To find out or wait???
 

We are expecting our first child in October, and will be going for the 2nd scan in a couple of weeks. At this scan we can find out the sex of the child if we wish. Originally we decided to wait until he or she is born to find out the sex, as we wanted the excitement of finding out on the day. Recently though we have discussed finding out at the scan, because we haven't the patience to wait that long!!
We are not bothered what sex the child is, and it isn't a great problem decorating the nursery or buying clothes for him or her, when we don't know what sex it is.

Does anyone have any suggestions or opinions as to whether we should find out or wait, or if you have been through the same experience.

Re: To find out or wait???
 

It'll be October before you know it, When I was expecting Siobhan I was very tempted to find out but Ian wanted the surprise on the day so we waited until the day and got a lovely surprise.

With it being your first i would say it would make it more special to wait.

Re: To find out or wait???
 

When my wife was pregnent we disscused at length over this issue and decided to wait. All clothing was nuetral with the plan to buy once we were sure. We were offered the choice but declined with the result that when she was in labour and we did not know the sex we were more "teared up " because of it. The not knowing and anticipation is worth it. The decission has to be down to you and partner we can say how we felt and with luck both mothers and fathers will add their views on both sides of the question.

Re: To find out or wait???
 

For the first I would say wait, teh second it is probably more convienient to know so you can start sorting out bedrooms etc.

Re: To find out or wait???
 

When I had my first we decided not to find out. That would have been fine but everyone kept telling me I was having a boy (old wives tales, midwives etc). We had a boys name chosen and I'd got used to calling it a 'he'. Then when she was born and the midwife said 'it's a girl' I didn't believe her at first.

So when the second was due I decided to find out straight away then there was no confusion at the birth.

It's very personal though so it's got to be your call!

Re: To find out or wait???
 

Why dont you ask them to write it down and seal it in an envelope, thats what we did when I was expecting our first, I didn't want to know the sex but Ian did, we didn't find out in the end and it was a lovely surprise. We are now expecting our second in October and I think we're going to find out this time!

Re: To find out or wait???
 

We could not wait to find out with our first and second but i think if we were to have another one(and that would be the last!) we would wait to find out as we now have one of each.

Re: To find out or wait???
 

When I had my children (now aged 42, 40 and 30) there was no such thing as a scan. I would have loved to know what sex they were, before birth, but it was unheard of. The odd thing was, I had a gut feeling about all 3 of them and I was right (girl, boy, girl).

My eldest daughter found out her baby was a boy just a month before he was born - I'd been right again - and my younger daughter knew from 12 weeks that hers was a girl, which I'd said from the day she announced she was pregnant!

It's an individual decision, whether to know or not. No one can advise you but, if you don't want to know, better not invite me round just yet. :)

Re: To find out or wait???
 

Remember that it isn't 100% accurate. After a scan that said we were having a girl we named my bump Kayleigh .......... Kayleigh was quickly renamed Thomas :D

Re: To find out or wait???
 

You do realise that by posting this he can now sue you for PBT(Pre Birth Trauma ) :D

Re: To find out or wait???
 

Having not had any children, I have no idea how I would feel if it ever does come about, but I do know me, and I think I would wait and enjoy the surprise on the day.

Re: To find out or wait???
 

That's a cracking idea, thanks grego. I will suggest that to the misses

Re: To find out or wait???
 

This is true, Ive heard so many stories similar to this, and they only have 2 options how can they get in wrong!!!!!!!!!

Re: To find out or wait???
 

As in West Enders case, I had my two before scans were the norm. My daughter chose not to know the sex of her three but my son and his wife decided it would be better for them to know.

Personally, I found that the most exciting thing about giving birth was asking what it was! I was well lucky though. I wanted a son first and a daughter next and that's what I got!!

June xx

Re: To find out or wait???
 

Why don't you use the old fashioned way of finding out the sex of the baby , dangle a threaded needle over the Mother-to-be's belly and see which way it swings, backards and fro is one sex and side to side is the other (don't remember which is which, but sure someone does)

Re: To find out or wait???
 

Like West Ender there was no such thing as scans when I was expecting but unlike West Ender I wouldn't have wanted to know, but as already stated it is a personal choice.

Re: To find out or wait???
 

Re: To find out or wait???
 

I found out the sex with both of my pregnancies....it is very practical to find out, I mainly found out because hubby already had 2 boys and if honest i would have loved a daughter and at the time didn't expect to have another baby.....turned out to be yet another boy for my husband... and a 1st son for me.
I think when it comes down to it, it really does depend on how organised you want to be.
As a woman expecting her 1st child all I wanted to do was to shop for baby clothes....which I did with a venegence and knowing the sex made it much easier...though hubby would say it wasn't easy on the bank balance!!!!.
With my second I found out because I "felt" very different than I did with my 1st, so I really couldn't wait to know...it was a daughter.
I was considered quite old with both my pregnancies 35 with my first and then 37 with the second, another consideration is are you planning on having anymore...maybe have a surprise with the 1st and if you are having a second then you could find out the sex with that pregnancy.
I think it helps you make a connection with the baby too, as you can decide on a name and use it when talking to the "bump"

Re: To find out or wait???
 

Hehehehe, I can tell you from a midwives point of view that it is very easy to get the sex wrong on scan. Ultrasound scanning is an extremely specialised job and telling the sex is about 95% accurate and depends on a lot of factors.
The size of the mother is very important. If the mother is overweight it is harder to see the baby's anatomy because you have to scan through several layers of mum.......therefore scans can be difficult and inaccurate.
The baby has to be in the optimum position on the day, if its legs are closed or crossed......you've no chance.
Male and female genitalia look very alike in early foetal life and only start to develop differences from about 16 weeks onwards......therefore scrotum can look like labia and the clitoris can resemble a penis and vice versa. For those reasons, scans can be difficult and inaccurate.

From my point of view, I always find that people are far more excited in labour and at delivery when they don't know what they're getting. It always seems such an anti-climax when you say to someone 'it's a boy,' and they say 'I know.' :D

Re: To find out or wait???
 

I am glad I didn't find out the sex of my daughter before she was born as later in the pregnancy I was told I had to have a c-section; so had I found out what she was there would have been no suprise at all as I knew the date and time of her birth beforehand!

Re: To find out or wait???
 

With my first I really wanted a surprise and had a beautiful boy and a surprise he was as he was due in feb and came early on xmas day (sorry Lettie :o ) with my second I sort of asked and the lady sort of said she couldn't tell for sure so I sort of left it that way and along came another beautiful boy with black hair with bright blonde streaks too!!! :) :) but in June this time :D

They are only 17months apart in age so now I am glad they are both boys. they do fight like cat and dog sometimes but I also think they relate better with each other being close in age and both boys.

shame eldest at 14 yrs old is 5ft 10 and youngest at nearly 13 years old is still waiting for his growth spurt at 4ft 8 :rolleyes:

Re: To find out or wait???
 

There are amazing 3D ultasounds available now. We looked into it with Siobhan but by the time we found one she was a bit too old as we would be meeting her within a month anyway.

You have to go private for them and they aren't cheap but the results are amazing.

They even do video of the baby moving. Check out some of the example clips.

Here is an example company, there is one in Leeds I can't just remember the name of, Julie will be along tonight as I'm sure she remembers it

http://www.proscan-uk.com/11-gallery.htm

Re: To find out or wait???
 

Although the 3D scans produce brilliant photographs I would not pay for one for diagnostic purposes. The whole point of a scan is to diagnose potential abnormalities. I do know of someone who had a 3D scan instead of the 20 weeks free scan at the hospital. Their baby was born with a large structural abnormality which should not have been missed. Their scan report mentioned no such abnormality.....:(

Re: To find out or wait???
 

Sorry, I wasn't implying that this could replace anything done by teh professionals, only something that parents may like to do as an 'additional extra'. We saw it as more of a nice to have pretty picture rather than anything 'medical'

Re: To find out or wait???
 

The company Ian metiond earlier for the 3d scans was called Inner-Vision.

Here's the website http://www.baby-pregnancy-ultrasound-3d-4d.co.uk/

Re: To find out or wait???
 

thanks for that buttonsmum, we have also seen some by a company called babybond in Manchester, they are quite dear, but seem like an amazing idea

Re: To find out or wait???
 

thanks for that buttonsmum, we have also seen some by a company called babybond in Manchester, they are quite dear, but seem like an amazing idea

Re: To find out or wait???
 

thanks buttosmum, we have also seen some by a company called babybond in Manchester, they are quite dear but seem like an amazing idea.

Re: To find out or wait???
 

Having seen my grandchild's scan at about 5 months, I was certain it was a boy, and I was right. I do think it's more fun to wait and see, unless there is some particular reason for wanting one sex or the other, in which case the disappointment could predate the baby, then you could just enjoy what you got, if you see what I mean (not sure I do ...). It does all come down to personal choice. I was told that if you're all out at the front, it will be a boy, if you carry all round (sort of barrel on legs) it will be a girl. Very scientific!

Re: To find out or wait???
 

Julie carried out front and ........ it was Siobhan!

Re: To find out or wait???
 

Personally i planned to ask and if they couldn't tell then that was a sign that i wasn't to know till the baby emerged, but i felt lucky to find out and as i wanted a boy i was exceptionally happy to find that was what i was blessed with :)