It proved to be a very surreal time for me and one I feel over time I have chosen to block out a lot of the painful memories. I know we stayed living above the shop after my dad left but yet I don’t know for how long… I forget what happened to all the shops, how were they sold, in fact when were they sold!!??

What I do remember is seeing the pain marked across my mums face on a daily basis whilst she tried so hard to continue with some kind of normality for us… Why did this happen?? What did I do wrong?? Why did that woman who cared so much for all of us take my dad?? Why did my Dad not phone?? Why did my Mum cry so much??? Why did my brother look like he was carrying the world on his shoulders?? Why, why, why seemed to be the...

I remember being in what would have been my final year of primary school and being told I had to stop an extra year as I had jumped the final year of infants and was now only 10 and not old enough to start at secondary.... I was so upset as it meant all the friends I had during junior school were moving on and I had to start making friends with kids I saw as being younger than me but who were actually the same age. At the same time this was going on. Things were rapidly going down hill at home. There was a tension in the air and now and again raised voices but my brother and I weren't quite sure what was going on... Our parents were still running the shops so didn't spend much time together or with us..... then the world came crashing down...

Well after writing my last blog entry in the early hours of the morning. I played a few games, talked to Garinda on Msn and read any recent posts I went back to bed just before 6.... well I think my body must have been ready for another 4 hours cos when the alarm went off at 7am I really, really, really didn't want to get up. Funnily enough though I managed to get through loads at work.... so maybe I should do it more often. Did have a slump early this evening but I am sat here wide awake now so I suppose a midnight bedtime tonight is out of the question... I am however going to try and gradually bring my bedtime earlier each night and hope that my body also gradually adjusts too

Don't know whether it shows the time blogs are written here but just in case it doesn't it is 4.55 am. "What you still doing up at that time?" I can hear you cry.... well I have been to bed and have now woke up. As many who know me know I don't tend to get to bed much before 2 or 3am. Well I went out last night and had a few drinks, got home about 11pm came on the computer for an hour and was getting really sleepy, so thought I would get an early night for once and was in bed for midnight to get a decent nights sleep!! WRONG!!! Woke up at 4.30am wide awake. I think my body has adjusted to approx 4 hours sleep so now I am wide awake with another 3 hours before I can go to work and will prob be knackered before I even get there...

my back is a bit easier today so in much better mood! And yes I am going to morecambe tonight and can't wait! Thanks for all your kind comments. I know I have to live with my back condition for life but when it goes like it did on Sunday I think a bit of panic set in that I was going to be laid up for weeks as I was a few months ago.

So heres to tonights match..... COME ON YOU REDS!!! Hope to see quite a few of you there tonight as the atmosphere is going to be fab lets hope the stanley players match it on the pitch