[Sparkologist]

Idiot's Guide To Sex.

• A condominium is NOT the smallest size they make.
• If your wife tells you sex is a 'pain in the ass', turn her over.
• A threesome does not mean letting the dog watch you use both hands.
• A porn shop will not give you money for your used stuff. That's a pawn shop.
• Doing the missionary position does not mean you have sex in a church.
• If she says "doggy style," Do NOT whip down to the local RSPCA.
• Kama Sutra is not a martial art, therefore don't tell your lover that you have a black belt in it.
• "Well-endowed" is not a reference to the size of your bank account.
• If your stomach hurts it is not an orgasm, more likely indigestion or appendicitis.