Accrington Limericks

[MargaretR]

There was a man in Waterside
who liked his trousers made of hide
he went to the races
and bust his braces
showing his mucky backside

[WillowTheWhisp]

A young lass from up Willows Lane
Moaned that walking the dog was a pain
So her Mum bought a cat
Then the young lass got fat
Cos she never went walking again.

[Bob Dobson]

Originally Posted by flashytart

this thread is excellent, its made me laugh loads, thanx you lot

An Accrington lass, Flashytart,
Thought limericks were something 'Quite smart'.
She praised the compiler,
Just added a smiler,
Then realised she'd become an old fart

[flashy]

lol thankyou


but i dont live in Accy

[Mancie]

There was a bloke that wen't t'pie shop an it were shut

[Bob Dobson]

An Accrington chap name of Walter
Boasted "Ah'm t'chap they can't alter"
She needs our prayers
Whom he carried upstairs
On the day he led her to th'altar.

[garinda]

Originally Posted by Mancie

There was a bloke that wen't t'pie shop an it were shut

You might be happier in the thread 'Make up a Japanese Haiku about Accrington'.

[MargaretR]

In a flat at an estate in Ossy
lives a man with a toffee nosed snozzy
his vendetta is boring
it sets us all snoring
I wish he wasn't so bossy

[MargaretR]

A stingy old man from Peelpark
had a wife afraid of the dark
he said 'My dear wife,
you're the light of my life'
'Switch it on' was her remark

[Retlaw]

There was an old copper named Dobson.
Who were crammed and had big a cobs on.
It were is feet
they never were reet.
But thats about par for a Dobson.

Retlaw.

[Bob Dobson]

This thread is two years old so worth a run ouit again. I have been in correspondence with a lady abiout Hagg Lane, now Hyndbuirn Rd. She came up with:

There once was a lass from Hagg
Who did nowt all day but nag.
Then she met Bob,
Got a smack in the gob
And her mouth fastened up with a gag.

[Tealeaf]

I am a young man from Church
who left a young lady in the lurch
What a bummer!
So I did a runner
And she's still on the search.

(ps..don't tell anyone where I am).

[garinda]

There was a new player at Peel Park.
A Scots lad who could see in the dark.
Whilst playing a match in poor light,
Jock sudddenly took flight.
Stanley won ten - nil. What a lark!

[garinda]

There was a young lady from Snuffy.
Her boyfriend, his pet name was Muffy.
Whilst out in the woods,
She showed him the goods.
Nine months later out popped a singer they named Duffy.

[black_flights]

There was a young girl from Clayton le moors
Who’s partner she said awoke her with Snores
She would give him a prod,
But he continued to nod
And in the morning he complained of some sores