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The worst of times..Bad to worse

Posted 21-08-2005 at 18:16 by lettie

I slept on the sofa that night, my back was killing me. I awoke the next morning and painfully peed blood stained urine into the loo. There was blood all over the bathroom from Mark's razor slashing fiasco. He was as right as rain. The slashing of the wrists was something that he started to do quite frequently and of course, it was always my fault. He never did enough to do himself any damage...

I told him that I was leaving and that's when things grew worse. He had a lot of friends. It's not their fault as they never knew what his behaviour was really like. He threatened that if I ever left him, he would send a gang round to beat up my dad. He also said that he was in a road accident as a kid, and had suffered a head injury, and that's why he was like he was. I was nearly 18 and terrified, so I stayed.

He was nice again for a short while but then the behaviour deteriorated once more. Frightened that I would leave, he used to lock me in when he went to work. I had been fired from my job by then. The beatings had become more frequent and so had my absences from work. I was always covered with a sick note but because I was young and hadn't been there long, I found myself dismissed. The Citizens Advice people said that I should go for unfair dismissal, but I couldn't face having to explain what was happening.

Locked in an upstairs flat and only let out to do the shopping I started to feel very isolated. None of my friends ever came near and I rarely saw my family. I lost weight at an alarming rate and became ill with chest and throat infections. Mark took me to the Doctor's and every time the Doc asked me a question, Mark answered. He was trying to convince the Doc that I was anorexic or had some sort of mental illness.

Mark was very careful to ensure that I didn't get bruises on my face or anywhere which couldn't be covered with clothing or hair. The back and sides of my head were always his favourite spots and I had more lumps than elephant man. He used to take me for cups of tea at his mum's house. His mum was a nice lady and she was always inviting me to go round for a brew on my own during the day. Mark said that he would kill me if I tried to visit his mother alone......

One day whilst going to get the shopping, I arranged to meet my mum at Asda. I only got let out of the flat for shopping and he only gave me about an hour for that. If I was late he used to go spare and accuse me of having affairs behind his back, slash his wrists and beat me up...

I was so desperate to tell my mum what was happening but I didn't know where to start. My mum said that one of my old school friends had tried to get in touch with me and had left a phone number with my mum. I hadn't seen Andrea for ages and I phoned her immediately from Asda. She was heavily pregnant and getting married after the baby was born. I told her to ring my mum when she delivered and I would try to see her at the hospital. I told her that I was well.

I knew that my mum was worried about me. I had lost a lot of weight since I'd last seen her. I was 5' 7" and weighed less than 8 stone. I was pale and sad looking and mum said that she thought I'd lost my sparkle. I was desperate to escape.......

To be continued.......
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  1. Old Comment
    harwood red's Avatar

    Re: The worst of times..Bad to worse

    I can't even say what my response to this blog is as it wasn't words it was more a large exhale of air and a slump in the shoulders......... what a memory to live with
    Posted 21-08-2005 at 22:11 by harwood red harwood red is offline
  2. Old Comment
    garinda's Avatar

    Re: The worst of times..Bad to worse

    Oh my God Lettie, I missed the first part of this blog until just now. It's one of the saddest things I've ever read. Me saying I'm sorry isn't going to help I know, but I am. Knowing you now, and how strong you seem it's hard to imagine it's the same girl I know. Thank God you got away, I don't know what else to say except that I'm crying at the ****e you must have gone through.
    Posted 22-08-2005 at 11:49 by garinda garinda is offline

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