Hello (condescening smile into camera), are you between 50 & 172 years of age? Have you gone completly Ga-Ga? (Condescending smile & a wink to the camera), GOOD!
Now what my Friend John Windsor & I would like you to do is send us a large portion of your monthly income between now & the time you pop your clogs. (Sincere & butter wouldn't melt in your mouth look to camera), In return for this we will send you, this beuti.... (laughs to herself off camera), erm beutifu........(chokes on a cough), we will send you this carriage clock that you would turn your nose up to if you saw it in a pound shop down town! There are no guarantees with this after death policy except that no matter how long you live for if you were to try & cash it in before you died you would find that the policy is completely worthless.
If however you are one of the fortunate people that live right up until you die, then you can continue paying with the knowledge that it might not be of much use to you but it's getting my swimming pool in Spain re-tiled. When you do die however you can claim back all that you paid in except for a small amount that we will keep back because of the wear & tear you have caused to the carriage clock.
(At a rough estimate this figure could be anywhere between 99 & 100% depending on your circumstances at time of demise).
So good-bye from me your rather superior friend June.
:emotion-3
