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lettie · 09-06-2004, 20:29

There are certain situations in life which require some etiquette. Dining at a posh restaurant, meeting the Queen, weddings etc. I'm a big believer that a level of decorum should be applied in all manner of situations. So gentlemen here is the B.J. Etiquette...

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.

2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.

3. I don't care WHAT they did in the blue video you saw, it is not standard practice to come on someone's face.

4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.

5. My ears are NOT handles.

6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your d**k?

7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.

8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like **** so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to bl*w you just because YOU can't have sex right now.

9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go j**k off and leave me alone with my Midol.

10. If I have to pause to remove organic dental floss from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.

11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games, smoke a cigarette, watch TV...etc.... immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.

12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.

13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content, or its calorific value as part of a calorie controlled diet.

14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV, smoke a cigarette, drink, etc....

15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get b.j.'s often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.

16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning."

09-06-2004, 20:29	#513
lettie Filthy / Gorgeous Bejeweled Blitz Champion! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Xanadu Posts: 4,005 Blog Entries: 337 Liked: 67 times Rep Power: 88670	Re: Joke Of The Day There are certain situations in life which require some etiquette. Dining at a posh restaurant, meeting the Queen, weddings etc. I'm a big believer that a level of decorum should be applied in all manner of situations. So gentlemen here is the B.J. Etiquette... 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it. 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful. 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the blue video you saw, it is not standard practice to come on someone's face. 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow. 5. My ears are NOT handles. 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dk? 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart. 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like ** so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blw you just because YOU can't have sex right now. 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go j*k off and leave me alone with my Midol. 10. If I have to pause to remove organic dental floss from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you. 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games, smoke a cigarette, watch TV...etc.... immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future. 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude. 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content, or its calorific value as part of a calorie controlled diet. 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV, smoke a cigarette, drink, etc.... 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get b.j.'s often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag. 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning." __________________ Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. The views expressed here are my own and not necessarily those of my family, friends, employer, this site, my neighbours, hairdresser, dentist, GP, next door's dog or anyone else who knows me..