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Billcat · 12-05-2005, 15:48

And one for those in northern reaches of the UK (or anyone with a sense of humor):

PROTOCOL: Bagpipes
INVESTIGATOR: J. Maxfield
DESCRIPTION: Put the phone down on the table. Continue playing bagpipes.
RESULTS: 100% success (one out of one cases)

More ideas:

PROTOCOL: Youth
INVESTIGATOR: A. Shapir
DESCRIPTION: Hand over the phone to your two years old child.
RESULTS: Good. The only drawback of this method is that it requires a steady supply of two years old children. Unfortunately, mine has run out (or rather, grown out).
PROTOCOL: Savings plan
INVESTIGATOR: S. Cohen
DESCRIPTION: A protocol that a Methodist minister friend suggested has been working excellently. Say "I'm so glad you've called. Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?"
RESULTS: To date I have not had a single telemarketer last through "as your" - hang-up is usually within milliseconds of the end of "Christ". I have no idea what I will do if they *do* last through the whole spiel -- I am Jewish.

12-05-2005, 15:48	#12
Billcat Foreign Correspondent Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Colony of New Jersey Posts: 694 Liked: 0 times Rep Power: 54	Re: 20 responses to telesales!! And one for those in northern reaches of the UK (or anyone with a sense of humor): PROTOCOL: Bagpipes INVESTIGATOR: J. Maxfield DESCRIPTION: Put the phone down on the table. Continue playing bagpipes. RESULTS: 100% success (one out of one cases) More ideas: PROTOCOL: Youth INVESTIGATOR: A. Shapir DESCRIPTION: Hand over the phone to your two years old child. RESULTS: Good. The only drawback of this method is that it requires a steady supply of two years old children. Unfortunately, mine has run out (or rather, grown out). PROTOCOL: Savings plan INVESTIGATOR: S. Cohen DESCRIPTION: A protocol that a Methodist minister friend suggested has been working excellently. Say "I'm so glad you've called. Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?" RESULTS: To date I have not had a single telemarketer last through "as your" - hang-up is usually within milliseconds of the end of "Christ". I have no idea what I will do if they do last through the whole spiel -- I am Jewish. __________________ When in darkness or in doubt, visit Oswaldtwistle!