2019/20 Prediction League; Game 6 v MK Dons (home)

Div3North · 29-08-2019, 21:32

Accrington Stanley

V

Milton Keynes Dons

2019/20 Prediction League; Game 6 v The MK PhoneyWombles (home)

As this week’s shenanigans were unfolding, I was moved – as I am in Times of Trouble – to look at the stats, to see if there was anything positive to reflect on……………. And there is, in a Gallows Humour sort of way………the sad demise of The Black Puddings of Bury has the effect that we can definitely say, with Bolton’s Survival, that only 3 sides will be relegated from League One this season ………………and that means that our statistical risk of sliding the Greasy Pole of Oblivion has reduced from 16.67% to a much more manageable 13.04% (if Bolton had pegged out as well it would have been 9.09%, and no-one would have gone down from League 2 to the Bananarama!) …………… it’s not much, maybe, but it’s there; personally I’d have preferred 16.67% and Bury staying in………… be interesting to see what the EFL’s position is now that Rock Solid Financially Secure New Purchasers have come riding across the Plains of Lancashire onto the scene at the 12th hour and 15th minute (which is traditionally too late)

And, of course, with Bury being Expunged – first time since Maidstone and Aldershot (separately) in 1992 – another undefeated League One record this season has come to an end (well they were unbeaten, technically)………………. Unless they let them back in!

MK PhoneyWombles are 16 years old this year, apparently, which means that they can get married (with parental permission), ride a moped or invalid carriage, and drink alcohol with a meal if accompanied by someone over 18 ……………….. oh, and consent to nookie with someone of like age or greater. They were formed when someone moved Wimbledon 50-odd miles up the M1 in the middle of the night; MK (as it’s known locally) was first designated as a New Town (an overspill for London, originally) in 1967; it appears to have little to recommend it (unless you want a Peace Pagoda – the first built in Europe - and if you study the pictures you’ll see why); it was named after one of the villages on the site on which it was constructed ………….. and having been there once, I can confirm that the best thing about MK is the road going out of it “Oop North” …………. And I can’t actually work out why “MK Dons” always reminds me of Horace Batchelor (the guy from K-E-Y-N-S-H-A-M) on Radio Luxemburg, but it does ………………… Hands up who remembers Horace?

Having purloined the old Wimbledon FC (see “Crazy Gang”) and fled, they began their League career in 2004 in League 1; in 2004/05 they finished 20th, avoiding relegation by the skin of their teeth and on GD (-13 plays -25, which put Torquay into the bottom tier); in that year the leading scorer in League 1 was one Dean “Don’t Sign Anything” Windass …… twelve months on they were relegated in 22nd place, two points and twelve goals off safety…………… that might have been, in part, due to the fact that the 9th highest goal scorer in League One that year was one Dean Windass ……………… They went back up in 2007/08, winning League Two at a bit of a canter, with 97 points and 82 goals scored, giving them a GD of +45, none of which Dean Windass scored, because he’d moved to Hull ………….. In 2014/15 they finished runners-up and were promoted to the Championship in the automatic places (sandwiched between Bristol Citties – champions - and PNE, who won the playoff final 4-0 against Swindon); their stay was but one season, going down again between Charlton and Bolton in 23rd; they finished 12th in 2015/16, bombed down the Greasy Pole in 2016/17, and were promoted back to League One at the first attempt, along with Lincoln and RIP Bury ………….. whore’s drawers? – You’d better believe it

By the way, talking about Deano Windassio, I found this report in the Independent of a minor transgression in the 1997/98 season while playing at Aberdeen in November 1997 at Dundee United …………….

• The Aberdeen striker Dean Windass will be out of action until Christmas after receiving a massive 22 penalty points at Dundee United on Sunday. Referee Stuart Dougal's match report reveals Windass was effectively sent off three times in the opening half of the Dons' 5-0 Scottish League Premier Division defeat.
• Windass was initially dismissed for two bookable offences, but his dissent at Dougal earned a further red-card equivalent. To compound matters Windass ripped up the corner flag and threw it on to the ground on his way to the tunnel, securing another eight points.

Caretaker Manager Keith Burkinshaw said,

"It is imperative that players learn not to lose their discipline, as Dean has found to his cost."

Are you listening, Sean?

Promotion at the end of last season – and it was touch and go at one stage – was followed by the traditional Summer Solstice Sacrifice of Unwanted Players; eleven left (6 were released, including Liam Sole and Finn Tapp – I kid you not; someone went to the part of Solihull were there ARE NO MOORS, Chuks Aneke (isn’t he an MP?) joined the Addicks, Mathieu Baudry – distantly related to Long John Baudry – went to Swindon, MF Ousseynou Cisse joined That Nice Mr Evans at Gillingham, and MF Ryan Watson went to the Cobblers (his shoes will be ready next Friday, apparently) ……………. Eight replaced them, including MF Hiram Boateng from Exeter, forward Jordan Bowery from Crewe, MF Brennan Dickenson from Colchester, 3 free agents, Cardiff’s Rhys Harley, and Regan Poole from Man U on a free; Regan, you may recall, signed for Man U - to some publicity – from Newport when he was just 17; he went on, as far as I can tell, to appear for the Red Devils as an 89th-minute sub in a Europa League game, spent last year on loan at Northants, and was released in the summer ……………. How transient is fame …………

So far they’ve played 4, won 2, lost 2, scored 5 and conceded 8; they beat the Shrews 1-0 at home, and Lincoln 2-1, also at home; they lost 3-2 at Wycombe in the 90th minute, and were thrashed 4-0 at home by the Posh, and also dumped the ProperWombles out of the EFL Cup (the Caribou, or the Elk, or something, isn’t it, this year?) 4-2 on pens after a Desmond, followed by pasting Southend in Round Two (4-1 away) …………….. Leading League scorers are Healey, Bowery, Houghton, Brittain and Williams with one each ……………. Our League record against them, from 2006/07 and 2007/08 is P4 L4 GF4 GA13 Pts 0, and includes defeats by 3-1, 4-3 and 5-0 …………. Mmmmmm!

Between August 2004 and August 2019 – 15 years – they’ve had 13 managers, and given that Karl Robinson was there for 6 ½ years, that doesn’t say much for the longevity of the others …………….. best known – KR apart – are probably “Mad Dog” Martin Allan (“Mad Dog” suggests a huge slavering hound, but he could have been a piddling chihuahua for all we know), Paul Ince (twice) and Roberto di Matteo ………. Coaches include Robbie Fowler, Dietmar Hamann and Alex Rae ……….. Record League win was 7-0 against Oldham; heaviest defeat is 5-0, which they’ve achieved – if that’s the right word – five times (Burnley, Carlisle, Rochdale, Huddersfield and Hartlepool); their most expensive signing was Kieran Agard, for whom they paid £haven’taclue, and when they sold Dele Alli to Spurs in February 2015 they pocketed a cool £5 million

At this precise moment the Stanley have played four games and got one point; that puts them exactly level, results wise, with AccyMad, Wynonie and me in the Prediction League ………….. in case you’re interested ………..

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm on Saturday 31st August (what happened to the Summer we were promised?) ………. While the EFL try to work out how to get nice, well-mannered, honest owners of clubs, and Boris suspends Democracy, Stanley’s thoughts turn to that age-old problem – where the hell’s our next goal coming from?

Good luck to everyone! ………… Keep the Faith! …………….. And thanks for playing!