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The Immac story.

Posted 06-02-2014 at 19:58 by lettie

Now I know I haven't blogged for some considerable time, I've been terribly busy with a new job (I may blog about that another time) but, I am at a loose end tonight and it's winter. I just want to feel summery again so here's a summer memory......

It was August 1994, I remember it well because it was my last single girly holiday. I was off to Cyprus with my sister Sam and my friend Nicola for a fortnight of sun, sea, sand and squid. We were in our 20s, worked hard and were really excited at the prospect of a summer holiday.

Now there are certain things that ladies must do in order to become bikini ready. In my case, lose several pounds, tone up (a lot), deal with patches of unsightly dry skin, try to make toenails look less like hooves and get rid of unwanted fuzz. The weight, tone, hooves and dry skin are a lost cause but I thought that I could deal with the fuzzy stuff - honestly I did.

Many of you know that I am not adverse to a bit of travel but I'm not much of a packer and tend to pack about 20 minutes before departure. It's a great way to be as nothing ever needs ironing when I get there. I stuffed the last of my holiday clothes into the case. Sam was ready hours before me and the taxi was arranged to pick up Nicola then come for us. I reckoned I'd 40 minutes before the taxi was due so I spread a towel onto the bed, covered my bikini line in Immac and laid on the towel to read a bit of my book while the Immac took effect.

Well, 10 minutes after I'd put the Immac on my sister shouted up the stairs that Nicola had phoned and the taxi had arrived for her and they would be at our house in 5 minutes. In a blind panic I shot off the bed and started to quickly shower off the Immac. I patted everything dry and was pulling on my jeans when the taxi came. I trotted down the stairs, chucked my case in the boot, locked up and we were off.....

With the luggage checked in at the airport we did what all self-respecting 20 something lasses do and hit the bar. We were happy and laughing and enjoying the freedom of a holiday, the cider at the airport bar was getting us in the mood for a good time and the other groups of holiday makers in the bar were ramping up the banter fuelled by alcohol and the thought of no work for a couple of weeks.

The final call came for our flight. These days I like to be at the gate before the final call, but back then I used to play 'final call roulette' and see just how many final calls there would be before your name was mentioned. After the 3rd final call, we decided to head for the gate. When we got there, there was still a queue to board the plane so we all decided to nip to the loo ( the cider was working its magic).

Well, I legged it into the nearest loo, dropped my drawers and to my horror every bit of minge I'd ever had fell to the floor!!!!

It was EVERYWHERE!! all over the toilet seat, the floor, floating in the air..... It was everywhere but on me. What was a simple bikini line exfoliation had turned into a Hollywood hell. There was nothing left except a thin film of left over Immac which I'd obviously not removed sufficiently in my hurry for the taxi... I didn't even have a little landing strip...

Well, my shriek in the toilet drew the attention of Sam & Nicola who, being sympathetic souls, immediately fell about laughing.. I was scrabbling about in the cubicle frantically trying to collect the errant muff and dispose of it down the toilet before running for the flight. There was nothing I could do about the leftover Immac on my skin. I had no way to wash it off before getting to Cyprus. There was no way I was trying to wash my bald bits in a public loo and dry it on the rolling towel

I eventually managed to shower off properly when we landed and was really lucky that it didn't damage my skin. Those 2 rotten beggars laughed all the way to Cyprus. I didn't have to worry about my bikini line for a few days, until it started itching that is, and as for the holiday well...

Let's just say we had a fantastic time but I've never used Immac since
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Total Comments 5

Comments

  1. Old Comment
    cashman's Avatar
    Dead funny Let.
    Posted 07-02-2014 at 07:12 by cashman cashman is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Margaret Pilkington's Avatar
    Oh Lettie, that is on a par with Sparkies Olympic 'movement'...and my run in with the emjoi.
    age and coughing has done teerible things to my pelvic floor so my drawers are more than a bit 'damp'...they've had to be changed

    More please!
    Posted 07-02-2014 at 11:53 by Margaret Pilkington Margaret Pilkington is offline
  3. Old Comment
    shillelagh's Avatar
    least you still walking lettie now...
    Posted 07-02-2014 at 21:23 by shillelagh shillelagh is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Turtle's Avatar
    I had a good laugh - thanks for this !
    Posted 10-02-2014 at 22:08 by Turtle Turtle is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Sunflower49's Avatar

    Thanks for this-funny read!
    I'm adverse to anything 'immac-like' due to once giving myself a 'chemi-burn' due to it!Not nice!

    There are no reasonable ways of getting rid of 'feminine' hair, I conclude.NONE! All have consequences that I blatantly DO NOT WANT!
    Posted 17-02-2014 at 01:52 by Sunflower49 Sunflower49 is offline
 

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