News of a Different Kind

dotti34 · 17-01-2015, 23:54

A couple of stories in our Sunday paper almost made it worthwhile reading it. At least with my warped sense of humour they made me laugh – which is a nice change these days when most news is so sad and depressing.

The first one was the report of a man who has admitted to having sex with a post-box in Wigan (if you don’t believe me then look it up on Google).

It must have been an exciting partner as the man shouted ‘wow’…

…you might find this hard to believe but he was drunk at the time.

He was ordered to pay compensation to the victim – was this the post box or the woman who saw it all and rang the police? According to the man’s defence lawyer ‘the lady watched for some time and was ashamed, disgusted and upset’.

The other story was that the boy who told of his so-called experiences when he was in a coma – and with the help of his father wrote the best selling book “The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven’ - has now admitted it was all a lie, that he didn’t really go to Heaven. What’s funny about that? His surname happens to be Malarkey.

Turtle · 18-01-2015, 00:15

Thanks for the chuckle, dotti

DtheP47 · 18-01-2015, 05:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by dotti34

A couple of stories in our Sunday paper almost made it worthwhile reading it. At least with my warped sense of humour they made me laugh – which is a nice change these days when most news is so sad and depressing.

The first one was the report of a man who has admitted to having sex with a post-box in Wigan (if you don’t believe me then look it up on Google).

It must have been an exciting partner as the man shouted ‘wow’…

…you might find this hard to believe but he was drunk at the time.

He was ordered to pay compensation to the victim – was this the post box or the woman who saw it all and rang the police? According to the man’s defence lawyer ‘the lady watched for some time and was ashamed, disgusted and upset’.

The other story was that the boy who told of his so-called experiences when he was in a coma – and with the help of his father wrote the best selling book “The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven’ - has now admitted it was all a lie, that he didn’t really go to Heaven. What’s funny about that? His surname happens to be Malarkey.

They won't be needing those pesky elastic bands on the envelopes from that mailbox then !!

Accyexplorer · 18-01-2015, 06:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by dotti34

A couple of stories in our Sunday paper almost made it worthwhile reading it. At least with my warped sense of humour they made me laugh – which is a nice change these days when most news is so sad and depressing.

The first one was the report of a man who has admitted to having sex with a post-box in Wigan (if you don’t believe me then look it up on Google).

It must have been an exciting partner as the man shouted ‘wow’…

…you might find this hard to believe but he was drunk at the time.

He was ordered to pay compensation to the victim – was this the post box or the woman who saw it all and rang the police? According to the man’s defence lawyer ‘the lady watched for some time and was ashamed, disgusted and upset’.

The other story was that the boy who told of his so-called experiences when he was in a coma – and with the help of his father wrote the best selling book “The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven’ - has now admitted it was all a lie, that he didn’t really go to Heaven. What’s funny about that? His surname happens to be Malarkey.

I refused to believe it,so I googled it and sure enough there it was.
Why the lady watched for so long if she was ashamed/disgusted and upset is anyone's guess.
Personally, I think that chap was punching above his weight,that post box was clearly out his league

Shurm · 18-01-2015, 07:32

It would take some filling !!!

dotti34 · 18-01-2015, 08:17

Maybe he should have gone to Specsavers!

DaveinGermany · 18-01-2015, 13:19

Were French letters involved?

wadey · 19-01-2015, 15:26

Drunk man tried to have sex with postbox in middle of shopping arcade - Manchester Evening News

wadey · 19-01-2015, 15:26

He thought it was a pie

Gordon Booth · 19-01-2015, 15:48

He's had to sign the Sex Offenders Register?
For having sex with a postbox called 'Wow'?

Well, looks like even Post Boxes have Human Rights these days.

Mind you, looking at his photo I'll bet the Post Box said 'No', so I suppose it's fair.

westendlass · 19-01-2015, 17:33

Perhaps it was the postbox's gorgeous red lips that attracted him! :

DtheP47 · 30-01-2015, 08:50

Snow joke

Accyexplorer · 24-02-2015, 11:57

I appologise in advance but, I didn't think this warranted a a thread all of its own.
Here is some "News of a different kind" (good news),a charity set up for Alan Davis,a chap who pretty much had a bum deal from the word go then got mugged by a scumbag has raised over £330k for the poor chap.
Alan Barnes Fund by Katie Cutler - GoFundMe.

In addition to this generosity and compassion they've also caught the scumbag who mugged him:-
Man In Court Accused Of Mugging Alan Barnes

Alan Barnes: RECAP as man pleads GUILTY to mugging disabled pensioner - Mirror Online

His Facebook account reflects a level of scumbaggery too.
https://m.facebook.com/richard.gatis...topic.php&_rdr

Hopefully (if he is guilty) he'll get the book thrown at him and serve a lengthy sentence.