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life after.........
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comin up it's dare!!

Posted 28-08-2005 at 03:54 by mez's baby boy!!!

firstly a bit of background to bring it all to speed. iwas married on the 8th november 2002, was a simple ceremony but that didnt matter to me i was marrying what i thought was the love of my life. We had a son earlier that year he's called myles . Everything seemed to be going ok then my daughters mother ( from a previous relationship ) stopped me from seeing her! My world started to crumble!! me and my wife went to the local court admin offices and enquired as to what we could do. We were advised to apply for a contact order, we duly did this and three months later i was allowed to see my daughter ( Keeley ) again i was elated!! (The courts were really good and the info and advice was very helpful. Come on lads its a piece of cake) . Then one sat morning a brown envelope came through the door, Yes the good old C.S.A!!. 16 months later and we finaly came to an agreement regarding maintaince payments for keeley without the C.S.A being involed Nitemare over. WRONG!!!!!!!!! , it was just begining. We had both sufferd through these events, we started arguing , fighting why? we were meant to be strong for each other we had promised each other that nothing would tear us apart but it did and we lost each other. Before i go on i must say there are certain things that i have missed out mainly to protect myself and my soon to be ex wife , and from a legal stance i'm not sure where i stand. And i must ask others who know about these events to please remain tight lipped thanks.We decided anyhow to move areas and found a lovley three bed semi in atherton and moved there in march 2003.Things started well we were busy bringing the house up to scratch, we were gettin on fine. Then we met the neihbours!!!. i swear i've never lived on a street like this before. The gossiping, Trisha eat your heart out!!. Try living with a bunch of interfering " im a physcologist type of person " mixed up and lonley people!!, honest!!". Anyway as we grew further apart things started to get much worse for us.Lesson one smack in the chops!!!. Comunication!!. How many of us really talk all the time? I never did, I tried but never managed to get through, Or i'd have a major strop and it was like a bad day in bagdad. So to a fashion we were like any other normal couple. We made up most of the time but the things that really make you question what you have, Those really nasty arguments those are the begining of the end, Well thats what i feel we all feel differant dont we.We had both come from similar types of backgrounds and experiance so no problem there we had somthing to relate to.I'm not tryin here to put the blame on my wife or other parties here.We were both to blame we didn't talk, Normaly we did but the bad rows so many horrible things where said to one another makes me f%@kin ashamed of myself, really does! God how nasty can people get.These arguments how ever brought intrest from the neihbours, ONE in particular.whilst my wife went round for a bottle or three of red wine i went down a differant route, I wanted to be alone most of the time ( champ manager helped!! ) and had a few cans. My wife most often than not came home and was almost purring with desire, It's so true about red wine you really can't go wrong.I started to reject her, I was starting to think! Yes proper thinkin stuff, Lets get deep in there stuff.Obviously other things happend and i did feel so guilty and distant from her it can't of been easy. But things she said, Not to me but to the neihbours, there was always a spectical to witness and more often than not she made me chief jester!!!!. Couples get to know each others weaknesses and strengths, so why do we act so vigorously on the weaknesses?? Why! we all do it. If we put that type of energy in to the positives BINGO!!!!, There wouldn't be much to argue about and the uk's childbirth stats would be off the charts!!!.Mothers day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. This day is the day i lost respect for my wife, Which basicly meant my marrage was over. I'd lost my wife and that made me cry. My heart snapped i couldn't stop it i didn't know how, I lost my love for her.On this day , Mother's day!! i can see it vividly my wife barging into the bed room, only minutes earlier we had opened her gift's and cards, All of us together. I'd been to asda the day previously with my son and my step daughter and had a top laugh." Why have you hidden vodka in the fridge? " I just couldn't reason with her! The story behind the vodka goes like me=vodka=trouble!!.well i thought it did. I've been separated from my wife for 4/5 months now and must resemble tsar smerrnoff himself, Not a peep or comment. Not a dig or a scream at anybody! Now get a person drunk, Total differance, you are odds on to make somebody kick when they are drunk. So thats what used to happen when i drank vodka.NOTE: not so long before this event happened my wife had sat and drunk a bucket full of VODKA!!! with me i was goosed, but not an arguement or cross word between us. LESSSON, When your partners ****ed and we all know that spirts kick your arse you think differant, and see things a bit weired you kick, bummer!.This nite i hadn't, i was loving had gathered my family and was looking forward to the rest of the day.she got worse and i grew more frustrated. i packed some belongings and said i was going to my mates house till it all settled, And also the real reason my baby boy he was scared of me 'cos i used to shout he started jerkin at every loud decible i got to.**** that i aint having that so i'd started to leave till it had all cooled down, at least for his sake i had to. My wife said i was always running away, I couldn't bear to see him like that it gutted me, really gutted me poor love.Part three soon.
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  1. Old Comment
    harwood red's Avatar

    Re: background!

    funny how things can change so quickly in our lives. well done for starting the blog
    Posted 28-08-2005 at 10:44 by harwood red harwood red is offline

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