You gotta laugh at americans...
 

This is a transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US Naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The transcipt of the Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval operations on the 10th october 1995.
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship, I say again, divert your course.
Canadians: Number One, I say again, divert your course.
Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees noth. Thats on five degrees north, or counter measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

Questions asked of witnesses during trials in the US

"Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
"The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"
"Were you alone, or by yourself?"
"Were you present when your picture was taken?"
"Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"
"Did he kill you?"
"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
"How many times have you committed suicide?"

Q: "So the date of conception(of the baby), was Aug.8?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"

Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"

Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
A: "I went to Europe, sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"

Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by who's death was it terminated?"

Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

I'm half American, but I agree, they are very stupid!!!

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

But saying that, we've all had our blonde days!! (Hang on I'm half American and Blonde, I'm really not being nice to myself am I???:p

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

hole digging deeper

carry on!! *L*

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

I'm only digging myself deeper!! I not being mean to Americans as i'm half way there!! LOL!! I have Lancashire accent, but I only have to speak to my relatives on the phone and i'm in an American accent, it weird really!!

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

Will send a set of ladders and a rescue team if you dig too deep. :D

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

That is an absolute diamond of of a quote Mani, where do you get these gems from?

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

Over 50% of Americans believe in creationism over evolution, apparently.

Thats kinda scary isn't it.

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

cant remember the exact stastic but a large percentage of americans believe god personally is rooting for america

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

btw incase anyone is thinkin this

this thread is in no way shape or form "a yet another anti-american" thread

an american friend of mine sent me an email sayin


according to Reuters, "Nearly two-thirds of Britons think the fiery Italian sauce Arrabiata is a sex infection"

i hadnt even heard of arrabiata till i read the email

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

Laugh at them? Only if i can shoot at them first!

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

In a poll Americans thought the greatest American is jesus.

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

Exactly! They are thick as pig shi7

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

You forgot to put the link to the MENSA site on your webpage , obviously you are a member :confused:

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

I think you'd better explain to them what MENSA stands for steeljack, since they do not know how usefull 'pig manure' can be.

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

Thank God (or whatever) for the fools in the world. They make the rest of us look good.

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

BTW, Cyfr, that "quote" from Ben Franklin is not one of his, but a common misattribution. Not found in any of his writings.

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

Not a true story, check it out on Snopes.com.

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

When God Created Canada

On the sixth day God turned to the angel Gabriel and said "Today I am going to create a land called Canada.

It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty - it shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, and beautiful sparkly lakes bountiful with carp and trout. There shall be forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs overlooking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and rivers stocked with salmon."

God continued, "I shall make the land rich in oil so to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth."

"But Lord," asked Gabriel, "don't you think you are being too generous to these Canadians?"

"No, not really." God replied... "Just wait and see the neighbours I am going to give them!"

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

*LMAO*

thats class flashman

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

You've got to remember though that one of these fools has their finger on the button

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

Oh stop it off Flashman, its to early in the morning for all this laughter, I'll be waking the the bloke next door

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

"So sleep well, my darling, the sandman can linger
We know our buddies won't give us the finger" - Tom Lehrer, "MLF Lullaby"

As i recall, there have been a number of folks, some American, some not, whose ability to use nuclear weapons has been cause for concern.

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

Thank the good lord that it is our fool and not a 'Russian' fool that has his/her finger on that nasty button.

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061205/...okies_ads_dc_1

the latest advertising gimmick , the smell of warm cookies(biscuits) in bus shelters .........I suppose it will make a difference from the usual smells left by the street people

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

Wow! Someone took a huge chunk of Karma, incorrectly claiming that I had defaced the Union Jack. If it were not obvious from the message left by my detractor that it was the act of one who was simply ill-informed, it would have been a real slap in the face.

It is hardly defacing the UK flag, any more than other countries with historical ties to the UK have defaced the Union Jack by paying tribute to the UK by including the design in their flag. The flag I use is the Grand Union Flag, an early American flag. It was created in about 1775, prior to the Delclaration of Independence and was at least somewhat symbolic of the desire of the American Colonies to reach accomodation with the British Crown. Here's a link to the wikipedia article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Union_Flag

BTW, it is also quite similar to the flag of the British East India Company. One might also note that it is based on the 1606 Original Union Flag, as opposed to the 1801 version currently used, which incorporated the Irish cross into the design.

I put the Grand Union Flag as my avatar as an indication of my friendship with the British people and how much I enjoy your country. Apparently, no good deed goes unpunished. If folks find it offensive I'll strike my colors, but this is the first objection that has been voiced.

It was also a pretty sneaky act, as the person who clobbered my karma managed to omit his handle. I'm not inclined to pay heed to the comments of someone who does not have the guts to stand behind his words.

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

I love your flag Billcat, keep waving it proudly.

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

Bloody babies

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

I would like to thank those who reponded so quickly and positively. The gifts of karma are appreciated, Casper, steeljack, and Wynonie! Even better are the kindly comments.

I researched the history of the flag prior to adopting it as my avatar, as I wanted to be clear regarding the history and the meaning of the flag. The more I read, the more appropriate using the Grand Union Flag became.

The Grand Union Flag stays!

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

you keep it billcat STUFF EM.;)

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

Thanks, cashman!

BTW, going back to the name of this string. If you have to laugh at Americans, please remember that the Brits have a long and wonderful history of laughing at things British. And that all well and fine - and as laughter, properly applied, is a gift, isn't it great to find reasons for healthy laughter!

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone.

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

You beat me to it, John W. When I read Mani's post, it seemed rather obviously another urban myth.

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

Well if thats the case I am sunk. :(

Re: You gotta laugh at americans...
 

[quote=Billcat;345729 I researched the history of the flag prior to adopting it as my avatar, as I wanted to be clear regarding the history and the meaning of the flag. The more I read, the more appropriate using the Grand Union Flag became.

The Grand Union Flag stays![/quote]


And quite rightly!