgetting your last minute tourist tat, bought in the duty free shop as pressies for the nearest & dearest who stayed at home. These along with your fags, novelty for'n booze in a humorously shaped phallic/breasty dumpling shaped bottle, oh & your slab of Lager ). On board, hung over, tired, sunburnt & squeezing slightly in the pants department, it's only a few hours of flight time before you touchdown on the tarmac of UK, the journey home & your familiar creature comforts.

All conversation the next week-end, (and the foreseeable following week-ends, ad nauseum ) down the local (drinking foreign lager?) or eating out with friends (at the Italian/Greek/Chinese/Indian ) surrounded by folks (from distant shores in modern Multi-Culti Britain) will be about the marvellous time you had in your typhoid resort of choice, how good it all was, backed up with piccys on your mobile phone (even if they are somewhat embarrassing & debauched) all of it confirming what a great time you had of it in lands afar, but for all that it's still not as good as being in the good old UK! That being the case wouldn't it have been better to stop along at home? Aren't the British just such a marvellously fascinating Nation?

Well, that's me for the time being! Hope this little ponder has been worth your while reading. So until the Donkey deliberates again, look after yourselves & go safe whatever you do.

Thanks for reading .....
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 1307 Comments 7
Total Comments 7

Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Stevie R's Avatar
    Captured the essence of Brits abroad there Dave
    Posted 13-07-2013 at 23:56 by Stevie R Stevie R is offline
  2. Old Comment
    MargaretR's Avatar
    I made a point of never going to places where Union Jack shorts were seen. There are civilised parts of Europe - where the german tourists tend to predominate
    Posted 14-07-2013 at 09:11 by MargaretR MargaretR is offline
  3. Old Comment
    DaveinGermany's Avatar
    Oh I wouldn't be so sure MargaretR, The Deutschers also have their specialists, ever heard of "Ballerman 6"?

    Aye Steve, It's quite an eye opener what a little casual observation can bring to light.
    Posted 14-07-2013 at 11:58 by DaveinGermany DaveinGermany is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Margaret Pilkington's Avatar
    I think my trip will be to the US of A...in laymans terms that is the uther side of Accy.
    Posted 14-07-2013 at 13:11 by Margaret Pilkington Margaret Pilkington is online now
  5. Old Comment
    DaveinGermany's Avatar
    Like it Ma, like it, not heard that one before, what with me being a Johnny foreigner to the environs of Accy.
    Posted 14-07-2013 at 13:25 by DaveinGermany DaveinGermany is offline
  6. Old Comment
    cashman's Avatar
    Aye dave, but yeh fit in very well,
    Posted 14-07-2013 at 16:31 by cashman cashman is offline
  7. Old Comment
    DaveinGermany's Avatar
    Gorblimey Squire! You mean I can say I'm a Dishonorary Akky-ring-tonian!

    Eeh! Right proper chuffed!
    Posted 14-07-2013 at 18:18 by DaveinGermany DaveinGermany is offline
 

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