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sealed their trouser legs with elastic bands

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so Gordon was left with 200 toilet rolls! Any offers?

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Hopefully he'll get his £3 back from poundland thought AccyEx

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but it was half day closing

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And besides, Gordon was a postcode lottery winner so...

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he could corner the market in toilet rolls

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"I'll wipe the floor with by budget rivals" he thought

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and he had the cleanest bottom in England:D

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I'll make it quadruple quilted and rose scented thought Gordon

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this stories a right load of sh1t.:D

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Said Cashy.

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,annoyed he couldn't buy any toilet paper

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Gordon reiterated

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Gordon then didn't reiterate!

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Michael wouldn't amend his posts. Awkward sod!

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But Michael couldn't get toilet paper either so he

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Used the next best thing: The S*n.

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But the texture wasn't as good as the old Observer

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Soon,the moment they'd all been waiting for was here...

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The prunes had arrived.

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Everybody enjoyed them, soon Gordon had sold all his rolls.

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Margaret opened a window. "Give it 5 minutes," she said.

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But Gordon had no rolls left so when he needed

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The lavatory,he was up sh1t creek without a paddle.

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Should have said without paper...Not nice.....Jewish method then?

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I dare not ask!

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a finger..preferably with very short nails(:D)

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'I don't believe it!'. Disgusting.

There was a shortage of prunes, the price went up.

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so the gang ate blind custard counteracting the laxative effects

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It cured the gallops but they all went blind!

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Meanwhile, in another part of town, an announcement was made

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`free ale tomorrow`

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and Michael had bought 200 white sticks!

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"it's time you rowdy lot left the premisses" said....

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The doorman,and with that they all headed into town.

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The Railway was shut, still cleaning the toilet floors, so

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They thought 'sod it' and opted to visit Eric...

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Eric was upstairs drinking his yazoo

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,I mean Eric was drinking whisky and playing the yazoo

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which gave him pleasure but annoyed the neighbours

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but didn't take much to annoy the neighbours

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who appeared to take great satisfaction in curtain twitching and

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telling all who would listen to

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good music in the radio

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He started dancing to Agadoo

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which was strange. Eric hated Black Lace ever since he tried to impress a young office girl by singing Superman to her along with all the arm movements. He didn't realise until it was too late

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So he thought "sod This" and rolled a joint,

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it was a joint of brisket.

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but it was only when he tried lighting it

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That he realised it was roasted.

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No one smokes brisket, they roast it.

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But Eric was determined

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The smoking joint filled the place with....

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A purple dotted haze

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'Cool,' Eric thought to himself through the cloud that fogged both his room and mind. 'Not been this wasted since...err... since...'

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Yesterday!

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4 words only, domster. See post 1

But tomorrow is another

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Opportunity to chat to

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Changed in post 75 Gordon, but I do agree some folk are getting a tad carried away with their narrative. ;)

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The people in my head.

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I'd forgotten that, DinG, this thread was asleep for so long.

They're only ones who talk sense.

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They're the only ones I trust to lead me into....

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The Abyss right Now.