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Old 26-12-2012, 23:29   #1
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A Kibab

Where are the instructions?

Whoa hang on, it's not that I'm a complete old fart, I've had them before.

I just think there should be some instructions.

I get it home, unwrap the insulation that protected the environment from the contents, take my first bite...

...then spend an hour cleaning my carpet, computer table, walls etc. of the residue that spurts out of every end, (I'm talking before digestion, not after).
By that time I have put the remains onto a dinner plate to prevent any extra mess.

I'm beginning to understand why most folk wander home eating them straight away, ok they leave a vile trail behind them, the poor old street cleaner has to spend hours scraping the congealed mess off the streets the following day.

Much better he does it out there than I do it in my front room.

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Old 27-12-2012, 02:13   #2
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Re: A Kibab

its KEBAB actually,and the main instructions to eat one are that you must be totally drunk and incapable of walking home,so you get in a taxi and unwrap it in the cab,then you pay 25 pounds for the pleasure of spilling it in his cab,or if you are really lucky you take it home then leave it by your bed and fall asleep and in the morning forget its there and step in it, this is the basic british way we eat and treat kebabs.
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Old 27-12-2012, 07:28   #3
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Re: A Kibab

I think the misspelling is purposeful for the comedic aspect of the thread...

I never get salad on a kebab. Some places put more salad on than meat. Almost everywhere I have been put way too much salad on and pitta bread seems to disintegrate making a kebab hard to eat. If I get a nice large mixed kebab(such as Abduls) I would usually just eat the meat anyway. Too full to eat the bread
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Old 27-12-2012, 08:29   #4
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Re: A Kibab

The answer to this puzzle is really quite simple (well for me, anyway).....don't eat foreign muck.
Have a nice bacon butty instead
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Old 27-12-2012, 08:37   #5
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Re: A Kibab

But Margaret what takeaway sells Bacon Butty's at 11pm after the pub
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Old 27-12-2012, 08:49   #6
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A kebab should always be on naan bread. The pitta bread ones are for amateurs. They should also be drenched in chilli sauce so they can be enjoyed twice. I am the kebab master so I know these things
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Old 27-12-2012, 09:22   #7
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Re: A Kibab

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mick View Post
But Margaret what takeaway sells Bacon Butty's at 11pm after the pub
You could have inadvertently given somebody an idea, just think what a roaring trade a shop selling bacon butties on the way home from the pub would do,
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Old 27-12-2012, 09:31   #8
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Re: A Kibab

Don't think you would find many prepared to sell them on Blackburn road though
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Old 27-12-2012, 10:15   #9
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Re: A Kibab

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Don't think you would find many prepared to sell them on Blackburn road though
um you could be right there Mick
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Old 27-12-2012, 11:24   #10
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Re: A Kibab

I always leave it in the box, eat the meat and some of the salad and leave the bread. And don't have sauce on it - that puts paid to the squirting. Chili sauce seems to be a fairly recent addition anyway - once place I used to go put yogurt on, much more authentic, but can't get that round here.
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Old 27-12-2012, 11:55   #11
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Re: A Kibab

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mick View Post
But Margaret what takeaway sells Bacon Butty's at 11pm after the pub
Oh, Mick...How would I know?...I'm home and in bed by 10pm.(sometimes even earlier)
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Old 27-12-2012, 11:57   #12
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Re: A Kibab

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mick View Post
Don't think you would find many prepared to sell them on Blackburn road though
Can't see any of those guys wanting to cook it either...was in Morrisons last week and the asian check out girl picked up a pack of bacon(which was vacuum packed and already wrapped in plastic) with another plastic carrier bag...and the look on her face was classic.
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Old 27-12-2012, 12:27   #13
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Re: A Kibab

Quote:
Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington View Post
I'm home and in bed by 10pm.(sometimes even earlier)
Yes the bad girls often are!
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Old 27-12-2012, 13:44   #14
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Re: A Kibab

no-on has asked for their money back so I can't be as bad as all theat Less
(and before anyone tells me I'm operating double standards here, after what I said about Dthe P 47...Less is a friend...and has known me - not in a biblical sense - for a long time)
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Old 27-12-2012, 14:15   #15
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Re: A Kibab

I have never eaten one so did some googling to see what I have missed.

Meat scraps (the bits that no-one wants to buy), pounded (ground) into pink paste (the sort of gunge that Jamie Oliver made public knowledge) then hand moulded onto a rod for spitroasting.
Yuk!
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