Accrington Web - 2018/19 Prediction League; Game 27 v Brizzle Rovers (home)

Accrington Stanley

Bristol Rovers

2018/19 Prediction League; Game 27 v The Brizzle Gasmen (home)

In view of Stoke’s history of sacking managers after a short time in office, Nathan Jones must be Out Of His Tiny Mind to resign from the Louts and take the Manager’s Poisoned Chalice at Stoke. Discuss ..................

In 1998 Stoke were managed by Chic Bates (33 games), Chris Kamara (14 games), Alan Durban (5) and Brian Little (52) – who lasted into 1999; in 2002 they employed – briefly - Guðjón Þórðarson (Icelandic), Steve Cotterill (13), Dave Kevan (4) and Tony Pulis; in 2018 they got through Mark Hughes, Eddie Niedzwiecki (1), Paul Lambert (15 games, of which he won two, thus fitting him absolutely to manage Ipsoswitch) and Gary Rowett (29, of which he won 9) .................. Some of them may have been caretaker-managers, but still you’d have to be barking (or desperate, or maybe arrogant) to work there .................. Woof! They were also managed, back in the day, by Lou Macaroni (twice), Joe Jordan and Asa Hartford ............ Woof woof!

Gary Rowett walked the Plank of Disappointed Ambition after he took one of the pre-season favourites for promotion, and turned them into a side in the lower third of the Championship ................... Darrell Clarke at the Gas, on the other hand, took a side which finished last season in 19th place, had them in the Greasy Pole of Oblivion spots for most of the current season, and left after a 4-0 home thrashing by Donnie (actually, more of a birching than a thrashing) ................... their record when he went was 17 points from 21 (four adrift of safety behind the Iron) and 7 defeats in their last 10 (four of them at home) ............ Graham Coughlan (who?) has taken hold of the reins, though whether they’re attached to a horse remains to be seen ....... to be fair, they’ve won three and drawn one of their last four ........... but then again, once upon a time we were 4th in the table ..........

We met in Game 2, doing them 2-1 away for our first ever League One Victory (goals by Sean McPlayerOfTheSeason on 6 and 89) ..... since we met they’ve done little in the Transfer Market (except loan lots of players to non-League sides and ProperSign strikers Stefan Payne from the Shrews and Deon Moore from Merstham – it’s in Surrey (with a fringe on top!) - and then loan Moore to Bath (if I were them I'd play him at hooker)); they’ve not made any reported moves yet since the WWSSRP (the Winter Window for Silly Signings at Ridiculous Prices) opened, but there’s still time

They lasted one round of the FA Cup, losing 2-1 to Barnet of the Bananarama at home after half a Desmond away (The Bees now having Brentford at the Hive in Round Four!) ............ they’re also in the EFLTroffy 4th Round, are Brizzle, having done the Cobblers 2-1 away in Round 3 ........ the EFL Cup saw them beat Crawley 2-1 in Round One before losing to QPR 3-1 away in Round Two ..................... In the League, then, at home it’s W3 D3 L7 GF11 GA16; away it’s W4 D3 L6 GF14 GA13 for an overall P26 W7 D6 L13 GF25 GA29, and 27 points, putting them 20th, above Bratfud on GD (there’s isn;t as bad as Bratfud’s is (-4 plays -9). Innit.

25 League goals, 29 given away, plus 13 scored and 11 conceded in 9 cup games, meaning 35 games, 38 scored and 40 conceded; leading (League) scorers are wine guru Ollie Clarke with 4 (one goal per 529 minutes), Tom Lockyer with 3 (one every 613 minutes), and loads of people with 2 each, scored at the rate of about one every ten years ................ And you might also want to know that they’ve failed to score in 11 of their 26 League games ..... and I was impressed to read that one of their pre-season triumphs was against Eindhoven ................. until I realised that it was FC Eindhoven, not PSV ........ Rats!

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm on Saturday 12th January (soon be Christmas!) We’ve taken 6 points from a possible 33, which ain’t good, and not scored in our last two ......... in addition, our squad has been ravaged – nay, savaged – and this isn’t a good time to be having to try and meld a new First XI (if people still do meld things – I know I do) ............. Wilkins Micawber managed to get through life by believing “something will turn up”, but I don’t know that we’re as sanguine as that, or that we can afford to be; the Voodoo Gods of Football aren’t famed for Smiling on the Just ............. I just have a little bit of a Troubled Mind. Hope I’m worrying for nothing!

And the form team in the Starter for Ten is, believe it or not, Bratfud; won 4, lost one ........... and chief Nincompoops, with one point from their last 15, are Wycombe (lost their last four), and Deputy Chief Nincompoops with 2/15 are Walsall .................... So!

Good luck to everyone! ............. Don’t be a Lidl, be a Waitrose! ................ Keep the Faith! .................... And thanks for playing!

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