Why Women Are Crabby....?

mez · 20-08-2006, 11:47

"Why Women Are Crabby"

We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it' was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the
WAY TO ER

Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %*#!* (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

Then come their "Teen Years." Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...

So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.

SORRY GIRLS JUST COULD NOT RESIST

katex · 20-08-2006, 11:57

Gosh Mez, put like that all in a few paragraphs, makes me realise how wonderful we are really, and definitely the stronger sex as per your conclusion.

The obvious would be to say, will come back as a fella' .. but feeling quite proud now.

accymel · 20-08-2006, 12:37

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! I so hate being a female, are there any positives to being one ??? lol somehow the bad is greater than the good points

Grrrrr MEN & CHILDREN grrrrr in same sentence peed off mmmmmm impending PMT mood possibly

me thinks its a punishment lol

Men do not realise the shear privelege of not having their body, moods & life impeded & they think living with a woman is bad - mmmmm

guys thats nowt LOL!!

My next life i want to be a bloke!!

to at least so i can draw yellow smileys in the snow - without need of catheter

Sorry for my post - blame PMT hehehehe

accymel · 20-08-2006, 12:39

Oh dear ive got a raging hormonal nag bag in training as well

katex · 20-08-2006, 12:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by accymel

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! I so hate being a female, are there any positives to being one ??? lol somehow the bad is greater than the good points

Grrrrr MEN & CHILDREN grrrrr in same sentence peed off mmmmmm impending PMT mood possibly

me thinks its a punishment lol

Men do not realise the shear privelege of not having their body, moods & life impeded & they think living with a woman is bad - mmmmm

guys thats nowt LOL!!

My next life i want to be a bloke!!

Sorry for my post - blame PMT hehehehe

Put like that Accymel, think ya' right.

accymel · 20-08-2006, 12:43

hehehehehe katex of course women are always right

specially armed with pmt & certain items of sharp cutlery

pmsl

katex · 20-08-2006, 12:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by accymel

hehehehehe katex of course women are always right

specially armed with pmt & certain items of sharp cutlery

pmsl

Well, don't have to put up with certain monthly thingies every month now .. you have that to look forward to at least

In the meantime, think I will >>>>>>>>>>>>> speak nicely to ya'.

grannyclaret · 20-08-2006, 13:19

me too.....lol

accymel · 20-08-2006, 14:19

Oooooppppssssss

accymel · 20-08-2006, 14:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by katex

Well, don't have to put up with certain monthly thingies every month now .. you have that to look forward to at least

Then will have pleasures of menopause

so we dont get away with it do we? lol

Ianto.W. · 20-08-2006, 22:12

Any man under the age of forty considering marriage (to a woman) should have to undergo three psychiatric evaluations, any man considering getting married for the second time should be incarcerated in a secure mental hospital and fed with a rubber spoon. Women do not improve with age. Take Metx advice women have nothing going for them, next time try the real thing.

katex · 20-08-2006, 22:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ianto.W.

Women do not improve with age.

A challenge girls !!! Being one of the senior members amongst us, would like to show this one how wrong he can be !!!.. having gone through all points on this thread, come through the tunnel strong, vibrant and definitely still active. Uuumph .. ... uumph ..ummph.

Accymel, may I borrow that carving knife of yours ..

cashman · 20-08-2006, 22:25

very well put mez but you forgot to put no1= MEN

garinda · 20-08-2006, 22:27

I love women...though I couldn't eat a whole one.

Busman747 · 20-08-2006, 22:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ianto.W.

Any man under the age of forty considering marriage (to a woman) should have to undergo three psychiatric evaluations, any man considering getting married for the second time should be incarcerated in a secure mental hospital and fed with a rubber spoon. Women do not improve with age. Take Metx advice women have nothing going for them, next time try the real thing.

Oo' er, I am married for the third time - and loving it Just in case my circumstances change Ianto, can you explain "the real thing?" Do I contact you or Rindy? Naw, I'll stick with what I have, neurotic or not! At the end of the day, ladies can be very special. Thanks for the advice anyway.