Funerals - Page 6

BERNADETTE · 09-07-2008, 11:12

What is weird to some will be a great help to others. Grief is such a funny old thing but if the pics help your brother that is all that matters.

Margaret Pilkington · 09-07-2008, 11:15

I kept the cards that people sent me when my dad died.......I just couldn't read them at the time.....it was emotionally too much for me. It took something like the passage of seven years before I could read them all.......I still have them somewhere.
Everyone grieves differently, and at different rates, some people are comforted by one thing, others by something entirely different.......we should not deny someone the comfort they need because it doesn't fit in with what is traditional......remember the Victorians made keepsakes and jewellery out of the deceaseds hair.....but things and times change.
Whatever gets you through those dark days has to be accepted.

SPUGGIE J · 09-07-2008, 11:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Less

All the modern technology we have, video's of Weddings, Christenings etc. but I don't suppose we'll ever hear anyone say, "Shall we watch Grandad's funeral again?",
After all in it's own way it is supposed to be celebrating someone's past life as well as mourning their death. Perhaps it would, in some circumstances even help?

I reckon it would help. If per say the deceased had wanted them to be happy in say an Irish wake then they could look at the film and say that he got the send off that they wanted. I am one who hates drab somber funerals and think that they can do more harm than good. I have an uncle who jokes his way through life and would like to think we sent him on in death the way he lived. If filmed i would like to think he would have approved of a riotous joke laden life and interspurse it with clips of him at his best.

MikeSz · 09-07-2008, 14:23

I despise funerals, though I'm no fan of weddings either - having said that I dont like doing things because its the way people "just do them" in any case - If something's done a certain way, I will always try to find a way of being different (some would say the technical term for that is 'pain in the ass') - so for me, I.d have to go by being run over by an ambulance and I couldnt honestly care less what happens to me after that, though something like the vikings did would be acceptable - no music, just a burning raft

West Ender · 09-07-2008, 14:31

The music I chose for my husband's funeral was very, very personal to both of us; Glenn Miller's "Moonlight Serenade", part of Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue" and a variety of Miller and Presley as we left the crematorium chapel.

Colin didn't believe in lavish funerals and had always said he'd really prefer it if I could put him in a plastic bag and take him to the tip, though we both thought it would be many more years away. The funeral ceremony was as simple as I could make it, but tailored to celebrate him and his life, and his ashes were scattered over a meadow.

There's no memorial - he was always adamant about that - but having chosen music we both loved it's heard often in our house and, well, it's just part of me and him. I don't need music to remind me of him but it's his memorial none the less.

Less · 09-07-2008, 15:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by West Ender

The music I chose for my husband's funeral was very, very personal to both of us; Glenn Miller's "Moonlight Serenade", part of Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue" and a variety of Miller and Presley as we left the crematorium chapel.

Colin didn't believe in lavish funerals and had always said he'd really prefer it if I could put him in a plastic bag and take him to the tip, though we both thought it would be many more years away. The funeral ceremony was as simple as I could make it, but tailored to celebrate him and his life, and his ashes were scattered over a meadow.

There's no memorial - he was always adamant about that - but having chosen music we both loved it's heard often in our house and, well, it's just part of me and him. I don't need music to remind me of him but it's his memorial none the less.

Good for him and still treasured all the same,

I hope to be at the Crem' about 11.15 A.M. nobody in the fancy dress of vicar's, priest's etc. (I know a few, usually a good laugh so they are welcome), 3 minutes worth of a get together type song, watch the bin bag get lowered to the furnace and one of my kids shouting, "right back to the car by the time we get there, the bar will be open"!

WillowTheWhisp · 09-07-2008, 16:34

I got some lovely cards when my late husband died and some had lovely things written in them about what he had meant to them. They are just as much worth keeping as our wedding ones or the congratulations ones I got when the children were born. He had a great funeral, a real celebration of his life with some funny stories and some laughs. The choir (including me) sang one of his favourite songs. I see no harm at all in having a photographic remembrance of the day. In fact I wish I'd thought of it but I didn't. I'd have loved photos of the flowers, especially the ones the florist did for the girls with Daddy's favourite daffodils incorporated.

panther · 09-07-2008, 17:29

When i go I dont want flowers at my funeral, waste of money!!, they charge such daft prices + i dont want my name putting in the paper either, all my nearest and dearest will know iv popped me cloggs, so no need to waste money on that.

I dont want a priest/vicar whatever you call em....i dont believe so i dont need them to tell everyone iv gone to 'god', because i know i wont, if anything im going below

....LOL
after the funeral i want a good pi$$ up and everyone to be happy and celebrate my life not be miserable.
But songs i would like to have, but havent decided what yet, so lets hope i dont pop it soon

Margaret Pilkington · 09-07-2008, 17:34

My Ma says she doesn't want anyone other than her family to be at her final gathering........she wants no announcements in any papers...promises she will haunt me if I don't comply....no flowers, she says if she wasn't worth flowers while she was alive then she won't have them when she is dead.......she wants us to take her ashes to Ronda and cast them into the gorge(like we did with Pa).......I really do dread the day!

emamum · 09-07-2008, 17:59

I will get a catholic funeral.....which are very somber affairs .... I want cremating and throwing off the top of pendle hill (its a family thing)

Then a massive party!!!! celebrate my life not my death!!!

Quote:

I havent left you.. you just cant see me...
i am behind you to support you when you need me, in front of you to guide you when you lose your way
i am with you when you think of me, hugging you when you cry and always beside you, holding your hand as you walk through life..

dont be sad, think of the stupid things i have done and laugh.

As long as you remember me, i am still here.

panther · 09-07-2008, 18:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by emamum23

I want cremating and throwing off the top of pendle hill (its a family thing)

!!!

Lets hope its not a windy day then, or some poor sod will get ya ashes in their mush if its blowing towards em

emamum · 09-07-2008, 18:05

funny story......... well not that funny really lol....

When my grandad died we took his ashes up.... checked the wind direction and threw the ashes........as soon as we let go, wind direction changed and blew the ashes back at us!

Eric · 09-07-2008, 18:06

If I should die, think only this of me, that there's some corner of a foreign field that is forever Clayton-le-Moors (bottom end of course)

My apologies to the poet

lindsay ormerod · 09-07-2008, 18:24

We had "End of the line" by the Traveling Wilburys at the close of my stepdad's (Ossyclogger) funeral, he was a big Wilbury's fan and it seemed appropriate !
I would have to choose " Halleleujah" sung by either Rufus Wainwright or John Cale and probably some totally disrespectful Beautiful South track like "Old red eyes is back" , maybe a bit of KD Lang ......hmmmm.
I think it's a good idea to have a plan, takes a lot of the stress off your recently bereaved family.

Eric · 09-07-2008, 18:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by lindsay ormerod

We had "End of the line" by the Traveling Wilburys at the close of my stepdad's (Ossyclogger) funeral, he was a big Wilbury's fan and it seemed appropriate !
I would have to choose " Halleleujah" sung by either Rufus Wainwright or John Cale and probably some totally disrespectful Beautiful South track like "Old red eyes is back" , maybe a bit of KD Lang ......hmmmm.
I think it's a good idea to have a plan, takes a lot of the stress off your recently bereaved family.

"Crying" with KD Lang and Roy Orbison would be good ... never heard of "Old Red Eyes Is Back" but there are some good tracks on a rare CD by Brent Spiner, "Old Yellow Eyes Is Back."

And I have a plan ... I plan to die