Accrington Web - Average contents: 2

Hers some I found
•Sleeping Pills -- Caution: May make you drowsy.
•Lighters -- Contents flammable.
•Dog Shampoo -- The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.
•Shampoo -- Intended for use on hair only -- not eyes.
•Stroller -- Remove infant before folding for storage.
•Curling Iron -- Not for internal use.
•Microwave Oven -- Do not use for drying pets.
•Child's Playhouse -- This is not a toy.
•Toilet Bowl Cleaning Brush -- Do not use orally.
•King Size Mattress -- Warning: Do not attempt to swallow.
•Can of Insecticide -- This spray is harmful to insects.
•Firecrackers -- Do not light while holding in mouth.
•Fat-Free Potato Chips -- May cause anal leakage.
•Peanut Butter -- Warning: May contain nuts.
•TV Dinner -- Remove plastic wrap cover before eating.
•Batteries -- Do not swallow. C or D batteries may cause choking.
•.22-Caliber Rifle -- May cause injury or death.
•Hardware Store Rotary Drill -- This product not intended for dental purposes.
•Hemorrhoid Suppositories -- Remove aluminum wrapping before insertion.
•Disposable Diapers -- Dispose of after use.
•Electric Cattle Prod -- For use on animals only.
Hair Coloring- Do not use as Ice Cream Topping

Hair Dryer- Do not use while sleeping

Iron- Never iron clothes on body

Coffee- Contents may be hot

Children's cough medicine- Do not drive or operate machinery after taking this substance

Airline Peanuts- Directions: Open Package, Eat Nuts

Peanuts- Warning: May Contain Nuts

Computers- Keyboard not Detected: press F1 to continue

Dumpster- Do not play in or around

Camera- Camera will only work with film inside

Japanese GameCube Manual- Do not put head in deck: May result in injury

Aspirin- Do not eat cotton inside

Can of Soup- Open Can, Empty into serving container, Stir

Cigarette Lighter: Do not ignite near face

Chain Saw- Do not attempt to stop chain with hand or genitals

Soda Bottle (on Bottom)- Open other end

Drink Bottle- After opening, hold upright

Holiday Lights- For indoor or outdoor use only

Kitchen Knives- Keep out of Children

Marks and Spencer's Bread Pudding- Product will be hot after heating

Blanket- Do not use as protection from a Tornado

Shower Cap- Fits one head only

Bottle Cap- Warning: Bottle cap is small

Light bulb- Do not Lick

Microwave- Do not put cats or children in microwave

Kitchen Knives- Do not stab self. May result in injury or death

Dial Soap- Use like any other soap

Food Processor- Do not use for other use

Children's Superman Costume- Wearing of this garment does not enable child to fly

Bottom of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert- Do not turn upside down

Most Frozen Foods- Must be heated before eating

Water Bottle- For best results, remove cap before drinking

Sleep Aid- May cause drowsiness

Blender- Do not use as an Aquarium

Razor Blade- Do not use during an earthquake

Dog Biscuits- Not intended for human consumption

Swanson Frozen Dinner- Serving Suggestion: Defrost

Air Conditioner- Avoid Dropping Air Conditioners out of window

Vacuum Cleaner- Do not use to pick up gasoline or other flammable liquids

Vacuum Cleaner- Do not use to pick up things that are currently burning

Nabisco Easy Cheese- For best results, remove cap

Liquid Plumber- Do not reuse bottle to store beverages

Bowl Fresh- Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet

Toilet Plunger- Do not use near power lines

Floodlight- This flood light is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark

Coat- Wash when dirty

Wheelbarrow- Do not use when temperature exceeds 140 degrees Fahrenheit

Mattress- Do not attempt to swallow

Computer manual- If on button does not work, try plugging computer into the wall, usually with a power cord

Fire Logs- Risk of Fire

Matches- Matches may catch on fire

Dog Shampoo- Do not use contents to feed fish

Curling Iron- Warning: Product may burn eyes

Hair Dryer- Do not use in shower

Shin Guards- Shin guards cannot protect any other part of body that they don't cover

Ziploc- Do not climb in bag and zip it up: doing so may cause injury

Shipment of Hammers- Do not swallow

Sign at a railroad station- Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted

Silly Putty- Do not use as earplugs

Frisbee- may contain small parts

Altoid Mints- Replace cap between use

Beach Ball- Do not over-inflate. May cause ball to burst at seams

Watch- Japan quality: Made in China

Road Sign- Caution water on road during rain.

7 Up-Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening

Sainsburys Mineral Water-suitable for vegetarians

Silk Soy Milk- Shake well and buy often

Volvic Natural Mineral Water- Bottle exclusively designed for the use of Volvic Natural Mineral Water. Do not refill

Lucent Technologies Model 6210 Telephone
The following is found on page 4 of the instruction book: To place or answer a call, lift the handset. To place a call, dial the desired number. To end the call, hang up the handset. To put on hold, press "Hold"

Windex- Do not spray in eyes

Herbal Essences Maximum Hold Hairspray- WARNING: Do not smoke until hair is dry.

Heinz Ketchup- Put on Food

Bakery Cherries- Flavored with real fruit

Domino Sugar- Ingredients: Sugar

Ring Pops- Made with real fruit juices: (Artificially flavored)

Fruit by the Foot- Remove from cellophane before eating

Hormel Pepperoni- Do not eat packet

Haagan-Daz Ice Cream- Caution: Ice cream is cold

Lunchables Nachos- Directions: Dip chips in salsa and cheese

Giant Bucket of Pickles used in Fast Food Restaurants- Warning: Children can drown in bucket, do not place kids in juice

Wal-Mart Fish Tank- "Additional purchase ideas: rocks, aquatic plant life, fish"

Mr. Bubbles- Not intended for human consumption

RCA Television Remote Control- Not Dishwasher Safe

Road Sign- "Ignore this sign".

Road Sign Cruise ships use airport exit

Road Sign- Warning to tourists: don't laugh at the natives.

Dryer- Do not use dryer to dry pets and children

Road Sign- If tunnel is dark, remove sunglasses.

McDonalds Sign- Parking for Drive-Thru service only

Road Sign- Secret Nuclear Bunker >

500 piece puzzle- Some Assembly required

Harry Potter Toy broom- This broom does not actually fly

McDonalds Toys- Warning! this bag is not a toy

"Guess Who" Game- Cards do not actually talk

Lawnmower- Warning: Do not attempt to remove blade while lawnmower is running or plugged into an outlet.

Mulch- Contains Forest Products

Bath and Body Works Candle- Final Product not tested on animals

Bag of Carrots- Ingredients: Carrots

Laundry Detergent- Remove all clothes before distributing in washing machine

Red Baron Pizza- When cooking, place crust side down

Beef Taco Hot Pockets- This Product must be cooked prior to eating (This is a frozen food)

Roll of Life Savers- not a flotation device.

Handgun- Not to be used as a nutcracker.

Panty Hose- Not to be used in the commission of a felony.

Palm Sander- Not to be used to sand palms.

On a microscope- Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear.

Windshield sun shade- Do not drive with shade in place.

Infant's bathtub- Do not throw baby out with tub water.

Wheelbarrow- Not intended for highway use

TV Manual- Do not pour liquids on TV set.

Shampoo- Use repeatedly for sever damage.

Toner Cartridge for printer- Do not eat Toner

Novelty Rock Garden set- Eating rocks can lead to broken teeth.

In an guide to setting up a new computer: to avoid condensation forming, allow the boxes to warm up to room Temperature before opening.
(instruction was on the inside of the box.)

Piano- Harmful or Fatal is swallowed.

Wet Suit- Capacity:1

On a packet of Sunmaid raisins-Why Not Try Tossing Over Your Favorite Breakfast Cereal?

Manual for a heated seat cushion-Warning: Do not use on eyes.

On a bag of fresh grapes- Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator.

Instructions for a cordless phone- Do not put lit candles on phone.

Birthday Candles- Extinguish candles before throwing away

Bulls-eye Ball- Score depends on skill of player.

Coffee Pot- Broken glass can cause injury. Do not hold pot over people.

*NEW* Coolerz Gum- Not for weight control

And some dumb signs:

On a Septic Tank Truck- Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

On a Septic Tank Truck- We're #1 in the #2 Business

On a Plumber's Truck- We repair what your husband fixed

Pizza Shop Slogan- Seven Days without Pizza makes one weak

On a Plastic Surgeon's office door- "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a towing company- We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.

On an electricians truck- Let us remove your shorts

In a nonsmoking area- "if we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

On a maternity room door- Push. Push. Push.

At an Optometrists office- If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

On a Fence- Salesman welcome! Dog food is expensive.

At a car dealership- the best way to get back on your feet--miss a car payment.

Outside a muffler shop- No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

In a veterinarian's waiting room- Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

At the Electric Company- We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be.

In a Restaurant window- Don't stand there and be hungry, come inside and get fed up.

In front of a Funeral home- Drive Carefully. We'll wait.