Getting Old

[pwilky]

God I Feel Old 50 in acouple of weeks.Are we past it at 50

[K.S.H]

You might like to read this then Pwilky!!

Crumbly, Coffin Dodger or Oxygen Thief?
According to today’s regulators & bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 60s, 70s and early 80s probably shouldn’t have survived, because:

•Our cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint, which was promptly chewed and licked.
•We had no child-proof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors or cabinets, and it was fine to play with pans.
•When we rode our bikes, we didn’t wear helmets, just flip-flops, and had those fluorescent ‘clackers’ on our wheels. I think you will find they were known as Spokey-Dokeys. (Some old git wrote this).
•As children, we would ride in cars with no seatbelts or airbags. Riding in the front passenger seat was considered a real treat.
•We drank water from the garden hose, not from a bottle. Guess what? It tasted the same!
•We ate chips and bread & butter pudding, and drank fizzy pop with loads of sugar in it. But we never overweight, because we were always outside playing.
•We shared one drink with four friends, from one bottle or can, and no-one actually died from this.
•We would spend hours building go-karts out of scrap, and then raced them at break neck speed downhill, only to find we had forgot the brakes. After running into stinging nettles a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
•We would leave home in the morning, and could play all day, providing we were back before it went dark. No-one could reach us, and no-one minded.
•We didn’t have Sony Playstations, X-Boxes or video games at all.
•No 99 channel widescreen TVs. No videotape movies. No surround sound. No mobile phones. No personal computers, or internet chat rooms. We had friends, we went outside and found them.
•We played elastics, and street rounders. Sometimes, that ball really hurt.
•We climbed trees, and fell out of them. We got cuts and broken bones, but there were no lawsuits.
•We had full blown fist fights, but there was no ensuing prosecution from the loser’s parents.
•We played ‘knock-down ginger’, and were afraid of the owners catching us.
•We walked to friends houses.
•Believe it or not, we WALKED TO SCHOOL. We didn’t rely on mummy or daddy to drive us to school, which incidentally, was just around the corner.
•We made up games with sticks and tennis balls.
•We rode bikes in packs of seven, and wore our fur trimmed parkers by the hoods.
•The idea of our parents bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law.
•This generation has produced some of the best risk takers, problem solvers and inventors, ever. The last fifty years have been an explosion of creative innovation and new ideas.
•We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility. We learned how to deal with it all.
•And you’re one of them. Congratulations.
•Pass this on to others who had the luck to grow up as real kids, before regulators and government regulated our lives, for our own good or so the say.

For those of you who aren’t old enough, I thought you might like to read about us.

•This my friends, is surprisingly frightening….and it may put a smile on your face: The majority of university students today were born in 1983….they are called youth.
•They have never heard of ‘We are the world, we are the children’. And the Uptown Girl they know is by Westlife, not Billy Joel.
•They have never heard of Rick Astley, Bananarama, Nena or Belinda Carlisle.
•For them, there has only ever been one Germany and one Vietnam.
•AIDS has existed since they were born.
•CDs have been around as long as they have.
•Michael Jackson has always been white, but we know different.
•To them, John Travolta has always been rather rotund, (a fat bastard), and they can’t imagine how this fat guy could once have been a God of dance.
•They believe that Charlie’s Angels and Mission Impossible are films from last year.
•They can never imagine life before computers.
•They will never have pretended to be the A-Team, the Red Hand Gang or The Famous Five.
•They will never have applied to appear on Jim’ll Fix It or Why Don’t You?
•They cannot believe how we could ever leave the house without a mobile phone.
Now, let’s check if we are getting old.

1. You understand what was written above, and you smile.
2. You need to sleep more, usually until the afternoon, after a night out.
3. Your friends are getting married, or are already married.
4. You are always surprised to see small children playing comfortably with computers.
5. You remember watching Dirty Den in Eastenders first time around.
6. You meet your friends from time to time, talk about the good old days, and repeat again all the funny stories you experienced together.
7. When you see teenagers with mobile phones, you shake your head!

Yes, you are getting older, my friend.

[mez]

oo but its all true k.s.h,& i do remember im a sixtys gal & i loved &lived it to the full, im nr 60yrs now & still living in the (modern ) world i might not love it but IM LIVING IT TOO THE FULL//

[mrskitty]

pwilky.....the fact that u are using the internet to post that message is a sure sign that u r not the 'stereotypical' 50 year old cant be that bad.

[yerself]

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional

[jambutty]

I will consider myself as old when I close my eyes for the last time. Until then I will enjoy my retirement from the labours of earning a living aided and abetted by a good daily dose of trad jazz.

[WINGY]

Yes you are old pwilky hehe

[Sparkologist]

When you're afflicted with Alzheimers Disease, that's when you're getting old.

Can you remember what that is Wilky?

[lettie]

You most certainly are not old pwilky.... Personally, I will continue to age as disgracefully as possible and enjoy every minute of it.

[janet]

1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.

2. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover
you aren't wearing any.

3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not
eating cereal.

4. Your back goes out but you stay home.



5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.

6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

8. When happy hour is a nap.



9. When you're on vacation and your ENERGY runs out before your
money does.

10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to
you, and you always hated it.

11. When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your
age.

12. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make
sure the street is still there.



13. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

14. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

15. Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.

16. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.



17. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

19. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.

20. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your
bifocals.



21. It takes twice as long to look half as good.

22. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.

23. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your
head the whole time.

24. You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.



25. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.

26. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care
anymore.

27. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling
apart.

28. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even
remember being on top of it.

[Sparkologist]

Good one Janet. i almost pee'd mi pants laughing.

That's another sign of old age i think.

[mrskitty]

Im probably gona be sued for copyright reasons or something but this is one of my fave poems about growing old disgracefully!

WARNING

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens . . .
but maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
Written by Jenny Joseph.

Another of my favourite poems happens to be about being boring, although it has no link in my mind to growing older i may add!

Being Boring

If you ask me 'What's new?', I have nothing to say
Except that the garden is growing.
I had a slight cold but it's better today.
I'm content with the way things are going.
Yes, he is the same as he usually is,
Still eating and sleeping and snoring.
I get on with my work. He gets on with his.
I know this is all very boring.

There was drama enough in my turbulent past:
Tears and passion-I've used up a tankful.
No news is good news, and long may it last,
If nothing much happens, I'm thankful.
A happier cabbage you never did see,
My vegetable spirits are soaring.
If you're after excitement, steer well clear of me.
I want to go on being boring.

I don't go to parties. Well, what are they for,
If you don't need to find a new lover?
You drink and you listen and drink a bit more
And you take the next day to recover.
Someone to stay home with was all my desire
And, now that I've found a safe mooring,
I've just one ambition in life: I aspire
To go on and on being boring.
Written by Wendy Cope.

I think they are fab

[lettie]

You know you're old pwilky when your wild oats have turned into prunes and all bran...

[ANNE]

They brought a smile to my face MissKitty.