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Rear end problems.....

Posted 03-09-2005 at 10:38 by lettie

Dear oh dear........ I have had no end of rear end problems in the last 24 hours..

I went to a wedding do with Sparks last night. One of his colleagues had taken the plunge, and along with several others, off we went to the Higher Trapp to join the celebration. Undecided about what to wear, I raked through my wardrobe for anything that was clean and didn't need ironing. I decided on a pair of beige trousers and a long mint green top. It looked ok (or so I thought).

The majority of my going out clothes are washed and ironed for the hols. I just need to chuck them into a bag this afternoon, so my choice of what to wear last night was limited. We had a nice time at the do, then came home. It was at home that I discovered a problem.....

Whilst undressing I managed to catch a glimpse of my ar$e in the mirror. Horror of horrors...... I was suffering from the 'knickers too tight' syndrome and looked like I had 4 butt cheeks. I called to Sparks "have you seen the state of this?" "It looks like my ar$e has been painted by Picasso."

That's right, I'd walked round all night with a bad case of Picasso ar$e and nobody had said anything... Sparks played dumb (always the right thing to do) and reckoned he hadn't noticed anything because my top was long and had kept my ar$e covered. I reluctantly dared to believe him, but still fell into bed mortified....

When we woke up this morning Sparks offered to get up and make me a brew. I normally do the brewing in the morning and I take the time that I am waiting for the kettle to boil as an opportunity to feed the dog and let her out. Sparks brewed up but didn't feed the pooch. Rather disgruntled she followed him up the stairs. He brought the brews into the bedroom and the dog followed him in (despite being told to stay outside). She saw me (her usual food source) lying in bed, curled up on my side so........ She dived onto the bed and stuck her freezing cold, wet nose right up my backside..

I've never moved so quick in my life. The dog was jumping up and down wagging her tail whilst I was streaking around the bedroom swearing.....

I'm really hoping that me and my ar$e have a better time of it on holiday....
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  1. Old Comment
    slinky's Avatar

    Re: Rear end problems.....

    Lmao lettie, that made me laugh out loud.
    Maybe your top was too long for anyone to see your 4 ar$ you put it lol. men have a nack of doing that don't they, "oh well i didn't notice hun", he he he.
    Hope you have a great holiday.
    Posted 03-09-2005 at 11:06 by slinky slinky is offline
  2. Old Comment

    Re: Rear end problems.....

    "Does my ar$e look big in this?" is a rhetorical question; one which we already know the answer to.
    It is a loaded question, designed to trip us up. At worst it is a capital offence to answer incorrectly. At best it guarantees a week of silence and celibacy.
    Posted 03-09-2005 at 11:24 by Sparkologist
  3. Old Comment

    Re: Rear end problems.....

    sparks knows the rules- good man lol have a good holiday.
    Posted 03-09-2005 at 21:22 by cashman
  4. Old Comment
    harwood red's Avatar

    Re: Rear end problems.....

    love it, 4 ar$e syndrome, ha ha. Not laughing at you but your description. it's really not fair though how fellas can just throw clothes on and they're sorted! Did feel for sparks though as he said there really is only one answer
    Posted 04-09-2005 at 15:49 by harwood red harwood red is offline

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