You're sleeping peacefully now, my faithful old girl. Your end was quick and compassionate. Your last few days were not so kind; the abscess under your chin that made you rub so frantically that you were raw and sore. But it's over now, my loving pet. Today I did the last kind act that I could do for you and though I am weeping, though I miss you and wish you were still here at my feet, where you always were, I know it was right.

Do you remember, before old age crept up on you, how you used to fetch a stick for me? If it went in the long grass I would shout Find it and you'd circle around, nose on the ground and tail in the air, until you leapt on the stick and brought it back to me looking so pleased with yourself. Do...

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Today was The Party. Laura was 6 last Monday but we chose today for the Bit-of-a-Do. Remembering past experiences, Daughter decided to have it at a local Leisure Centre where the staff entertain the children with games for an hour in the badminton hall and you have the bar lounge for the food then the staff do all the clearing up - wonderful.

It started with just 12 potential guests but then it escalated, due to having to reciprocate invitations (Laura has at least one party a week to go to), and ended up with the whole class invited. Two said they couldn't come so we were left with 27, including Laura. Come the hour we had just 24 as one had been sick all morning, one had to go to her grandma's as her mum went into hospital...

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My daughter in law is a lovely girl. She's a little bit Hippy and New Age but she's a computer technician and knows her stuff so it's not all "fairies". She's been married to my son for 7 years and they were together for 9 years before that. She plays bass guitar in his band and "roadies" for the AC/DC tribute band he plays in. They live in Manchester with their 2 cats in an old house with a blue plaque on the wall that says a well-known suffragist lived there and they're a lovely couple.

We get on well, my daughter in law and me, but there's one thing we just DON'T have in common. She's getting happier because Winter is approaching. She loves cold dark evenings, rain and snow, frost on the ground and...

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So tomorrow is crunch day. I have to ring the vet to tell him if I want more tablets or............

I have agonised for 2 weeks. When I've been wakened in the night by, "Woof"......"Pant"......."Woof", I've thought, "This can't go on". When I've gone to the loo at 3 a.m. and so has Jet, on the landing carpet, I've thought, "I've had enough". But when we've walked across the fields and the tail has been held high, the eyes have been bright and the nose has been busy I've thought, "She's still happy and she still enjoys life".

If I thought she was suffering it would be so much easier, I wouldn't hesitate, but apart from the odd wobble in the back legs...

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Jet went back to the vet today. He asked how she was responding to the pills she's on and I had to admit there's not much improvement. We had a long talk and we've decided on another 2 weeks of the pills. The vet was gently suggesting that the end is getting very close and I had to agree.

So we'll try for another 2 weeks. If there's a big improvement then fine but both my daughter and I know it's very unlikely. We've talked about it and we agree that, without the improvement, we must say goodbye to our dear old friend.

She's very confused, most of the time, and the hygiene problems are getting worse. Despite disinfectant, Shake'n'Vac and Febreeze in constant use, I'm convinced my carpets smell like an old...

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