Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

i THINK ALOT OF TRIDITION AND RESPECT HAS GONE FROM OUR BRITISH CULTURE OR (ENGLAND )FROM THE OLD DAYS..
FAMILYS ARE SOME WHAT LUCKY TO GET TO GEATHER, OF COURSE NOT FOR EVERY ONE OF US, BUT I SEE A DECLINE HOW FAMILYS USED TO OPERATE THAN WOT THEY DO TODAY.
ALSO TALKING TO THE NEXT DOOR TO YOU IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE...
REALLY TO SUM IT UP I BELEIVE PLACES LIKE EASTERN EUROPE AND OF COURSE OTHER COUNTRYS STILL HOLD THERE FAMILYS CLOSE TO GETHER WITH RESPECT AND TRADITION.
I WISH THE ENGLISH WERE MORE CONCERNED ABOUT THERE FAMILYS INSTEAD OF THEM SELFS,,, I KNOW WE LIVE IN THE RAT RACE AND IT CAN BE DIFFICULT TO MANAGE TO GET SOME OR ALLTHE FAMILY TOGEATHER AT TIMES, BUT I TRUELY THINK PEOPLE SHOULD MAKE MORE EFFORT,,, IF YOU WANT TO RESPOND TO THIS PLEASE DO ID BE MORE THAN DELITED

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I am still quite young, well I like to think I am (27 by the way)
I make more effort to see my family than either of my parents (divorced), or brother, cousins or any of them
I phone, go round, anything I can
If I left it to them I wouldn't like to say how long it would be before I heard from any of them
I am very family orientated and would love to see my parents a lot more than I do now

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A lot of people follow their jobs. My cousin is one of them. His job was moved to Poland and so he moved there. He still kept his house here and rented it out. His sister and her hubby - they moved to scotland due to her hubbys job. But yet their mother (my aunt) stayed in the house that they were brought up in till she died.

I can quite honestly say though i havent moved far from the house i was born in - ive been living in this house for the last 35 years. Mind you my boyfriend was born in huncoat and now lives in scotland and has done for the last 17 years. People move with their jobs, their partners etc a lot more now than what they used to do. It used to be that once you got a job you stayed in that job for life or something similar but when back in the 70s and 80s a lot of firms went bust and so they were out of work they followed the jobs that were available.

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in many respects i think yes, n whilst i am only generalising i reckon that asian/ eastern european or whatever do treat the familys , elders etc with more respect,i also reckon it began here in the 80s, peoples views changed for the worse. many may disagree, but thats how i see it.:(

Re: Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

As far as family life is concerned, yes it has changed.

We are much more of a transient society now.

We no longer live in the same, or near street, as our extended family.

Plus, a greater number of women go out to work than ever before.

Are the evils of today's society down to the breakdown of the close extended family?

Possibly, but personally I think the change in us as a society becoming more insular, and not caring as much for the people around us, started on May 4th 1979, when we abandoned traditional British values of respecting one another, and started the gradual descent into a culture of greed, and what we could grab for ourselves.:D

Re: Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

so i was 7 months out.;):D

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Re: Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

Mine are too.

It took me ages in London to break through that self insulated shell southerners have, until my neighbours eventually grunted more than hello.

It was great to move back up north, and I'm blessed with having great neighbours.

I wouldn't go as far to say our doors are always on the latch, and we pop in each other's homes all day long, if we need a new donkey stone or a bit of black leading for instance, but it's not too far off the mark.:D

Re: Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

[QUOTE=Bonnyboy;571157
[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3]Respect is something some of us were told to give our elders by default, not sure it still fits into today’s world. -----------------------------------------. why on earth should it not fit into todays world? :confused: my kids were taught at home to respect elders, n am happy to say both of em do. it may not fit into scumbags worlds, but it sure fits into mine.;)

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Re: Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

I agree Cashy....I have two daughters who lead their own lives....love e'm to death, but, if they say i'ts Sunday I'm inclined to believe them.
BUT.......They have two of my Grandson's who respect their Grandad and if I say to them that is wrong...by the grace of God they believe me.
I am lucky and can afford to give them a good education and keep them away from the run of the mill (Got to be careful what I say here) temptations that are offered to the less fortunate in our society.

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I agree, it would be a nightmare.

It must be bad living next door to that silly cow in Rishton, the one who keeps getting taken to court for playing Madonna at full blast 24/7.

Nevermind confiscating her music equipment, which she keeps replacing, she should be jailed to give her neighbours some peace.

Re: Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

She is a real weirdo, she used to come in the Con Club when I worked there. Generally it was to try and cadge of people. She got put in her shop though.

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Over here, it seems to vary for both the part of the country as well as cultural backround. I find up north, the Irish and Italians families put alot into keeping the family together. Heck, they even hug each other each time they see each other. My family was never much into the hugging. :>(

Down here in the south (mostly Scotch/Irish), the families tend to stay in the same place and are always getting together. Also, especially with the black families. I really envy those families that enjoy just hanging out together.

IT's really odd, even my wife's family (old swamp yankees), don't do much talking. Just the other day Cindy was on the phone with her Mum and they had a very long delightful conversation. I told her she should really call her parents once a week. I don't speak with my parents or siblings but maybe once every three months.

All for what it's worth!

Brian

Re: Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

Family members hug each other...Ewwww :D

Just kidding, our family dont do hugs, lord knows why. If you cant hug your family who the hell can you hug

Re: Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

have always hugged me kids n there both in 30s now, mind both live away so aint like ya see em every day.

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I think Rindy might appeciate one for luck.....:hidewall:

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I'm a big hugger.:D

When I was a child I overhreard my parents talking to someone whose parents had both died when she was in her terrible teens, and she never got to show them how much she loved 'em.

That really got to me, and I've never been afraid to show my affection ever since.

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Re: Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

So, So true unfortunately

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Have to admit I hug my kids when I see them ,usually once a year , (we live on different continents) I also hug my daughter-in-law, the son-in-law is a bit too 'Prussian' for the emotional stuff on greeting, a hand-shake works well (bothways) but a hug is okay on saying goodbye (who knows if its the last time).
Re. the grandchildren , hug the Grand-daughters , shake-hands with the Grandsons first, then a hug (in the traditonal formal German way) .

Meeting friends on social occasions ......depends on where they come from , if they are Brits/Aussies/Canucks ...its ..hey how you doing , if they are mainland Europe its the double kiss for the ladies and handshake for the guys , Americans ...handshakes for both, on first and subsequent meetings until you class them as friends then a 'hey hi how you doing " works unless you live in different States and don't see them that often .... then hugs are okay (I suppose) ,
Would never presume to hug a guy older than me , but if they want to show familiarity , its okay to go along

Re: Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

I make a point of hugging my family (aunties and uncles as well as immediate family), it does look a bit daft a 32 year old giving a big hug but I dont care, who knows when it will be the last time?

Every night when I put my son to bed I tell him I love him. If I'm away, I ring him to tell him. I like the fact that he can go to sleep knowing that i do, no matter what kind of day we've had or if we've fallen out.

My ex's family (my sons grandparents etc), are Geordies, and I travel there to take my son every couple of months or so. Its a bit of an effort, but worth it so my son still knows his family there. (I give them hugs too lol).

Being from an Irish Catholic family, when my nanna was alive, all the family used to congregate at her house at the weekend. Having 8 kids herself, and and average of 3 grandchildren per kid, it used to get pretty crowded, but was superb. She ruled the family and every single person had respect and love for her. Sadly, as soon as she died, the family drifted apart, and only once in the last 3 years have we all come together again.

Re: Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

I am sure you are some sort of political activist :rolleyes::D

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No, just someone with a keen interest in observing the subtle changes in the national psyche.:D

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Your comment on London reminded me of what my Uncle said years ago Rindi, after the war he settled in north London in Stanmore, He told us that he had lived there 10 years before he got to know his neighbours. He also like a drink but he stopped going out because as he said, I could stand at the bar for two hours and not one person would say hello, even today that would never happen here. As for my family, well both parents are dead now, I have two Daughters a Granddaughter, and two Grandsons (the youngest is 1 tomorrow) I see my eldest every week and speak to her a few times a week on the phone, she lives in Accy, I have a little problem with seeing my youngest, she lives in Vietnam and I see her twice a year Christmas and June, but we do get together when we can

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I'm stuborn, as well as friendly, so eventually beat them down. In the end I became good friends with the girl who lived in the flat upstairs.:)

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laughed at the comments about london, had the misfortune to live down the smoke fer approx 6/7 wks n that was mid 60s, was on my own n got completely fed up of goin fer a pint n nobody speaking, if i did was looked at like an alien, so after a big bust up in a boozer down elephant n castle way, due entirely to me tellin a guy,that he was n ignorant snotty get, i moved back to good old lancs,purely fer health reasons.:D

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My brother lived down south a while, near gatwick, he worked at tesco, and was young, so fitted in, when he returned there a while later, he says it was 5 yeaars before his neighbour chatted with him, I dont like it down there. My family always hug and kiss when they meet up, my partners family dont, so I always have to be aware of protocol when there are any mixed family meetings.

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Re: Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

Like i said ive lived in the same house for 35 years so i havent migrated very far - in fact i can see the bedroom i was born in from my back door. Neighbours what would you do without them? Mine kept me sane when mum was alive - when mum was having a go at the kids - they knew she wasnt well and explained to the kids for me that she wasnt well and if she went off on one at them it was the illness talking and just to say sorry and walk away. I babysat for them when their kids were small, they kept an eye on my mum when i wasnt around, looked after their pets when they went on hols we are neighbours and we live next door to each other. They also keep an eye on me - when im ill or the curtains havent been pulled back all day they come round and knock on the door or ring my family to check everythings ok.

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yeah you've always given me a hug n kiss when i've seen you at the meets and its luffly

i'm always giving Reecey hugs and kisses, infact thats the first thing he does when he gets up in the morning, he comes into my room, gets in bed with me and we have a huggle, he does get a bit embarrased when i shout out the front door 'LOVE YOU' when he's off to school

i kiss and cuddle my nephews and nieces too, i also tell my mates I LOVEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUU when i'm drunk too, ask chav, he was well freaked out when i did it to him once lol :D:D

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I second what Onlyme said earlier. since my mum in law died my hubbys side of the family dont see each other very often and the family gatherings are few and far between.
I dont really have a close family either so i do make a big pont with my own children to get them all together as often as possible. Its not always easy because they are all grown now and have thier own lives to live but I will insist several times a year they all get togather, I just hope they do it when im no longer around .

I also make a big point of the hugs thing even with my boys, and they really dont mind either, infact even at their ages now they all quite often and openly come to me and give me a big hug and kiss. I think its quite important and hope they can pass it on to their kids.

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I know people in London have the reputation for being aloof and unfriendly but, I have found, this does not apply to the East Enders (I mean the real ones - not the TV programme). I've spent a fair bit of time in London over the years, my husband worked there quite a lot and my son and his wife lived there for 4 years, and I always found people from the East End very friendly and easy to get along with.

Families. I was close to my parents, even though I never lived physically close to them, and I have remained close to my brothers despite them (and me) now being old codgers. :D I can't imagine ever "falling out" with either of them and certainly not with my grown up children, all 3 of whom are as unlike in temperament as chalk, cheese and chips but get on well with each other as well as with me. I tell them and my grandchildren that I love them and we hug from time to time. :)

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will qualify me remarks about unfriendly londoners, after reading West Enders post, i agree in regard to eastenders, love em to bits, have many friends from that area, i lived in south london (elephant n castle) and made em based on me experiance there.;)

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Well all ive heard so far is a 50/50 view on the tradition respect matter, which to me is good.. ive heard the mention of huggs and kissies towards other family members which leads me to say i never kissed or hugged or remember kissing a family member includeing my mum ever,, that was until i was about 30 and id seen more warmer familys,,, then i made a move to hugg my mother and kiss her and god forgive but i hugged my dad ( it felt good ),, i posted this tradition and respect value about familys not being as close as they used to be,,, as my wife is romanian and ive been married to her for five years,, we,ve just moved back to accy from fair and far, and she thought being more near the family in accy would make a world of diffrence,,, but now she cant work out y my family never come and visit,,,,, of course im used to it ( its all in one word " COLD " )...
i think diffrent now because of my wife and her annouence towards my kin,,, as every time ive been to romania my wifes family are never far apart....and yes i hugg and kiss my children all the time and will always till there old and one good reason is y is because i dont remember it,, thanks for your comments and veiws.. p.s i dont mean to be a pain towards anyone but my family are irish and catholic,, but as people said in the 70,s and 80,s i can remember lots of us around at our grannys all the time,,, but not anymore

Re: Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

That's the thing, most of the Knees Up Mother Brown, Doin' the Lambeth Walk, type of Londoners, are very friendly, and have a great sense of humour. It's the transient ones who are dour.

At work I had an eighty four year old cleaner called Mae West, and not taller than four foot ten in her stocking feet. She was an absolute gem, and we became good mates, plus she was always bringing me in tinned meat she was given by Southwark Council, which she thought tasted funny.:p

She's ninety three now, and has eventually retired, though she still shops for the 'old folk' in her neighbourhood, and goes out to the pub every Friday night...with her older sisters! :D

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met some older n me folk in a boozer in bethnal green a couple of years ago,when in with me son (exhibition) was just up the road, me lad is only mid 30s but plus being a scruffy arty type.:D they didn't differentiate n we had a great couple of hours n a good laugh in their company.

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Your havin a laff........:alright:

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Ur not joking there are ya, except you make it sound like we get a choice lol.

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When I worked in London we stayed in near the Oval cricket ground (Del Boys patch) and we regularly walked down to the Old Kent Road cashy. Went in the Elephant occasionally, but used to spend a lot of time in the Thomas A'Becket, the boxers pub with the gym over the top where Henry Cooper trained when he was boxing. The walls were covered with photo's of a lot of the old fighters, and I have a feeling its still there as well

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I think education has clearly taken a step back at some point :rolleyes:

I actually think there is more respect but less tradition. Take my example from yesterday, when leaving a shop I now automatically step back for gentlemen to let them pass through doorways first. This isn't really how things are traditionally, the male would normally open the door for the female. Now I think the genders have equal respect for each other which is really nice. The fact that that goes against tradition doesn't matter, because a lot of tradition doesn't involve that sort of equal footing but more emphasis on gender roles.

I think most teenagers in society are extremely respectful of the elderly and would always open a door or whatever for them, same goes for helping women with prams or people in wheelchairs and anything else which may impair the ability to do things with ease.

In regards to families, yes the traditional family has changed because it isn't just the nuclear family which is accepted in society these days. Within the family unit I think less emphasis is on love and affection because there is so much pressure on the adults of the family to work and provide education and food and such for their families. The elderly members of the family don't often live within the family unit but in their own homes or in care homes now, most likely because the male and the female of a family unit generally go out to work now, not just the male, so there would be nobody there to care for them and such.

I don't think there is anything particularly wrong in respect to manners these days. Even the typical chav would not stand and watch somebody struggle and would say please and thank you and all the rest of it.

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Sorry, but I do disagree with above highlighted. Many a time i have been in town, had people pushing past me, sqeezing through, tutting sighing and making comments and many (not just teenagers though!!) just stand back and watch as i struggle trying to manouver a twin pram through a doorway whilst holding the door open myself and grumble because they have no choice but to wait

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Serious question. Do you actually ever go outdoors ? :confused:

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That is one hell of a question Dave and one I completly agree with...........If you confront these people (as has been reported in the press for the last 12 months)......you finish up dead.
They will not give up their seat to a pregnant woman or a pensioner who is obviously struggling and even have the cheek to put their feet on the opposite seat on train or bus and challenge you if you complain.
The worlds gone mad?

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i think im close to my family ; everyone i know say im wrong cuz my kids come first then my family ;then my husband ; dose anyone else think like i do; or am i the only one ;

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Your family, close or extended come first.
Your kids are of course the priority and are your responsibility and the responsibility of your husband.
Dont neglect your extended family because hopefully they will come to your aid should anything go wrong.
Advice is good...but beware of silly off the cuff remarks that will not benifit you at all.

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Spot on ;)

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I am very close to my family. When my husband and I were moving in together, I did not want to move away from my family, I lived in burnley for a few weeks then back over to accrington. I have since moved and I am less than 5 minutes walk from my mum and dads house. My sister is also less than 5 minutes walk away and my other sister is less than 5 minutes drive away. I would say I am very close to my mum and dad and would like to think I am the same with the rest of my immediate family. I speak to my mum almost every day, go round when I can (which is when they are fit enough for the twins to be there as they can be quite demanding at times and make quite a mess) but I am ALWAYS there whenever my family need me, be it just to pick something up from the shop, pick the kids up from school, babysit etc or just to listen if theres a problem. I will never move away from my mum and dad, they would have to move away from me and then there would still be a chance that i would follow them lol

Re: Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

I'm very close to my family and make sure i see them a couple of times a week and am always on the phone with them.
We all hug and kiss and tell each other we love each other.
I think it's very important to do so because you never know what is going to happen.
I found out the hard way when my mum died and i didn't say i love you before she did.
Since then i make sure everybody around me knows how important they are to me.

Re: Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

Although I earlier admitted to being a big hugger, I also believe that love is something you show, without necessarily having to say it.

I've known people who make a big song and dance of saying they love someone, and they've treated them like dirt.

I've also known people who've probably never said it, but they've shown love throught their actions.

I'm very sure your mum will have known you loved her, without you having the need to have actually said it.

Re: Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

Agree with what rindy said about your mum knowing that you loved her.


Im just hoping my sis is still speaking to me after she gets the homemade 50th birthday card tomorrow :D..... otherwise me, my sisters and my brother and my nieces and nephews are close. We always have been .... we know that if we need something we can always go to one another... for support, help, just for someone to talk to.

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yes, although I must admit, the 'chav' in lancaster is a completely different breed to the ones in hyndburn...

but I have never had a problem with a lack of manners on public transport or with doorways in regards to chavs, in fact its always the elderly people I have the most trouble with. So many think its their god given right to shove past people and jump queues just because they're elderly, and as far as I am concerned the only place they'll be getting to before me is, well... I'm sure you can work it out :p

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There's only one in Lancaster?:confused::confused:

Re: Has Tradition And Respect Gone From The Old Days
 

Canadians are generally a friendly bunch and most are close to their families even if part of the family is in St. John's and the other part in Vancouver Island five and a half time zones away. Many families get together at Christmas and at Thanksgiving, the big "family" times. Asian Canadians, Italian Canadians and Portuguese Canadians tend to have closer families. In general, people in rural areas and small towns are friendly and open ... Newfies and Stubblejumpers (Saskatchewan folk) are great ... but in the GTA and Calgary and Vancouver they are a lot like the worst Londoners. First Nations people are very big on family, even with all the problems on reserves. But I do remember that times were different when I was young and in England ... I like to think it was better, but I may be wrong. Perhaps we are going thro a period of social change that will hopefully lead to a new, yet different stability.

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I can agree with some of what you say , but will add the following ...when a couple get together , both parties have to make some breaks with their original family unit , many break-ups are caused by interfering in-laws from both sides , a guy who gets married is getting married to one person , not the mother-in-law or the sisters in-law, same with the girl , she is getting hooked up to one guy and not his mother, who knows how her little prince likes his eggs boiled and his shirts starched .
Humans are not much different than other animals and once they reach a certain age they have to spread their wings and leave the nest . Ask any parent what they want for their children and they will tell you they want the best .......if that means the kids picking up and moving to say Australia , and taking the grandkids with them then most parents I think would say ...ok ...go do it , we love you , we will miss you , but its your life, go live it .

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Do agree with you also on some things, my parents would back up any decision I made, be it to move away etc but thats never been what ive wanted. I wanted to stay near my family and must admit that if it wasnt for my mum and dad after I had the twins god only knows what state I would be in now. My mum was (and still is when needed) my rock and I know that I would have fallen apart after having the boys if it wasnt for her and my dad. Hence my want and need to be still close to them

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Speaking from my own family (three brothers and three sisters) us three girls all live local and the boys have moved away. In my opinion girls tend to stay nearer home, could be wrong but would be nice to hear other peoples thoughts.

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Think you may be right there, wouldnt say all but seems quite common, 3 girls 1 lad in my family, all us girls live in accy, bro went uni, lived away (inc china) but is back in accy now though but us girls have never moved away (yet)