Accrington Web > Search Forums Search Results

User Name Remember Me? Password

Welcome to Accrington Web! We are a discussion forum dedicated to the towns of Accrington, Oswaldtwistle and the surrounding areas, sometimes referred to as Hyndburn! We are a friendly bunch please feel free to browse or read on for more info. You are currently viewing our site as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, photos, play in the community arcade and use our blog section. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please, join our community today!

Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

Showing results 1 to 25 of 28 Search took 0.00 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: JohnW

Forum: Anything Goes 22-06-2005, 19:01

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day Scouse Vasectomy After having their 11th child, a Scouse couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his...

Forum: Anything Goes 26-05-2005, 15:09

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. The first man had married a woman from Albania, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all...

Forum: Anything Goes 27-08-2004, 11:55

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day Sensitive men do exist A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his apartment and she notices that his bedroom is ...

Forum: Anything Goes 27-08-2004, 11:53

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day How a Blonde's Garden Grows A beautiful blonde woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll she came upon a gentlemen neighbour...

Forum: Anything Goes 23-08-2004, 19:46

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day I think we'll have to start calling you "Sarcologist", what do you think?;)

Forum: Anything Goes 16-08-2004, 17:33

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches the bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine,...

Forum: Anything Goes 12-08-2004, 12:18

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day Chinese Torture. A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost,"...

Forum: Anything Goes 06-08-2004, 11:44

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day There are two Mexicans who have been lost in the desert for weeks and they're at death's door. They stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, then they suddenly...

Forum: Anything Goes 03-08-2004, 19:56

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day Husbands For Sale Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive...

Forum: Anything Goes 02-08-2004, 12:43

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day Letters to councils - you won't believe it These are extracts from actual letter sent to various councils and housing associations thoughout the UK: I want some repairs done to my cooker as it...

Forum: Anything Goes 02-08-2004, 10:53

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day Ah, sweet harmony.

Forum: Anything Goes 30-07-2004, 11:52

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY JULY 30th. NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE...

Forum: Anything Goes 29-07-2004, 12:15

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day Rules for boys:- Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter...

Forum: Anything Goes 27-07-2004, 11:12

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day The top 100 funny Bumper Stickers 4 out of 5 voices in my head say Go For It! A hundred thousand sperm and you were the fastest? A real gentleman wouldn't stare at my stickers. Answer my...

Forum: Anything Goes 26-07-2004, 18:08

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day This little guy steps into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy, seeing the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20...

Forum: Anything Goes 07-07-2004, 12:44

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day So the new super duper multiple choice brothel opens in town and the guy goes along to sample the delights. He pays his fee at the door and goes to the first room. There are three doors Brunette,...

Forum: Anything Goes 16-06-2004, 12:38

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day Don and Jo were having some problems at home and were giving each other the "silent treatment." But then Don realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for an early morning drive...

Forum: Anything Goes 15-06-2004, 12:16

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day While nursing a drink at a bar, a young woman was distressed to see a drunken unkept man sit down next to her. "Say, honey-baby... I'd really like t'get into those pants o'yours." "Thanks,"...

Forum: Anything Goes 09-06-2004, 18:37

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day Directions on "How to call the Police" George Phillips of Meridian Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see...

Forum: Anything Goes 09-06-2004, 18:18

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day Oh Janet, you are awful, but I like you!

Forum: Anything Goes 09-06-2004, 14:14

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you...

Forum: Anything Goes 04-06-2004, 11:40

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day Essex girls Two Essex girls walk up to a perfume counter and pick up a Sample bottle, Sharon sprays it on her wrist and smells it, "That's quite nice innit, don't you fink Trace?" "Yeah, what's...

Forum: Anything Goes 04-06-2004, 11:31

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day Who Is Jack Schitt? The Lineage Revealed Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, “You don't know Jack Schitt.” Now you can handle the situation. Jack is the only son...

Forum: Anything Goes 03-06-2004, 19:53

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day Well, thank you very much Janet, how ya doin'?

Forum: Anything Goes 03-06-2004, 16:23

Replies: 2,284 Sticky: Joke Of The Day Views: 163,837 Posted By JohnW Re: Joke Of The Day I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and...

Showing results 1 to 25 of 28

Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

Other sites of interest..	More town sites..
Land Rover Forum and Gallery	Rossendale Forum