Body confidence
 

Hi all,
I was watching the Gok Wan,How to look good naked show last night and they where talking about teenage kids having no body confidence and that more should be done in schools to help these kids.
I totally agree with them and have signed this petition....
How to Look Good Naked - Features - Help Gok Get Body Confidence on the Curriculum - Channel 4

What do you think?

Re: Body confidence
 

body confidence ? as in they dont like how they look ?

Re: Body confidence
 

Sod that spend the time on extra PE lessons instead and there is nothing to be self conscious about. Any irrational negative self image is down to the glossy magazines - sort them out rather than have these lessons, prevention is better than the cure.

Re: Body confidence
 

so its "love the skin your in" and all that jazz is it ? if fat people are fat they should try and sort it out for there own health i would say....but people women need loving too :D

Re: Body confidence
 

I've just watched one of these programmes - just for research. The way he boosts her confidence is simply to tell her she looks fantastic and amazing all the time. This is the real way to get people to appreciate the way they look - for other people to tell them how good they look.

Most girls/women will appreciate that it only takes one wolf whistle or one compliment and it boosts you, instantly you put your shoulders back, boobs out and walk with more of a sashay. And that has a knock on effect.

So all you men out there - tell the woman in your life how good she looks and she'll instantly start to feel better about herself. Keep telling your daughters, whatever size they are, how gorgeous they are so they don't get to the point where their confidence is blown away.

Re: Body confidence
 

Totally agree with you but unfortunatly most men are still in the dark ages:D

Re: Body confidence
 

I'm sorry but I fail to see why being overweight should be encouraged.

Re: Body confidence
 

Feminists must be so happy, after struggling to change the world, that some women only feel good about themselves if they get wolf whistled at, or they have a gay man telling them they are beautiful.

How about teaching people that what this society describes as being beautiful, is only skin deep?

;)

Re: Body confidence
 

Well said

Re: Body confidence
 

Have to agree most men fail to see the benefit of telling their wife/girlfriend how beautiful they are... unless of course they are after something..... !!!! :D

Re: Body confidence
 

I honestly think if people need constant reassurance about their looks, then their self confidence should be addressed.

That way they wouldn't give two hoots what other people thought about how they looked.

Re: Body confidence
 

You've hit the nail right on the head there...:D

Re: Body confidence
 

I also watched the programme but won't be signing the petition because I don't see it as something to be put on the school curriculum. There was nothing wrong with the girls in the interview other than they were paranoid about how others saw them. The problem lies in the way magazines and the media portray how people should look and what size they should be. Hopefully this trend can be reversed.
We should all adopt the attitude "if you don't like don't look"

Re: Body confidence
 

:D Fair point.

I think it's a catch 22 situation though - some women feel confident and beautiful if they are told that they are confident and beautiful. The flip side of it is that if no one ever tells you that you're beautiful then some women start to believe that they aren't.

The way that Gok Wan boosted their confidence was to simply tell them how beautiful they looked because they couldn't see it for themselves and because no one else had told them. They didn't have the confidence in the first place.

If you want to address the whole issue of body confidence, then one way to start is to help people gain the confidence in the first place. You do that by reassuring them that they look good.

I also think that programmes like Gok Wan's could add to someone else's lack of confidence - it might make the woman involved more confident - but it might have the negative impact on others because it was still about trying to look slim. He was putting women in clothes that 'flattered' them and made them look 'slimmer'. Isn't he just perpetuating the myth that you have to look slim to be beautiful?

Re: Body confidence
 

I think if a person's self confidence was adequate, 'body confidence' wouldn't be an issue.

Outward appearance is a very fragile covering.

Masking the real person within.

Re: Body confidence
 

when it comes down to it, we all like to look good, it makes us feel better if we at least make the effort.....i'm fat and i dont give a (insert bad word) if people don't like me as i am then thats their problem, yes i get down at times, but i never get down about my size....

life is for living, sod what anyone else thinks


live life for you (insert 4 letter expletive) the others

Re: Body confidence
 

I would not get naked on TV for anything......no amount of compliments would make me do it. Because I have eyes which tell me that elderly naked flesh is, well, not exactly repugnant, but close to it.

It is important to make people feel that they are more than just the sum of their looks, but I guess that society has been hoodwinked, led astray by the'beautiful people'........you know who I mean, those young men and women that the media and magazines love so much, that they give us a blow by blow account of their lives......and we fall for it.
I reckon it is because a lot of people can see(or perhaps, use their eyes would be better terminology) better than they can think....and I don't mean that in a derogatory way....just that they don't think about what their own lives give to the local community, their families, their friends.
They value themselves cheaply......that is the kind of situation that need to be addressed. People need to feel valued.

Re: Body confidence
 

Groucho Marx said 'if you want to get a beautiful girl into bed tell her she's intelligent, and if you want to get an intelligent girl into bed tell her she's beautiful'.

Not strictly speaking relevant - but amusing. :D
And actually quite true in a lot of ways.

Confidence is based on a lot of things - how well you're doing with work/school, how other people respond to you and what they say, how comfortable you feel, how clever you feel, etc, etc. And yes, you might argue that some of those things are reactions to what other people feel about you but if you're getting negative reactions from people then it can chip away at someone's confidence.

There is no one fix suits all solution to 'lack of confidence'.

Re: Body confidence
 

Yes there is.

You can help someone to believe in their self worth, and to be proud of themselves, and their uniqueness.

If you're happy and confident in your own skin, what other people think about the way you look wouldn't matter one iota.

The ideal of what each society considers human beauty constantly evolves, but on the whole revolves around youth, which is wrong.

People of all ages can be beautiful, and that mainly comes from within.

Re: Body confidence
 

G.......you are spot on there......beautiful isn't entirely about what you look like....it is about who you believe yourself to be......self belief and confidence can make all the difference.

Re: Body confidence
 

Isn't that exactly the same as boosting their confidence, telling them that they're beautiful (and clever) and pointing out to them that they should believe in themselves because it's a good thing to believe in.

I think confidence is a two way thing - yes, you need to believe in yourself but also confidence can be given to you. How many times have you done something and been a bit tentative about it until someone has said, 'you're doing a good job' or 'that's worth doing'. That endorsement is all it takes to give you the confidence to carry on.

You can't suddenly become confident overnight. You can't look in a mirror and say 'hey, I'm not hideous looking, perhaps I shouldn't worry so much about it'. But, if someone came up to you and said, 'you look good today' or 'that dress/shirt suits you', it gives you the confidence.

Re: Body confidence
 

No, because it isn't focused on their outward appearance.

Re: Body confidence
 

But for a lot of people their confidence is based on the way they look. Yes, it's superficial and yes they probably have 100 more issues underneath but helping them build their confidence up is important.

As I said, self worth/belief in yourself is probably based on a lot of other things - ability to do their job/school, relationships, capabilities etc as well as looks. But this thread started off talking about body issues - the way to help someone get over their body issues is to give them confidence by boosting their confidence and telling them they look good.

Re: Body confidence
 

[quote=Gayle;751853]Groucho Marx said 'if you want to get a beautiful girl into bed tell her she's intelligent, and if you want to get an intelligent girl into bed tell her she's beautiful'.

quote]

Why bother with the small talk? Just tell her you want to go to bed with her.

Re: Body confidence
 

I disagree.

You can give them the confidence to realise that what other people think about the way they look isn't important.

Strangely in societies where hunger is a more pressing issue, very few people have this problem.

Reinforcing vunerable egos, by constantly commenting how someone looks, is papering over the cracks.

Making them realise they should be proud, regardless of outward appearances, and they won't care about 'body issues'.

Issue over.

Re: Body confidence
 

So what would you say to someone who was lacking the confidence to realise that what other people think isn't important? What would you say to make them feel proud?

Re: Body confidence
 

That how they look isn't of the utmost importance.

What society decides is beautiful is very transient.

People should be made to realise they are worth more than their looks alone.

Constantly telling someone that their appearance is pleasing, does nothing to improve a long time feeling of self worth.

Re: Body confidence
 

Sometimes people can make you feel proud without realising that they are doing this.....and it isn't necessarily by paying you a compliment about how you look.

Some people look confident but are a shaking wreck inside....they just have the ability to cover it well.
There is no 'one size fits all' solution to solving problems of confidence......every person will have their own insecurities about something, and no matter how much you try to tell them that their bum isn't big......if they have decided they think it is, it will be very hard to rid them of that idea

Re: Body confidence
 

Well this thread kind of took off:D
Right my experience is, until Sept of last year,i wouldnt be seen naked by my husband and my confidence was none existant. I thought i was fat and ugly, i was desperatly trying to loose weight while doing weight watchers and i didnt have a mirror in the house!
Now i like who i am,i have a big mirror in my room and can look in it and i think i look good. I no longer let the way i look control my life.
And do you know why, because i had a friend who shared some words of wisdom with me and maybe i sucked some of her confidence from her aswell. (if she reads this she will know who im talking about):tongueout
And thats what the kids of today need, they need some one to talk to them about there body issues and get them to realise it doesnt matter what shape or size you are, Love yourself, because thats what makes you happy!
I tell my daughter every morning when im doing her hair that she looks beautiful because i dont want her to have the teenage years i had!

Re: Body confidence
 

You're right Garinda ... has been extremely difficult believing everybody ...:D:D

MUMTOTWO !!! May I be the next to boost your confidence .. you have a lovely smile, great hair ... what the 'hell' is wrong with your figure or face ?? I took to you the first time I met you because ... not only do you have an outside beauty ...but the inner one that shone out to me immediately and I am sure to the customers you served in your previous employment. Can't believe that you were having such ridiculous thoughts behind all that !!

As for adding a self-esteem programme to the school curriculum .. not sure yet .. will have to ponder. Maybe a programme on how to make the 'best of what you have got, for all shapes and sizes' ... seems wrong to promote as trying to offer therapy for low self-esteem .. doesn't start out well if you understand .. :confused:

Re: Body confidence
 

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_8biwZUZ3g-...ink+Parrot.JPG



'Get you girlfriend!'

'Hot to trot!'

'Who's a pretty girl?'

'Who's a pretty girl?'









Gok you're fired.

We've got someone who'll work for peanuts.

:D

Re: Body confidence
 

Body confidence? What the hell is that?

I spent my childhood being told by my loving (honestly) mum that it was a pity I'd inherited my legs/hair/facial structure/teeth from my dad and not from her (to her everlasting sorrow I did not conform to the Shirley Temple ideal of small girlhood). ;) I spent the same childhood being assured by my dad that I was clever/intelligent/funny/good company. My mum ensured that by the time I was 17 I knew how to make the best of myself, physically, and my dad helped give me confidence in myself and my abilities that never left me.

What does it matter what you look like naked? When I got married I weighed just under 7 stones. I had a decent bosom and no bum. Well, have a look for yourself. :D

Re: Body confidence
 

That's a lovely photograph.

You look very happy.

What years was it?

'62? '63?

Re: Body confidence
 

You look the spit of the early '60's super model of the day, Fiona Campbell- Walters, later Baroness Thyssen.;)

http://img11.nnm.ru/imagez/gallery/b...5c9f817c25.jpg

Re: Body confidence
 

It was 15/9/62, Gary. I was very happy, and this was a few hours later. I was sober - I can't speak for the bridegroom. :D

Re: Body confidence
 

Sadly, I didn't really look much like her, but thanks anyway. ;)

Re: Body confidence
 

You do look very happy, and it's nice to have a face to put to the man who you've always mentioned with love, and fondness.

Where did you get married, and have the reception?

(Just being nosey now.):p

All those years studying the history of costume weren't wasted. I can still accurately date a neckline and bodice to within twelve months.:D

Re: Body confidence
 

Maybe you didn't have your mother's facial structure, or the Shirley Temple look as a child, but you certainly had the elegant look that was all the rage in the very late fifties/early sixties.

Google Image Fiona Tyssen, there is more than a passing resemblance.;)

(Incidentally I used to work with her brother, and met her quite a few times. She was beautiful, and that came from within.)

(Back on track.):D

Re: Body confidence
 

Last question, who made your cake?

Re: Body confidence
 

Married at St Mary's Church, Oswaldtwistle. The reception was at the New Inn, Ribchester. I believe it is a complete dive now but it was a lovely hotel in those days, quite posh in fact. How times change. :D

Re: Body confidence
 

My mother-in-law. My auntie Elsie (former baker) wanted to but she had retired and her health was poor so she wasn't up to it. She did lend us her silver cake stand. :D

Re: Body confidence
 

Thank you. :)

Re: Body confidence
 

Brilliant post:)

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West Ender....you were a beautiful Bride........and a lovely couple.....no-one can take that away from you.
And I agree with G....you do have a resemblance to the elegant model....maybe that is what body confidence is about....holding your head up high and being proud of who you are.

Anyone who has read my blog knows that I didn't grow up in an environment which would foster any kind of confidence, (I think this was more to do with the era, than anything else)........but it wasn't to my detriment........I built my own brand of confidence.....by pretence. I pretended I was confident.......and it worked for me.
The only person who knew I didn't have any confidence was me........and I wasn't telling!

Re: Body confidence
 

You do look beautiful in those pictures West Ender - very elegant. I think it's a shame that posture isn't taught in schools these days.

Re: Body confidence
 

Walking around with a book on your head was a thing we did then.
The knack never leaves you - on my 40th birthday I crossed the dance floor of the New Inns with a full pint on my head - didn't spill a drop:)

Re: Body confidence
 

Everybody's very kind but I was just ordinary - I still am. :D You have to remember I was just short of my 20th birthday, all youth and vitality, very slim and very, very fit - running for buses and trains every day (and in 3" stilettos too).

Maybe that's what body confidence means, being active. We had little choice, in those days, because cars were things your dad had and you walked or caught the bus. ;)

Re: Body confidence
 

Spot on Gayle.....no need for all those shrinks :D

Re: Body confidence
 

Being nosey, I was seeing who was on line, and saw a guest reading this old thread.


Rereading it, it made me laugh, and reminded me of this, from Abigail's Party.

:D

(Picture quality improves after a few seconds.)


YouTube - Abigail's Party: I've got very beautiful lips