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jokes
what happened when jesus went to mount olive ?
popeye kicked the S*** out of him
Two ducks check into a hotel for a dirty weekend. They get up to their room, only to discover they've no condoms. "No problem," quacks the male, "I'll just call down to room service and get them to bring one up."
A few minutes later, room service is knocking at the door. The male duck waddles over, takes the condom and tips the lad.
"Sir," asks the man, before leaving, "should I put that on your bill?"
"Christ no!" quacks the duck, startled, "what do you think I am, some kind of pervert?!"
An elderly man walks into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a really young girl for the night. The old steamer gives him a puzzled look and asks the fellow how old he is. "Why," the man says, "I'm 98 years old." "Ninety-eight!" the madam exclaims. "Don't you realise you've had it?" "Oh," he says, "how much do I owe you, then?"
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