lost it...
Posted 10-12-2005 at 21:42 by harwood red
Well I have just calmed down from absolutely losing it with my lads. They really are good lads but they were having one of their "go's" at each other which if left almost decends into WW3. I tried to get them to compromise but it just didn't seem to be working (lads are 12 & 13 years old). Then out of the blue I completely and I mean completely lost it, in fact I think the whole street heard me lose it!!!!
It would not be an understatement to say that I completely and utterly cracked up.... I was ranting, raving and lashing out, throwing stuff and generally developing into a monster....
Why did I get like that??? I wish I knew the answer, the only thing I can think of is I have been a bit under pressure from different quarters of late and am struggling to maybe keep all the balls juggling in the air. That with the added pressure that we all know as the build up to christmas and the extreme tiredness from sleepless nights finally came and slapped me in the face..
So I have sobbed and sobbed whilst sat on the floor rocking like some demented idiot and had both boys trying to calm me down... What have I come to when your 13 year old has to tell you to "Breath!" ?????????
Then it hit me..... I have to admit to myself I really am trying to do TOO much and something is going to have to give... and I need to find that "me" time that seems to have been lost somewhere on the way.
Next is to tackle the guilt of losing it like that, I am normally such a controlled, independant and focused individual but even I have to admit that I have many weaknesses and one of those shone like the star on xmas night!!!!
Oh well I must be back to some normality if I have managed to type all this out... I promise I will try for a more upbeat entry next time
It would not be an understatement to say that I completely and utterly cracked up.... I was ranting, raving and lashing out, throwing stuff and generally developing into a monster....
Why did I get like that??? I wish I knew the answer, the only thing I can think of is I have been a bit under pressure from different quarters of late and am struggling to maybe keep all the balls juggling in the air. That with the added pressure that we all know as the build up to christmas and the extreme tiredness from sleepless nights finally came and slapped me in the face..
So I have sobbed and sobbed whilst sat on the floor rocking like some demented idiot and had both boys trying to calm me down... What have I come to when your 13 year old has to tell you to "Breath!" ?????????
Then it hit me..... I have to admit to myself I really am trying to do TOO much and something is going to have to give... and I need to find that "me" time that seems to have been lost somewhere on the way.
Next is to tackle the guilt of losing it like that, I am normally such a controlled, independant and focused individual but even I have to admit that I have many weaknesses and one of those shone like the star on xmas night!!!!
Oh well I must be back to some normality if I have managed to type all this out... I promise I will try for a more upbeat entry next time
Total Comments 4
Comments
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Re: lost it...Oh H.R.......give yourself a break, you are only human. It probably did your boys good to see you lose it......they have to realise that your patience is finite and they can only push you so far. Don't feel bad.....pour yourself a glass of something cold and sit down. When you are feeling better explain your actions to your boys...they ARE old enough to understand......and tell them that you expect a bit more support from them.
I know it may not help much, but I am sending you a monster hug(((((((((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))))) there! |
Posted 10-12-2005 at 22:06 by Margaret Pilkington
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Re: lost it...What an awful woman. I've met your two lads and they are well behaved, well mannered angels. Try and regain some self contol woman!
Don't suppose you caught it on video, as I can't imagine you being in screaming stop? .......and breath.  |
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Posted 10-12-2005 at 23:17 by garinda
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Re: lost it...Sometimes it does them good to be a bit freaked out by their parents! Not recommending it every week but every blue moon has a lot of impact. I'll bet they're on good behaviour for a while now!
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Posted 12-12-2005 at 13:38 by Gayle
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Re: lost it...I know exactly how you feel HW. Trying to be all things to all people does you no good. Sit back for at least 10 mins every day with a brew or something stronger and take deep breaths. I do this first thing in a morning and get up 20 minutes earlier than I need to so I am the only one up and its so peaceful. If for any reason I don't get 10 mins to myself I'm like a bear with a sore head. LOL
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| Posted 17-12-2005 at 17:16 by Debbie J |
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