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Old 30-09-2014, 12:21   #31
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Re: Well I never?

Retlaw's cork would take your eye out and Accyx's plum would make for an apalling scene if it backfired!
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Old 30-09-2014, 12:51   #32
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Re: Well I never?

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Tell me .......how did we get onto such a juvenile and lavatorial subject?
Blame Canada's equivalent of Sir Les Patterson

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Old 30-09-2014, 12:52   #33
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Re: Well I never?

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Tell me .......how did we get onto such a juvenile and lavatorial subject?
Mea culpa, I'm proud to admit ... but I don't see where the juvenile comes in ... I have "Old Fart" on my cup???
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Old 30-09-2014, 13:00   #34
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Re: Well I never?

Of course, as I often do, I owe a debt to George Carlin



Well, I never
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Old 30-09-2014, 13:19   #35
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Re: Well I never?

Juvenile.......because young boys find bodily gases and lavatory stuff funny.
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Old 30-09-2014, 13:22   #36
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Re: Well I never?

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Retlaw's cork would take your eye out and Accyx's plum would make for an apalling scene if it backfired!
No you couldn't take an eye out there are no aiming sights........if you did take an eye out it would be pure luck.....crappy poor luck!
I agree about the plum though.....but it would be kinder to get in(having softer rounded edges......please don't ask me how I know about these things. An explanation would be sure to put you right off your nose bag)......but messier coming out!
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Old 30-09-2014, 14:16   #37
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Re: Well I never?

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Juvenile.......because young boys find bodily gases and lavatory stuff funny.
Not only young boys ... Shakespeare uses lavatory funny stuff, in "Comedy of Errors" for example ... and it can be found as far back as Chaucer:

From Geoffrey Chaucer's "The Canterbury Tales", The Miller's Tale, lines 698-707

And probably in earlier literatures ... and in the oral traditions of most cultures.

But many of the PC rules governing dress, food and recreation in schools are funny, if one finds "funny" in the ridiculous.
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Old 30-09-2014, 15:24   #38
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Re: Well I never?

I don't doubt that these kinds of humour go back in time.....but is a male thing......to find chaps setting fire to bum gas(why on earth anyone would think singed bum hairs are amusing beats me).....or having contests as to who can hold the longest bum note.....I have never heard of females doing such things.Maybe I have had a sheltered existence.
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Old 30-09-2014, 15:30   #39
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Re: Well I never?

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I don't doubt that these kinds of humour go back in time.....but is a male thing......to find chaps setting fire to bum gas(why on earth anyone would think singed bum hairs are amusing beats me).....or having contests as to who can hold the longest bum note.....I have never heard of females doing such things.Maybe I have had a sheltered existence.
That's 'cause females don't fart all that much ... they don't keep their mouths closed long enough to allow the pressure to build up.
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Old 30-09-2014, 15:43   #40
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(why on earth anyone would think singed bum hairs are amusing beats me).

that only really happens if you do it naked.The clothes provide some protection although it is wise to remove the ignition source ie: lighter before you reach the trail end of a fart.

My ex shoulda lit her farts she thought she had intermitant swolen ankles until i pointed out it was because she was farting while wearing tights
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Old 30-09-2014, 19:24   #41
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Re: Well I never?

Farting Fat Mobile Man:
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Old 30-09-2014, 19:51   #42
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Re: Well I never?

I remember working on a surgical ward and a young man was brought in with quite a roasted bottom.......he had done this by his friend lighting his bum gas.
He used to cry like a baby when we changed the gelonet dressings on his bottom.......all because they were acting the mick.
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Old 30-09-2014, 20:03   #43
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Re: Well I never?

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I remember working on a surgical ward and a young man was brought in with quite a roasted bottom.......he had done this by his friend lighting his bum gas.
He used to cry like a baby when we changed the gelonet dressings on his bottom.......all because they were acting the mick.
Wow! That must have been quite the pet. Fartzilla

But let's not forget the art of fart


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Old 30-09-2014, 20:10   #44
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Re: Well I never?

Whilst we`re discussing farts, lets not forget the good old Dutch Oven
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Old 01-10-2014, 05:30   #45
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Re: Well I never?

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it depends what measurements they are taking to check whether a child is obese or not.
BMI(body mass index) is unreliable because it doesn't take into account that muscular children will weigh more, but that muscles burn calories where fat does not.
The problem of obesity is multifaceted and therefore a 'one size fits all approach' is never going to work.
Also it is wrong to be prescriptive about what parents should include in lunch boxes....it just alienates those who need help......and is counter productive.
It would be far better to give children education in the preparation of healthy food.......in my experience, children are always happy to eat something that they have made.
Just using your eyes and you will see that the figures can't be far wrong
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