Accrington Web - 2017/18 Prediction League; Game 33 v Crewe Alexandra (home)

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Crewe Alexandra

2017/18 Prediction League; Game 33 v Crewe (home)

If I might paraphrase Kermit the Frog (which isn’t actually illegal, whatever you thought), “It’s not easy being Crewe” ............... they started well enough, and after 6 games they were fourth in the table with 3 wins, 2 draws and one defeat; since then they’ve played 25 more games, winning 6, drawing one (on Saturday against Yeovil, reported in terms that

• “Relegation-threatened Crewe lacked quality in the final third as they had to settle for a goalless draw with Yeovil”)

(and judging from the highlights on Goal Rush they were utterly awful) and losing the other 18 ................ before the Goalless Bore – sorry, draw – with Yeovil they’d lost the previous four (1-0 at Carlisle, 3-2 at home to Wycombe PocketPickers, 4-3 at Swindon and 4-1 at Notts County) .......... after us they play Colchester, Exeter and Lincoln (away), and you don’t see a lot of points heading Gresty-wards from those four ............... Manager David Artell, by the way, described the Yeovil game as;

• “A step in the right direction, but it could have been bigger”

At least, I think he said “bigger”

That’s bad enough, of course, but they’ve failed to score 11 times in the League, they’ve lost 19 times (the worst of anybody), their 35 goals scored is better only than six other teams and their 53 conceded is only worsened by Chesterfield (54) and Vegan Greenpeace (55) ................... they’ve picked up one point in their last five (Barnet have got 5, and VGU and The Twisty-Spires have got 6 each), and the gap which had been opening at the bottom of the table is closing rapidly again; apart from Crewe’s singleton point, Morecambe and Portly Vale (19th and 20th) have only won 3 points (all draws) in five ............. second in the currents Dunces’ List, by the way, are Grimsby (no wins in twelve, and two points in their last five games) .............actually, of course, that should have read “Manager-less” Grimsby, Russell Slade having made the Walk of Shame today, following Shaun “Toast” Derry’s departure from Cambridge after Friday Night’s 0-0 against Lincoln .............. “Good point, Our Shaun – you’re fired” (by MutualConsent) .............. I half expected “I feel that I’ve taken the Club as far as I can”, but at least we were spared that!

As I say, “It’s not easy being Crewe”

They didn’t really bother foraying into the Transfer Market, apart from selling CM George Cooper to The Posh and loaning in three to the end of the season, they being Oldham MF Paul Grant, Newcastle MF Daniel Barlaser (who played at u16 and u17 level for Turkey on account of having a Turkish Dad (delightful!) and Aston Villa’s striker Harry McKirdy (whose picture on the Crewe website suggests that he’s about 8!)

They lasted one round of the EFL Cup (they were caught by the Trotters, if you’ll pardon the expression, 1-2); they managed two rounds of the FA Cup, beating Rotherham 2-1, before losing by the odd goal in one to Blackburn in a Second Round replay following an away 3-3 draw; and they lost all three games in the EFLTroffy ...........All in all, then, they’ve played 31 in the League and seven in the Cups (= 38), and scored 35 + 9 (44), conceding 53 + 14 (67) .............. leading scorers are Chris Porter with 12 and skipper Chris Dagnall (currently out of the team with a knee injury) with 7

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 7.45pm on Tuesday 13th February, which is Shrove Tuesday, the following day being Valentine’s Day ............... which is nice ................ According to The Sun, Shrove Tuesday is a Very Old Custom deriving from “Shriving” (which is the only eight-letter word that The Sun knows! Oh, hang on, no - they know B-a-l-l-c-o-c-k-s as well! Except that's nine letters .....). It seems – and if it’s in The Sun it must be right – that it was a confession of the sins and the receipt of absolution from them ............. a bit like paying a Fixed Penalty for speeding, then .................The Sun said,

• "This tradition is very old. Over 1000 years ago a monk wrote, 'In the week immediately before Lent everyone shall go to his confessor and confess his deeds and the confessor shall shrive him.'"

So don’t say I didn’t warn you! (Isn’t this educational? Mind you, a few years ago I didn’t know what “educated” meant, but now I are it ....)

Anyway; we went to theirs in October and won fairly comfortably (2-0, goals from William Whizz and Jordan Clark); last season we beat them 1-0 away (Billy K again!) and 3-2 at home, with two from Hughesie and one from Sean McBratfud (who tripped over the keeper on Saturday, but instead of appealing for a penalty, got up and stuck the ball in the net); wonder who their new Manager’s going to be?

Seven wins in eight, I make it? Second in the table, 58 points from 31; 55 goals scored, which is only bettered by Luton (68) and Wycombe (60), and 18 wins in those 31 played, second only to the Hatters (19), but they’ve played 32................. Anyone tell me the last time we had 58 points, 18 wins and three scorers in the Goal scoring table in mid February? Or any of those, come to that?

Can we, though, be very careful, lads, that the Voodoo Gods of Footie don’t bite us in the bum on Tuesday? You never know the day, do you? ............. or the Gods ........ or the bum!

Good luck to everyone! ............ Keep the Faith! ............ And thanks for playing!

Oh, and by the way, Crewe's away record for this season is 3 wins, 12 defeats, GF14 and GA29 - 9 points from 15 games ............ Make of that what you will!

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