What do you lot think?

junetta · 25-07-2006, 22:51

Just before I go off to my bed, after spending the afternoon getting rather tiddled with my mate on her birthday.............

There is a trip to the Falkand Islands next July. It was twenty five years ago, when they killed off my hubby.

Should I go?

SPUGGIE J · 25-07-2006, 23:07

I would say go as even after this amount of time there will be pain. It might also help get some closure on seeing what he was "taken" from you.

Madhatter · 25-07-2006, 23:11

wow, thats some question to ask.
yes.

how do you feel now I've said that?

I think only you can know if it will give you anything going there, or if there's anything to stop you going there.

Doug · 25-07-2006, 23:48

I would go June. It’s a very personal decision and one that will awaken memories, both good and bad, but as well as heartaches it may well help you in ways you least expect and it would help to bring closure if you haven’t already been out there.

Whatever you choose to do, do it with pride and love, any combatant of that conflict as my deepest respect and for those who didn’t return, my deepest regrets.

Go…………….

cherokee · 25-07-2006, 23:52

thats certainly some question june,, i think it all depends on just how you feel now and what you think you will get from the trip.
All i can say is if i personally was in that position is i would want to go and see the place and try to seek some kind of peace from it but like s been said already its something only you can decide, good luck in whatever you decide to do

cashman · 26-07-2006, 00:31

hell of a questionl june! all depends on how YOU feel, if it will do you some good,give you some closure,peace, if i was in that situ, i would probably go. i would say don,t go because of peer pressure- go if its right for june, i think you know where i,m coming from. i hope so.

steeljack · 26-07-2006, 15:58

Junie , I think I would talk it over with the kids and see how they feel about it and if it would be possible for them to go as well .

grannyclaret · 26-07-2006, 16:24

Ask yourself,,would your husband want you to go ,if you think he would then do,if you think he wouldent then dont,,only you know your true personal feelings...GOOD LUCK,i am sure you will make the right decision for ....YOU....

katex · 26-07-2006, 16:57

Wow, June, that post certainly made me gasp when I read it. How very sad.

Thing is, there will be a good chance that you will always regret not going and wondering, won't you? whereas can't see how you will ever regret going, even though it might open wounds for a while.

So I suggest strongly that you do go. xx

Len · 26-07-2006, 17:15

If it was me and I had lost my wife in that conflict. I most probably would love to be able to go and spend a little time in the place where she had died.

The only thing I can think of that would probably stop me from going to a certain extent, is the thought of that place (The place were she died) as being an evil, vile and horrible place because of my loss. If I was to go then I may well find out that it’s nothing like what I have imagined all those years.

Good luck June.

KIPAX · 26-07-2006, 17:20

If you dont go.. you will always be asking the question should I.. and one day it will be too late and you will be wishing you had... If your anything like me then once you have asked the question... theres only one answer . Go

pendy · 27-07-2006, 17:05

It's a question only you can answer. We can all say what we would do if we were you, but we're not. Think through both options. Which would cost you more pain? - and would the short-term pain of visiting be better than the long-term pain of regret that you didn't go? Whichever you decide, our love and thoughts are with you.

K.S.H · 27-07-2006, 17:41

Like everyone else has said it is a difficult question and hard for anyone to answer without being in your shoes, I "think" I would go, i'm sure i'd want to see the place and re-trace my loved ones last steps

lindsay ormerod · 27-07-2006, 19:40

I think you should go on the trip June,not having been in that situation myself it's hard to understand what your feelings must be,it will be a very difficult time for you but it may help you to see the place in reality and not just in your imagination.
You are obviously a very strong person to be considering this trip and it's flattering that you have asked the opinions of your friends on here.
Good luck with whatever decision you make.x

West Ender · 27-07-2006, 20:41

June, you know how many "firsts" there are after such a loss because, like me, you've experienced them. There's the first Christmas, the first birthday, the first anniversary, so many first times facing them alone. Grief is a very personal emotion and we all handle it in our own way.

You've got through that and now, after so long, there's suddenly this possibility of going to a place that made such a huge difference to your life. I can't tell you if you should go. It's a matter of what feels right for you and I think you should trust your instincts. There is no right or wrong decision to be made here, it's neither bad nor good whether you want to go or you don't. Going on this trip might help you or, on the other hand, it might not but don't be influenced by anyone else's opinion. No one else knows you like you know yourself and you will come to the right decision for you. What ever that decision is, you have my best wishes and my thoughts are with you.