[lettie]

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock
a buzzard off a truck at 100 yards.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really
dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and
over again until your
friends want to smash your head in.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay things like thish.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY THINK
while photocopying your bum at the office Christmas party.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened
to your pants
anyway.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see
something really scary.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the
forehead.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, more
handsome, and smarter than some really, really, really big biker guy named
"Big Al."

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are
not.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with
other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum,
whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally
disappear.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.