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first time

Posted 14-08-2005 at 16:05 by shillelagh

Its hard being a carer especially of being a carer of someone who has dementia. Thats me - Im my mums carer who was diagnosed with dementia 2 yrs ago. Im lucky in a way because i have my sisters & brothers who help but sometimes its just me because I live with her and when she is in a mood its me she takes it out on me. I also have carers coming in and getting her up and putting her to bed. Like the time she called me a prostitute or she says that i'm not her daughter i am her sisters daughter or that when I was born I was a boy and the midwife took the boy away and gave him to my dad and my dad then gave me back to her - well confusing isnt it but that is what it is like. There are times when she is compus mentus and shes brilliant she'll tell u stories when she was growing up but when shes in a bad mood its hell. At the minute shes singing hymns from her childhood. Everything that is said on the radio she takes for granted and she thinks they are talking about her and her family and that somethings wrong. If a record is played she'll turn it up and tell me to shut up so then she can listen to the words and then after its finished she'll say see were u listening to that that is wot u should be doing - ever listened to Gerry & the Pacemakers U'll never walk alone and be told that is wot i should do? r Diane by the Bachelors? Its an experience and if you are not a carer you cant understand wot its like. Even the carers who come say they dont know how I can do it because they say its easy for them because they go home at the end of the day and thats it - but for carers its harder cos they live with it day in day out. It is hard but she looked after me when I was a kid so why cant i do it now? A few people say put her in a home but she doesnt want to go in a home she doesnt like it when i put her in respite. When she goes in respite I dont visit her because that is my holiday.
The people I respect though are children and teenagers who are carers because theyre the ones looking after their mums and dads they have it harder than me. At least I'm an adult and a bit tougher its hard on them because they come home from school and then look after their parents.
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  1. Old Comment

    Re: first time

    its tough but what other choice have you, i aint religious but i believe one day you always get good for good.
    Posted 15-08-2005 at 00:07 by cashman
  2. Old Comment
    garinda's Avatar

    Re: first time

    Welcome Jen. You always come into the chatroom cheery, and a bit cheeky, I imagine you don't always feel it. It's nice to a fuller picture, thank. xxxx
    Posted 15-08-2005 at 05:56 by garinda garinda is offline
  3. Old Comment
    lettie's Avatar

    Re: first time

    Welcome to the blogs. It must be so hard to be a carer 24/7. My Aunt had early onset Alzheimers and she was such hard work to look after.
    Posted 15-08-2005 at 07:07 by lettie lettie is offline
  4. Old Comment
    slinky's Avatar

    Re: first time

    I'm a carer, for dementia patients aswell as just elderly.
    I can appreciate how hard it must be and the carers were right, we can go home at the end of the day and forget about it til our next shift.................
    Good luck jenxxx
    Posted 15-08-2005 at 11:11 by slinky slinky is offline

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